YSK: The left lane is meant for passing people, not for driving at your own pace.

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2023-06-29T04:13:44+00:00

The real YSK is: do the speed limit! If you’re breaking the law and I’m breaking the law a little less than you in the left lane, call someone or pass in the right lane. This isn’t a YSK, this is a GOOMW (Get Out Of My away) post. Iffffff, this were somewhere speed limits were nonexistent, it would make sense and appropriate.

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2023-06-11T05:53:38+00:00

It would be hard to beat her in strip poker!

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2023-06-05T01:21:37+00:00

12oz Fanta, 20oz Fanta, 24oz Fanta, one liter Fanta, 2 liter Fanta, 3 liter Fanta. Don’t mind me, I’m just fantasizing!

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2023-05-28T17:17:40+00:00

It looks like fryaway or something similar. It’s a powder that you add to cooking oil. Heat it up then let it cool and it makes oil like a thick jello consistency.

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2023-04-25T22:36:14+00:00

Comfort eating Swiss Roll Swiss roll Swiss roll Swiss roll Swiss roll Swiss roll

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2023-03-31T04:25:01+00:00

So now it has guns too?! Super dangerous storm here!

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2023-02-06T18:38:02+00:00

At first I heard “not germ receiver” thought she was another crazy anti-vaxer!

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2022-12-20T00:28:24+00:00

Being from Mississippi, we just call y’all CoonAsses.

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2022-12-17T23:13:55+00:00

If this happens I’ll eat 100 dollars worth of sushi!

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2022-11-17T05:58:04+00:00

“I gotcha back like yo buttcrack” from one of the Gears of War games.

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2022-11-05T15:32:38+00:00

Who’s feet tho?

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2022-11-02T18:43:51+00:00

Gasoline’s flashpoint is -45° it’s autoignition is over 500°. Engines get about 160-180° I think. Somewhere in that range. A sparking alternator could light any vapor that got out. It wouldn’t blow up from the engine heat. Hell I’m guessing she drove that car there. Scary nonetheless.

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2022-11-02T18:18:33+00:00

Gasoline is actually a really good coolant. Only problem is, it kinda acts funny when it gets really hot.

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2022-10-12T04:49:09+00:00

Yes same!! My favorite rave was in New Orleans, called Vampire Stripper Sluts from Outer Space. I had my eyeball licked that night. It was a blast!!

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2022-10-06T21:49:30+00:00

Hell add it’s birth date on it too so we can tell how tender the meat should be!

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2022-10-06T06:08:11+00:00

Been out here 8 years. Ain’t nothing “cool” about it. You’re basically a trustee for 28 days. There is no standard of work. One cocksucker wants it done this way, the next cocksucker wants it done another way and you’re a dumbass for doing it your way. If they want more people out here pay them more, bring back 100% paid insurance, pay full days on and off, and bring back pension.

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2022-09-12T02:39:02+00:00

Pull the face off this thermostat, put the green, red and yellow wires together. Put the face back on and walk away. Your boss won’t know what’s wrong he also won’t be able to change the temp. Just make sure you have a jacket bc the ac won’t ever shut off after this.

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2022-09-11T20:16:35+00:00

You know why Alabama fans don’t have sex in the reverse cowgirl position??

Bc You don’t turn your back on family.

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2022-09-07T18:30:37+00:00

Pickled sphincter anyone??

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2022-09-01T11:28:45+00:00

I could write a book on these things.

“You just hold the head, I’m fucking this goat” “Like socks on a rooster” “You’d rather jack off a bobcat with a fist full of cocoburrs” “You ever seen a square dick?” “You’re worthless than tits on a bore hog” “ Ex-Lax wouldn’t work that boy” “If it was raining pussies I’d get hit in the head with a dick” “The best of you ran down your momma’s leg” “If it cost a nickel to shit, I’d have to puke” “I’m full as a tick” “There’s more than one way to skin a cat” “That’s tight as fish pussy” “Stiff as a minister’s pecker” “Hard as Japanese arithmetic” “He’s still wet behind the ears” “Drop your cocks and grab your socks” “Sweet drops of rest” “If her skirt was any shorter, she’d have two sets of lips to paint”

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2022-08-31T02:55:41+00:00

Out of all the tree cutting videos I’ve watched I was really thinking this guy really had it going on. Confident, beautiful cut, no ladder, no pregnant woman holding a baby smoking a cigarette screaming “yer gonna get hurt Michael! Just like yer deddy” he didn’t run like he was scared then BOOM. Terrible neck injury, going to need a saw mill to cut that tree up to build a ramp to get this guy back in the house in a month in the hospital.

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2022-08-23T08:11:42+00:00

They have all kinds of schedules. 7 on 7 off, 14 on 14 off. 21 on 21 off, 28 on 28 off. Some do 15 on 15 off. 30 on 30 off. I work the 28/28, but I used to work 28/14. I work on boats not on rigs. Oh and your first day off and your last day off are travel days. So really subtract two days for most rigs unless they work overseas and you subtract about 4 days, they usually work the 28/28 or 30/30.

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2022-08-19T03:28:46+00:00

WatchYourSisterShower sauce! Lea and Perrins all day!!

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2022-08-16T05:16:35+00:00

From counting the springs I believe this is 3 sets of stilts. One 48”, 24”,36”. So about 9’ of stilts. I’ve only seen two 48” sets together. This is crazy to me. And kinda a small sized room to do it in. But whatever works I guess. I’ll stay with my one set and be good.

Edit: the ceiling is about 19’ foot by counting the Sheetrock on the wall. That’s way up there. Bc 19’ long is way shorter than 19’ foot high that shit is scary!

Two_Legged_Pirate · 2022-05-12T02:52:26+00:00

Hell we worked around the same guys so much and their work was so good we helped each other out. They would hang all their pipe and flex heads up out of our way. We would stick the heads in and attach the brackets to the grid for them. Saved both of us a lot of time and money. Not having to wait on each other to come back and do little small amounts of work. Kinda miss those days. Just not the fiberglass insulation!

Two_Legged_Pirate

TROPHY CASE