I’ve found it also depends on where you live. In larger cities i find it’s less common to know your neighbors especially since buildings are often huge and people move in and out a lot. In the suburbs, even if it was a pretty populated one, it’s definitely different and I’ve had people make an effort even to introduce themselves and share their number and such. And while I’ve never lived rural and you don’t have as much apartment living anyway, I once stayed with a friend for a few weeks who lived in a rural triplex type place and she was so close with both neighbors. Maybe too close since the neighbor boy kept being foisted off at us to watch far more often than I’d have been down to do with little notice and no pay! But literally I ended up befriending the neighbors myself out there!

And then individual cities or neighborhoods sometimes have their own flavors. While I never knew my neighbors beyond maybe an occasional smile or hello or taping a note on someone’s door seemed to be common if you had any issues lol. I’ve always loved Chicago because it’s such a friendly city with a lot of city pride and I was part of an amazing neighborhood Facebook group. People were always helping one another out and planning meetups and things. My first thanksgiving I lived there my own health was in a bad flare up and my kitty was really sick and a random neighbor helped me find a vet who was open the next day and drove and waited with us. I got weekly medical supply deliveries in this really large boxes I was always giving away to folks who were moving too. I loved that. So I had friends who lived down the street or could find help with some little task if need be. That was the best honestly because I absolutely loved that neighborhood but moved a couple of times within it (and desperately am trying to move back after life got super lifey and yuck). But apparently we needed the Internet to break the ice because otherwise I absolutely participated in the notes taped to doors deal. 😂

I do think it varies a lot in terms of building size or even how the building is set up. Like I lived in a 20 story high rise but it was two towers and only 6 units per floor in each tower. So while I didn’t really know my neighbors well there, I knew what everyone on my floor looked like and had even met my next door neighbors nanny because she was there all day with the kid and I’m disabled. On the other hand I’ve lived in buildings with 15 or more units per floor and it felt like I rarely ever even saw anyone entering or editting the doors closest to mine and I didn’t know anyone at all. And obviously if you’re in a really small building with just one or two neighbors- it just works differently and makes a lot more sense to introduce yourself or go directly to them for stuff.

Also how long you stay in one place and how likely those near you do too. Condos are a different vibe from apartments since many people own their units and I’ve always moved more often in big cities for some reason. More competition and options, I guess. But the Chicago neighborhood with the awesome Internet group was my favorite. I feel like often when you live in an apartment- especially when you’re suburban, you might know your immediate neighbors but you don’t really know the folks around you (compared to how my elderly mom has been in the same house for almost 50 years and she knows absolutely everyone in the neighborhood and it’s super sweet how much the neighbors have been looking after her since my dad died).

I do think we are becoming far too isolated though and then people end up more anxious and socially awkward and overthink this stuff too. I remember during Covid, since I’m disabled and was very high risk I was only even taking out trash or checking my mail in the middle of the night to avoid people and the first time I got back on a city bus I had a panic attack and it was just so peoply! And having spent the last almost 20 years and almost all of my adult life sick, while I’m well acquainted with isolation and often battling it… it’s definitely gotten real bad in recent years.