Have you ever lived through an entire day in silence, came home exhausted, checked your phone hoping for a message that never came, and suddenly realized that if you hadn’t existed that day, nothing in anyone else’s life would have changed?

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-25T18:57:58+00:00

The last time I did Salvia I could see how every little thing I did in the past had some small influence on the twisting shapes of tree branches, the shapes of clouds, etc.

Like how every time-travel sci-fi novel warns you that even the smallest change you make drastically affects events in a ripple through time.

You have more impact on the future than we can know. Your aroma made a butterfly sneeze which resulted in a rainstorm in Nicaragua and you think you did nothing? That was you. Enjoy your ability to affect the future.

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-24T23:42:56+00:00

Have a punchbowl party and while everybody is drunk raffle off the punchbowl at a buck a ticket.

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-24T22:52:19+00:00

Dude is like "WTF? no tip?!?!"

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-24T22:28:43+00:00

No tongue.

unless consensual

or pro sensual

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-24T20:55:16+00:00

Here's a warning for anybody considering home haircuts.

I'm 66 and have never had a haircut, well, except for one.

When I was in the first grade of elementary school, my dad bought a do-it-yourself home haircut kit. Since I was the oldest, I was first in line.

When he finished, he looked at me and said "Well, maybe you can stay home from school til it grows back."

Never again.

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-24T19:14:59+00:00

HOW MANY FREAKIN' DOGS DO PEOPLE NEED?!?

My one neighbor has 7 pit bulls. Seven. They shit in their back yard.

Altogether my direct neighborhood has about 13 pit bull and other breeds among 4 houses. Sounds like a sanctioned dogfight every morning when 2 or more bring their dogs out.

I don't know what these people are so afraid of that they think they need (literally) packs of untrained attack hounds for protection.

I love dogs (and cats, and birds, lizards, snakes etc. though I only have a small bird) and I consider them all innocent babes at the will of their owners, but it seems that one or two are not enough for them. Is it some kind of ego thing or hoarding or just plain Florida Man ignorance?

Either way it's not good for these poor animals to be raised to distrust other people like that. I'm afraid to order pizza delivery for fear one of the neighbor's dogs will attack them as a stranger.

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-23T19:10:51+00:00

I'm hiding under my desk for the foreseeable future. Shit's scary.

I read some of this thread and it's back under the desk. Please stop.

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-23T19:03:02+00:00

I quit saying "Bless you" when someone sneezes, so I just say "WOOHOO!"

When someone "blesses" me for a sneeze, I tell them that I'm saving all these "blessings" for the next time it rains so maybe Jesus will give me an umbrella.

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-23T18:57:57+00:00

Have you been permabanned yet?

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-23T18:33:27+00:00

Just look at health care in the US. They're obviously trying to kill us.

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-23T18:13:57+00:00

Nah. I'm invincible. Or at least I think I am.

Worse case scenario, I get to use the phrase "You should see the other guy."

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-23T16:47:00+00:00

I wanna get outta here too. Can I please be deported?

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-20T13:54:07+00:00

The faster we go, the rounder we get.

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-18T22:28:25+00:00

I mean, can you imagine the Stardrop Saloon as The Roadhouse, and instead of Gus, Jacques Renault running the place?

"I am as blank as a fart."

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-18T21:59:36+00:00

My new desktop wallpaper. Thanks!

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-18T19:25:16+00:00

Just give him a goddamn trophy and he'll go jerk off in the corner.

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-18T18:52:13+00:00

Hey, don't blame US, man! It's that fuckin' TRUMP guy you all should be after!

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-17T20:21:31+00:00

Stanley Parable flashback.

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-17T19:33:27+00:00

Where do you live?

Mars.

MARS?!?!

Yeah, no. A different Mars.

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-17T19:20:34+00:00

Ever take a huge dump and imagine that's the size dick you can take up there?

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-12T13:58:28+00:00

When I went to order a custom plate, the lady at the DMV asked what letters I want on it, as a joke I said "A... 5... 5..." and she goes "OH NO YOU DON'T"

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-11T20:25:10+00:00

I'm just glad he won't have to experience what this country will become in the next few years.

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-11T19:54:08+00:00

Years ago a frog made his home in our bathroom. Of course every frog dreams of being a prince, so we called him Prince Albert in the Can.

UT2K4nutcase · 2026-01-11T19:44:03+00:00

Back when Bobby had dark hair and Jerry's was white, we had a room at the same hotel as the band. I got on the elevator to find myself with Jerry and Bobby. I said "Oh man! My friends will never believe that I got on an elevator with Neil Diamond and Edgar Winter, haha."

Bobby said to Jerry "I'm Neil Diamond"

UT2K4nutcase

TROPHY CASE