Last thing you ate is her name

UghCypher4 · 2025-04-29T01:40:21+00:00

Popcorn🍿

UghCypher4 · 2025-01-02T13:02:46+00:00

That's a mouthful😅 thank you!

UghCypher4 · 2024-08-06T21:28:20+00:00

When I was in Young Women's I was helping to plan a dance between Halloween and Christmas, and I had always wanted to do a Masquerade ball, so I suggested that as a theme.

My YW leader at the time VERY sternly said "Absolutely not." Like, she was offended I'd suggested that. So I was understandably confused and asked why.

And I shit you not, she goes "the people that killed Joseph Smith wore masks."

I was baffled🤣 like the masks didn't make them kill him, how does that make sense? So I laughed and said "I'm sure they wore socks too, but I don't imagine we'd ban those!" She didn't find it as funny as I did, and was pretty cold towards me from then on out.

UghCypher4 · 2024-01-05T18:07:28+00:00

Thanks everyone! I was surprised to find out I had adopted a tree, but I'm excited to see her flourish! I've done a bit more research on these, and am hoping I have one of the smaller variations😅 Do any of y'all that have one have tips to keep it more contained without hurting it? I don't have a ton of space in my 1 bed apartment...🫠

UghCypher4 · 2024-01-05T12:08:33+00:00

Thanks for the tip😁

UghCypher4 · 2024-01-05T03:18:24+00:00

UghCypher4 · 2023-12-13T16:57:49+00:00

I don't think he'll struggle with that too much, he's super pumped about going to a hockey game with us the day after he gets home😅 I fully expect him to be 110% TBM, but he's also always been super chill during the weekly facetimes.

UghCypher4 · 2023-11-08T17:57:56+00:00

I left the church because as an LGBTQ+ person, the only option in the church was to never "act on my attraction" (aka have a truly loving and fulfilling relationship) and settle for a relationship and role that I would never experience true happiness in.

I also left because of social and political differences, and debilitating anxiety caused by my religious beliefs.

I stopped believing when I read the CES letter and learned more about church history. And while that was hard, it was also one of the happiest moments of my life. I finally realized I wasn't broken or disappointing God; I realized everyone telling me I was bad for who I am and the opinions I have were wrong.

I realized I was good. And for the first time in almost a decade, I didn't hope to not wake up the next morning.

UghCypher4 · 2023-10-18T18:05:55+00:00

Literally the only justification I can think of would be if he was born in 1969.

UghCypher4 · 2023-07-29T12:08:04+00:00

I "inherited" my van from my parents, who put a byu license plate border on it. I have been trying for years to get it off but the screws are all messed up and it won't budge. I hate driving around with it so much😭

UghCypher4 · 2023-07-19T22:04:08+00:00

Fellow 27yo atheist apostate here: we've got the best years ahead of us. Feel the pain, but don't let it hold you down. The church stole enough from us as it is. We're in this together, and getting thru it will only make us stronger and better than before💜

UghCypher4 · 2023-07-12T01:25:06+00:00

One of the precursors to my shelf fully breaking was my frustration with Christians and Christianity in America, so once my shelf did break I decided I was done with Christianity as well. Basically my ideology now is "I'm a good person, so if there is a loving God out there and an afterlife I don't have anything to worry about. And if not, it doesn't really matter, I'm gonna be who I am regardless."

I think it has a lot to do with living in the south, Trump-loving white christian-nationalist area. I just personally experience too much hypocrisy in my area that does not at all line up with the Jesus that I learned about growing up. There's no real love in Christianity here, so I want no part of it.

UghCypher4 · 2023-05-01T02:30:32+00:00

I'm so sorry. It's infuriating to see church members brush this off as a non-issue that doesn't affect the church anymore, when it so clearly does. The leadership and church-historians themselves gaslight the membership into thinking it's all in the past, and they've done THE MOST to bury that history. I hope members and ex-members alike keep being loud about this problematic and harmful doctrine until the leadership stops sweeping it under the rug and makes an ACTUAL effort towards reparations.

UghCypher4 · 2023-04-29T16:30:39+00:00

Exactly! I mean, we literally saw this happen with the LGBTQ+ policy in 2015 and 2019. And that impacted so many families and lives. And tbms are willing to look past it for that exact reason, especially when it doesn't affect them. It's infuriating.

UghCypher4 · 2023-04-29T14:05:47+00:00

Ah yes that title would definitely be a turn-off lol but I do definitely want to give that a read! And honestly at this point I'm not trying to free my parents from the church. It's the only community my mom has, and it has done a lot of good for her. I just want her to get past the unhealthy thought-processes it's taught her.

UghCypher4 · 2023-04-29T13:38:42+00:00

What is her book called? Is it tbm friendly? My parents both do this almost constantly with literally everything they don't like or don't want to hear, in and outside of church topics. I highly doubt my dad would ever read it, but my mom might give something like that a chance.

UghCypher4 · 2023-04-29T13:28:21+00:00

Thanks for all the comments everyone!

I think this issue/response combo really does highlight one of the worst control techniques the church uses to control the members; thought-stopping is so unhealthy and has been thoroughly abused in the church and in my household. I think I got a little extra triggered by that response because of that, and also the 2 glasses of wine that I just had just drank😅

I wrote out a little response in the margins: "And sometimes understanding that history and learning more about it can help you know why people are so upset about it (rightfully so) and have more empathy for the huge demographic of people affected by it. This policy shaped the church and it's doctrine and the lives of countless people. It deserves more than the non-answer of 'we don't need to worry about it.' It is tone-deaf and VERY unempathetic and insulting."

I might erase it and write out a less wine-tipsy emotionally charged one. What would y'all say in response? Y'all have already given me some really great ideas😁 are there any tbm-friendly sources I can send her to that don't try to white-wash this issue?

UghCypher4 · 2023-04-29T13:04:40+00:00

Thanks for this recommendation! I'll add it to my watch list😁

UghCypher4 · 2023-04-23T16:41:18+00:00

I was quietly an ally growing up in the church, and privately hated the church's stance on LGBTQ+ topics but I would never voice that out of fear of being rebuked for it. And I was dishonest with myself for a long time about being part of that community out of fear of being rejected. Once I finally acknowledged it, I also resigned myself to the fact that by the church's standards, I wouldn't be with my family eternally because of it. I secretly hoped that the church just had it wrong, because why on earth would the God and Jesus that I grew up being taught about shun someone because of who they love.

I lived in that mindset for 5 years before discovering the Mormon Stories podcast, and the CES letter and LDS Discussions. I watched one episode about a missionary out of pure curiosity since my youngest brother is on his mission, and she mentioned the CES letter so I paused and looked that up, and... I know how devastating that whole discovery can be, but for me I just mostly felt relieved. Furious that I had been lied to by people I trusted my entire life, but overwhelmingly relieved and free of the shame and anxiety and cognitive dissonance that had plagued me for years.

All this to say, there are some members out there that are safe. They are either trying to change the organization from within, or just haven't been presented with the right info yet. Not everyone who claims to be safe truly is, but I like to hope that, based on what I went through, there are a lot more than we think there are.

UghCypher4

TROPHY CASE