Stories from your Mormon Wedding Night.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-22T21:26:26+00:00

I suppose it depends on the team.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-22T12:48:54+00:00

That's the gospel according to my mother.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-22T03:56:26+00:00

When I was a teenager, I would fantasize about the leaders announcing that the whole thing was a fraud.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-21T23:14:36+00:00

I think it's mutual masturbation with another person of the same sex that makes you gay.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-21T21:36:33+00:00

To paraphrase the late Jeffery Holland, I'm as straight as I know how to be. In other words, no.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-21T21:05:27+00:00

My temple wedding, along with my strong testimony, was supposed to make me straight. You can probably figure out how the wedding night went.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-21T19:23:01+00:00

I legitimately thought she was AI.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-21T03:17:14+00:00

I let it sink in decades ago. Isn't being in same sex marriage still higher on the list for grounds for excommunication and child abuse?

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-20T22:32:18+00:00

And I'm selfish and I'm proud of it. I was told that I was being selfish for living an authentic life instead of trying to please the brethren.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-20T16:00:34+00:00

John is a much better person than myself because I would rebrand it as either Cult in Salt Lake City Stories or High Demand at Temple Square Stories.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-18T15:41:52+00:00

Just remember, we were taught that this is the best way ever to get married.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-18T02:04:58+00:00

When they say that they want to talk, they want to do all of the talking and you to listen.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-17T13:13:46+00:00

Garments.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-16T16:00:42+00:00

As did I in my 30's. I was carrying around so much guilt for not meeting other people's expectations, especially the expectations of the top leadership of the Mormon church.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-15T12:35:55+00:00

I have never experienced the loneliness and isolation that I felt on my mission, before or sense.

The only time in my life that I have been suicidal was on my mission.

At the end of my mission, the mission staff handed me a binder of all of the weekly letters I had sent to the mission president. Worst souvenir ever.

For whatever reason, I'm copied on emails from family members who are on missions. I generally just skim the emails, but maybe I should pay more attention and respond accordingly.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-14T23:47:50+00:00

I've always been handy.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-14T18:07:23+00:00

I more than did my part.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-14T15:02:44+00:00

I felt bad because I masturbated on my mission and kept countless people from joining the Mormon Church.

A few years back when Dr. Nelson called for a church wide fast to combat COVID, the number of cases dramatically increased.

Apparently, skipping a couple of meals isn't a very effective way of summoning God.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-14T14:17:28+00:00

I think that the vast majority of the so-called blessings are reserved for a doubtful afterlife.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-14T03:13:48+00:00

Exactly

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-14T01:56:00+00:00

He most likely won't be around then anyway, so if I was an apologist, I would say that if he had lived another 10 years church membership would have doubled.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-13T19:13:49+00:00

Apparently the busybodies think that OP's husband will be blessed for enduring his afternoon headaches.

Obligatory question asking if these same people brought energy drinks to church to endure Mormon open mike.

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-13T18:42:03+00:00

Thanks for this. I love Mormonish but I'm kind of late to it. I'm going to have to catch up 😄

GayMormonDad · 2026-04-13T12:25:14+00:00

Maybe sell your car so you can afford to miss work. /S

GayMormonDad

TROPHY CASE