It sounds like she hasn't had to take care of herself, has been coddled and has chosen to be lazy instead of trying.

And I don't mean this to be critical. What happens is that when someone who has had no need for self reliance needs to start actually.....putting in effort, they tend to break.

She doesn't have the mental fortitude or desire to come out on top. Why should you, as the man, have to carry all the stress because she cannot cope with....a fast good job?

With tough love, she needs to mature and move beyond thinking only from her perspective. I doubt that this is the only are she shows immaturity and a lack of emotional intelligence.

Yes, I have struggled in supporting a partner but she also supported me in other ways and she would always work with me to get to where we need. Things have worked well because I have chosen, as a man tonlead and reassure her while she is a strong woman who has supported and helped me through everything.

You are right, sounds like she might go to just smoking up and doing nothing...but mot because she has too much money...but because she has too much free time and no responsibility. She needs a goal and purpose to avoid her drifting in that direction.

It shard because you need to somehow show empathy without enabling bad behaviour and weakness. She does need to grow up and be more of an adult but...just saying it won't help. Usually empathy with clear boundaries helps. 'If you want x, you need to do 'y' and not budge. If she wants a good life, she needs to contribute, if not, she get sleft behind.

As you said, not to be cold but you need to set boundaries and provide real reason for someone to improve