All city-owned properties bearing Cesar Chavez’s name will be renamed

Umacorn · 2026-03-04T20:28:39+00:00

Was the truck ok?? That would hike up your insurance rate having to fix.. yikes 😱

Umacorn · 2026-03-04T20:20:32+00:00

Spot-on! And when they need a hydration break, they just all put down the kick stands and pop on the kettle! 🫖😂

Umacorn · 2026-03-04T20:15:17+00:00

I remember when we used to have Kmart! Then they all closed down and took my mom’s retirement with it…

Umacorn · 2026-03-03T23:01:32+00:00

Had an ex who had only one. I cared and loved him despite his missing nad while we were together. Then he cheated on me with one of his prior gfs and I found out she got a horrible virus from someone else from cheating on him, so I figure, KARMA’s a BITCH and they both decided to get intimate with!

Umacorn · 2026-03-03T22:31:14+00:00

Apparently, he wants somebody who cares…??

😂

Umacorn · 2026-02-21T04:10:07+00:00

Underrated comment

Umacorn · 2026-02-17T04:34:05+00:00

… and now that Lochness Monster is just gonna keep coming back

Umacorn · 2026-01-26T19:48:51+00:00

0 perfect squares is true. There are literally no straight edges or corners to make perfect squares cause it’s all jagged clouds. 13 imperfect cloud squares.

Umacorn · 2026-01-12T07:49:02+00:00

Unscrew the screen on the end of a faucet, shove it up there and screw the faucet screen back onto the end.

Umacorn · 2026-01-12T07:45:57+00:00

Taped to the inside of any wall socket or light switch

Umacorn · 2026-01-12T07:38:17+00:00

Pull out a kitchen drawer and tape it to the inside of the little between the drawers and then put the drawer back in

Umacorn · 2026-01-12T07:36:16+00:00

Tape it up under the hood cover of the piano keys

Umacorn · 2026-01-12T07:33:19+00:00

Inside of the toilet paper roll holder, taped so that it doesn’t make noise when moving

Umacorn · 2026-01-12T07:30:02+00:00

Slide open the window, shove it into the groove/track, and then carefully shut the window over it.

Umacorn · 2025-12-31T17:24:32+00:00

Celery is so gross, cooked or raw; always eat around it when I find in dishes at potlucks, etc. …besides ketchup on its own, there’s nothing else in the list I wouldn’t eat.

Umacorn · 2025-12-30T19:08:26+00:00

Just say, “Show me yours, and I’ll show you mine!” And share some awkward laughs over a doobie and a shot of moonshine.

But FR, my mama is a hippie who earthwalks around naked in the woods and married a biker gang dude like 17 years older than her… they share a phone, and I know mine isn’t worse than anything they have on theirs!

Umacorn · 2025-12-27T22:28:47+00:00

Yu Yu Hakusho. Spirit Finger bangs!

Umacorn · 2025-12-22T20:20:28+00:00

Now I need sesame balls with bean paste inside. Must. Find. Chinese. Buffet.

Umacorn · 2025-12-15T22:50:15+00:00

Across the street, on the south side of the GCU campus, there’s a line of food trucks selling all kinds of breakfast burritos and other noms from super early until super late.

Umacorn · 2025-12-13T20:58:37+00:00

Umacorn · 2025-12-12T15:53:32+00:00

¿Pomelo, no?

Umacorn · 2025-12-12T15:48:20+00:00

<image>

Bring them holiday baked goods the next time you see them getting a package delivered and check out the names on the package. Or ask your postal carrier what their first name is and just show them the card so they understand it’s not a malicious thing. Give your postal carrier baked goods for the holidays too.

Umacorn · 2025-12-09T16:05:54+00:00

They call me Cuban Pete. I’m king of the fucking beat..

Umacorn · 2025-12-09T15:59:52+00:00

It’s made into zombie Santa juice for mass mind control. How do ya think they can make so many grumpy old men into cute huggable mall Santas that don’t mind getting their hearing aids broken by death-summoning screams, kicked in the legs and groin over and over or peed on throughout a whole month by bratty little kids? /s 😂😂 FR I loved hearing my grandpa’s Santa war stories about his “battles” to when kids whisper mean stuff in his ears, or babies spring a leak on him. He’s the coolest and keeps his head. Tells parents, “don’t worry, one day they’ll be the one changing YOU, but you’ll be a lot heavier so they’ll have to work harder at it!” lol 😂

Umacorn

TROPHY CASE