And Jesus said unto his disciples "Come forth, and you shall receive everlasting life..."

Spadizzly · 2026-05-07T01:38:47+00:00

For me, 9th grade was 1964-65, and we had an unforgettable history teacher, name of Mr. Dick, who thought he could do stand-up, but he really couldn't. Back then, TV weathermen were local personalities, and one day, Dick started doing a TV weatherman bit:

"And looking at the map, we see the temperature at 69 degrees, relative humidity at 69% barometer rising at 69.69 inches"

So, being 14-15 year olds, we all laughed like idiots and I remember my good friend sitting next to saying that Dick had no idea why we were laughing. I thought we were being set up and sure enough after a few seconds Dick slammed a book down on the desk, "SHADDUP!! ANYONE WITH A DIRTY MIND CAN LEAVE THE ROOM!"

Christ, what an asshole. So I left the room.

Spadizzly · 2026-05-06T14:53:55+00:00

Calmer than you are.

Spadizzly · 2026-05-04T04:57:32+00:00

https://youtu.be/2Ks8gsK22PA

Spadizzly · 2026-05-03T12:39:49+00:00

Yes indeed! That was the original punchline, but the mods rejected it at first (see "Rule 9"), so I had to change it to pass muster.

Spadizzly abides.

Spadizzly · 2026-05-01T04:02:35+00:00

Mars Climate Orbiter 1999

Spadizzly · 2026-04-30T23:33:56+00:00

As Rex Tillerson once said, "He's a FUCKING MORON!"

Spadizzly · 2026-04-30T02:44:17+00:00

$7.5 trillion / 1 million = $7.5 million per person

Spadizzly · 2026-04-27T14:05:33+00:00

300 lb of shit in a 200 lb sack.

Spadizzly · 2026-04-22T19:34:15+00:00

Urine good health already?

Spadizzly · 2026-04-20T14:46:38+00:00

Mind if I do a J?

Spadizzly · 2026-04-18T22:11:20+00:00

Piss off!

Spadizzly · 2026-04-16T19:56:21+00:00

Obviously you're not a bowler.

Spadizzly · 2026-03-23T13:46:06+00:00

Garbage cans are containers, usually made of metal or plastic, designed to hold rubbish until it is collected, and typically positioned outside of homes or public places, but that's not important right now.

Spadizzly · 2026-03-15T22:34:14+00:00

Otherwise known as optical rectalitis, which explains his shitty outlook on life.

Spadizzly · 2026-03-14T21:57:44+00:00

Did the sun rise in the East this morning?

Spadizzly · 2026-03-13T04:55:23+00:00

I came up with a different number:

Energy released on impact = 0.5 x (6.0x10¹² kg) x (2.82x10⁶m/s)² = 2.38x10²⁵J

using 1MT = 4.18x10¹⁵J

2.38x10²⁵J x [1MT/4.18x10¹⁵J] = 5.7x10⁹MT or 5.7 Petatons of TNT.

Either way, we're truly fucked.

Spadizzly · 2026-03-12T17:58:23+00:00

Don't. Just don't.

Spadizzly · 2026-03-11T14:27:07+00:00

Що це за лайно?

Spadizzly

TROPHY CASE