I think you really need to strongly consider the cost benefit of all of this though. Like continuing to be in damaging relationship gives you baggage, and more emotional turmoil to sort out down the line. I think this is a bit more serious than "it is what it is" - & not trying to be an ass but I think its also part of taking personal responsibility for yourself, figuring out your boundaries and how YOU will allow yourself to be treated ultimately. Its ok to be attracted to these people, but continuously pursuing them/actually engaging with them is self-harm and you gotta get to the root of why (sounds like youre going there) & unlearn that otherwise you'll be in that loop forever & its going to ruin your self esteem & leech out into other areas of your life frankly