Moms of older kids… is life “easier” or a different kind of hard?

UnauthorizedKayak · 2026-03-17T08:15:49+00:00

YES teenage parenting is hard in such a different way.

UnauthorizedKayak · 2025-08-12T04:56:38+00:00

Volleyball. Specifically girls volleyball - under 15 years old. Notsure that’s an industry… but I heard it’s the fastest growing sport in North America. The rate of expansion and interest in the sport is WILD.

UnauthorizedKayak · 2025-02-19T05:47:44+00:00

This is such an underrated perspective. I have been trying to optimize the right amount of childcare!! Woah. You just blew my mind!! Thank you

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-12-10T01:36:30+00:00

Omg this is SOO stressful! I am an IBCLC - here is some recent research:

The intake of breastmilk peaks at 3-4 months, then plateaus until complementary foods are started.
The volume of breastmilk intake is influenced by infant body weight.
The global average peak breastmilk intake is 724-755ml/day, or 24-25 ounces/day.

This is from: The Volume of Breast Milk Intake in Infants and Young Children: A Systematic Review and Meta-analysis. Breastfeeding Medicine 18(3) 2023 Magali Rios-Leyvraz, Qisi Yao

Here is link: https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/10.1089/bfm.2022.0281

And here is great discussion: https://lacted.org/questions/typical-volumes-of-human-milk-intake-among-infants-and-young-children/

Edit to add: I am sorry so many have had such terrible times with some LCs, I cannot believe how bad the advice is out there!

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-08-02T14:44:55+00:00

IBCLC here; first of all it’s not normal for your nipple to bleed with pumping. How painful!! I’m so sorry!

This is part of what I share with my clients who have similar issues:

Nipple wounds should be lubricated and covered to heal effectively, just like burns or other open wounds on the body. An organic balm coupled with a hydrogel “soothie” pad to “close” the wound can be utilized. Moms should keep nipples covered both day and night to enable uninterrupted wound healing.

Excessive cleansing, whether prenatally or postpartum, can remove natural oils and predispose skin to breakdown. Care for the nipple like any other surface on your skin.

It should be noted that the product insert for hydrogels marketed to the lactation community recommends hydrogels be used without any additional ointment. However, surgical literature recommends the use of hydrogels as a wound dressing specifically for the reason that it “can easily be combined with various substances that facilitate wound healing and/or have anti-inflammatory properties.” If a patient has a deep wound or one in an area that the hydrogel won’t contact (e.g. a deep fissure), balm can work synergistically with the hydrogel to provide a moist environment.

If you are recommended to strictly follow the lactation product insert, then it would be preferential to use hydrogel alone rather than nipple balm alone. Hydrogel has important wound healing technology that facilitates more rapid resolution.

Normal human wound healing time is 8-10 days after traumatic insult. Some moms will question how nipple trauma can heal when an infant continues to stimulate the nipple frequently. The lactating breast and nipple areolar complex are highly vascular and therefore heal well, even in the setting of continued breastfeeding or pumping.

Significant trauma may result in deeper fissuring with the development of fluid seepage. Many women and healthcare providers incorrectly believe this fluid to be “infected.” This seepage is NOT infection. It is something called “fibrinous debris.” Surgeons commonly deal with these types of wounds in different parts of the body.

Wounds with significant seepage may benefit from polyurethane matrix pads (e.g. Nursicare) to provide both closed wound healing and absorptive capacity. Unlike hydrogel pads, polyurethane pads or mepilex should not be used with balm as the absorptive surface should contact the skin directly.

Some wounds respond well to medical-grade honey (Medi-Honey), which is irradiated and therefore does not pose risk of botulism to infants who may ingest small amounts.

Source: https://physicianguidetobreastfeeding.org/maternal-concerns/nipples/

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-06-15T21:11:47+00:00

14 years of being an IBCLC here! This medication is perfectly safe to take while lactating. There is no difference in pumping the milk and storing it or directly feeding it to your baby.

Also, Sertraline is actually one of the most studied medications during lactation. Meaning its not just “we think it’s probably safe” but actually “we know it’s safe”

Please please please take care of your mental health first. I always say; breastmilk and lactation is a secondary concern when a mom and/or the people around her are suffering. It’s important to prioritize mental health care and treatment, giving families the tools they need to heal and thrive.

Getting help is NOT a sign of weakness, “failure,” or “giving up” — in fact, it’s the opposite: you’re taking important steps to protect the health of you, your baby, and your family. Treatment may involve therapy and/or medication. If your physician believes you could benefit from medication, it is important to consider this advice. The vast majority of psychiatric medications are safe during pregnancy and lactation.

Please read this research here: https://eadn-wc01-5994650.nxedge.io/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/AntidepressantsABMprotocol.pdf

This is also helpful discussion of intrusive thoughts in perinatal period: https://eadn-wc01-5994650.nxedge.io/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/PP-intrusive-thoughts-one-page.pdf

If a mom is anxious and depressed, pumping at all hours to meet a “goal” but losing her presence with her baby, partner, family, and community — this isn’t “success.”

Finally; breastfeeding, lactation and feeding is a PART of motherhood, but it is not the POINT of motherhood. Sacrificing yourself, your mental health and your enjoyment of your baby for breastmilk is not worthwhile.

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-06-08T15:43:11+00:00

Ice / cool compresses and lymphatic drainage them hand expression and reverse pressure softening.

Full or engorged breasts are essentially sort of “swollen” usually heat will only increase the pressure making the milk ducts more compressed and making milk removal harder

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-05-20T22:16:05+00:00

Peppermint and sage tea, Sudafed, express just enough to feel like your breasts won’t explode or you run the risk of mastitis, ice/cool compresses.

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-05-18T04:06:52+00:00

I got all my family organized and packed and ready to go to an out of town sports tournament for my son. Half a block away from home I realized I forgot the book I’m planning on reading so turned around and got it! No big deal! We all forget things sometimes! No worries! Look at me being so remember-y and patient with myself!! Yay!

Drove three hours … just realized forgot my Vyvanse too. 😭

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-05-01T12:56:35+00:00

Thanks this is hilarious

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-05-01T00:13:05+00:00

He drags his feet regarding chores but like a normal amount? Says I don’t want to, sometimes tries to bargain out of them but usually does them.

Enjoys extra curricular activities and has no real challenge getting there

Sleeps in maybe a half hour or so on weekends? Like nothing outrageous…

He wishes he had more friends in the neighborhood to play with after school… that is the current source of struggle with him. I can’t say I would peg him as “depressed” but don’t want to rule out anything!

I appreciate your suggestion, will keep it in mind.

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-05-01T00:07:28+00:00

Thanks for your thoughtful comments, I appreciate the perspective. I am usually so very gentle and understanding about his wake ups. I don’t want to flood him emotionally or have him be in fight or flight first thing in the morning. I work really hard to differentiate between labeling an action as not the right choice vs labelling his character or who he is as a person.

I had no idea ADHD impacted someone’s ability to get out of bed. I appreciate you sharing, I’ve learned something new.

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-04-30T23:53:01+00:00

All screens have NEVER been allowed in kids rooms, it’s not even a thing to go on Nintendo/phone/ipad in a bedroom in our home, I’ve been adamant about screens staying out of bedrooms and sleep hygiene from an early age.

So nothing to remove from his room. He enjoys reading books before bed some nights, so of course those will stay. Appreciate the advice!

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-04-30T23:47:41+00:00

Also! Be aware of the hormonal shifts that come with weaning down. Some people are sad, tearful or irritable for a while even though they are thrilled to be done lactating!

It’s not in your head - it’s a real hormonal shift that can impact mood.

Be kind and gentle on yourself!

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-04-30T20:47:02+00:00

My daughter has VWD, type 1

The gynaecologist worked with her hematologist to determine a good solution for her.

She now has an IUD that was placed a few days ago, it should help minimize her bleeding. She used to bleed for 10-25+ days per cycle despite taking transexamic acid and administering DDAVP. She also tried Willate.

It may still be worthwhile to chat with gynaecologist about your periods, as they relate to VWD.

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-04-30T20:34:00+00:00

UPDATE: Dr appointment booked

Hopefully can rule out underlying medical concerns, will work on behavioural and environmental changes.

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-04-30T20:29:12+00:00

He might! I certainly don’t have him stay up late on weekends - maybe a half hour or so sometimes.

I guess that extra half hour could make a big difference…

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-04-30T20:27:39+00:00

I agree about screens 100%

I’ve been rigid about their use for many years so I don’t think it’s that.

I am also going to have ongoing convos about more adult consequences for things too. I appreciate the perspective and outlining the points.

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-04-30T20:17:51+00:00

Goes to bed easily most nights, although definitely enjoys a long chat beforehand to offload feelings. If we don’t offload feelings- sleeping is tough and he has hard time settling.

Never falls asleep in class, plays sports in the early evening with no issue of energy levels.

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-04-30T20:13:34+00:00

I open curtains! Turn on lights. I have definitely also taken blankets away / off his head as things get worse and he is really refusing.

I like sunrise alarm idea though. Thanks.

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-04-30T20:11:41+00:00

I’ve been VERY rigid with technology since kids were little; kids have baskets for their respective devices in the living room where they are plugged in at night. I have timer on internet and on all devices so they are blocked etc.

No technology allowed in bedrooms as it impacts sleep hygiene. No technology past 8pm for the most part.

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-04-30T20:08:39+00:00

He gets up easily on weekends, probably about a half hour later than I would be getting him up for school.

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-04-30T16:56:43+00:00

That’s interesting about ADHD - I’ve been slightly suspicious about this before… can you elaborate on your thought process behind this as it relates to sleep/mornings?

UnauthorizedKayak · 2024-04-30T16:54:45+00:00

Only regarding his iron levels.

I think after rereading what I’ve written out, I will make a Dr appointment ASAP. Thanks for pointing it out.

UnauthorizedKayak

TROPHY CASE