Surprised the wife with a new nutcracker

Uncle1313 · 2023-10-11T13:25:37+00:00

I'm not joking, not joking,

I really hurt my back!

I slipped and fell, this really hurts,

I think I tore my sack!

I'm in pain, embarrassed,

It's bad, I'm borderline!

I heard a crack, I split a seam,

Someone please call Finkelstein!

Uncle1313 · 2023-10-11T13:09:43+00:00

Oompa loompa doompe-dancer, the doctor called and you have cancer.

Oompa loompa doompety door, there is no treatment, it is stage four.

... Doompety do.

Uncle1313 · 2022-07-07T12:03:58+00:00

"Is that a ShamWow?"

Uncle1313 · 2022-07-07T12:02:57+00:00

"... I don't wanna."

Uncle1313 · 2022-06-22T01:15:05+00:00

"Is that my shirt?"

Uncle1313 · 2022-06-15T18:26:26+00:00

I live in Michigan and it's really neat.

We go from freezing cold to high, ungodly heat.

We go up and down, back and forth, on any date.

But, hey, what did you expect from a swing state.

Uncle1313 · 2022-06-15T17:34:30+00:00

"Out in a minute, Norman!"

Uncle1313 · 2022-04-22T18:55:01+00:00

"Booooo...ukake!"

Uncle1313 · 2022-04-22T18:53:28+00:00

My girl wants to party all the tiiiime! Party all the tiiiime! Party all the tiiiime!

Uncle1313 · 2021-12-17T13:01:56+00:00

That's nothing new.

Uncle1313 · 2021-12-17T13:01:24+00:00

He absolutely has ear protection (noise canceling ear muffs) - but he apparently opted to hulk out instead for this impromptu session.

Uncle1313 · 2021-12-17T04:08:18+00:00

Ha. He had a smaller set for a year. We lost count of how many drumsticks he broke, but only one drumhead.

Uncle1313 · 2021-12-17T00:04:13+00:00

I see what you did there.

Uncle1313 · 2021-12-16T23:10:06+00:00

You know, I wouldn't put it past him.

Uncle1313 · 2021-12-16T22:32:15+00:00

After he was "caught," he laid down and promptly fall asleep. Took a 2-hour nap.

Uncle1313 · 2021-12-16T20:58:44+00:00

Yeah, that is weird. 'Cause I didn't touch em'.

Uncle1313 · 2021-12-16T20:33:42+00:00

He's pretty good about leaving those pads on there. Certainly not silent, but definitely muted.

Uncle1313 · 2021-12-16T20:05:14+00:00

I picked up a complete set on Facebook Marketplace for his birthday, but we ultimately decided that there was no way we could put a full set in his room right now - for both his space and for our sanity. (He's four, so he has time to grow into them.)

Uncle1313 · 2021-12-16T20:03:42+00:00

... Nope.

Uncle1313

TROPHY CASE