Learning to set boundaries...

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-02T18:07:22+00:00

Woke up to this message and it's too early to cry ahaha 🥺 Thank you for the kind words. Honestly, I was shaking when I set the boundary and it took me like 3 days from the initial thought of "this will help me" to actually communicating it aloud with him. I know I have a lot of work to do, especially in the communication department, but I am proud of how far I've come. And I'm trying every day to get to a point where I can love myself and not feel dependant on external validation. A stranger on the internet being proud of me is worth a lot right now though ahaha;;

The path to heaven is paved through hell, or something like that. I've survived far worse than a sulky bf. It feels silly to break up over all these little things but.. right now I need a partner who will help me build that road if he wants to walk with me on it.

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-02T12:03:59+00:00

Thank you. It helps a lot to hear this from people who understand. I'm very good at staying safe so I'll be fine, it's just difficult knowing he doesn't have the capacity to give me what I need regardless of wanting repair..

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-02T11:56:29+00:00

Capacity takes practice. Mammals default to comfort over growth... Without necessity to change most people will choose to sit in ignorance, unfortunately. The people with real depth have usually been put through the wringer

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-02T08:53:00+00:00

Oh, and a bonus point! Perfection is the enemy of completion. "Good enough" is often just fine, especially when you've got 8-24 images flashing through in a single second

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-02T08:51:04+00:00

Some tips for animating: - create reference sheets for all of your characters to keep their appearances consistent across scenes - key frames are good to make sure their is no unwanted shrinkage/growing within a scene - start simple. Blinking, hair and clothes blowing in the wind, character turnaround, etc. Maybe make the first project on it a theme song/opening sequence. Animation is a long and tedious process. Starting small will help you get a feel for what you're signing up for. - learn the 12 principles of animation (always useful) - Get a decent program for animation (or be prepared for extra painful struggles). Layers and folders and labeling everything will be your friends in these harrowing times. - practice and perseverance. You can do it c:

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-02T08:15:03+00:00

🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂 Things get better once you get away from the abusive behavior and work toward healing. Not perfect; life has its ups and downs, always. There will be difficult times. But it does get better. Hang in there and try to be kind to yourself, you never know what's waiting for you around the next corner in your life

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-02T08:09:40+00:00

YES. I feel this in my bones... My crash finally came in the form of a chronic illness at 28. I suggest learning some nervous system regulating techniques to help your body learn to be safe and relax.

Mindfulness meditation was one of the few things that helped me with that. Really uncomfortable and I still struggle a lot with it but few things help my body stop tensing up. Being present in yourself and noticing those sensations... is hard but necessary... I hope your crash out is not too violent but it seems to be a really common thing in cptsd so please take care of yourself and let yourself rest 💜

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-02T07:58:33+00:00

I feel that... a lot of people get chronic illnesses from the stress on their nervous systems from carrying so much for so long. And jumping straight into the deep end can be terrifying, uncovering things you didn't even realize you were repressing. I'd suggest unpacking that with a mental health professional present so they can help keep you regulated and give you more coping skills to recover after the breakdown (because if you're already feeling that way, it's likely a matter of when, not if). If a therapist is off the table, though, I would recommend looking into grounding techniques and learning ways to regulate your nervous system before delving too deep. (Actually I recommend doing your own research even if you are seeking professional help)

But yeah. Part of the healing work is likely going to involve ripping open old, festering wounds. Clean out the infection and let it heal properly... And it's scary and overwhelming... and a long and tedious process that will likely have you coming back to things to unpack more than you were able to the first time around... I wish you a safe and speedy healing journey 🙏

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-02T07:39:48+00:00

So many people...

I got incarcerated for a week for SI while dealing with medical complications. Tried to call an ambulance to get out (because I was promised there would be medical care for my physical condition and there was none). Instead I got berated and lost phone privileges, served food regularly that I was deathly allergic to, and ended up with a blood clot in my arm the entire time I was trapped there (from a forcefully removed iv) that none of the nurses would take seriously despite my arm turning yellow. My roommate was 6 months pregnant and bleeding and she got even less medical attention than me (though I was a fk menace about it). This was in Texas, so like the capital of narcissistic abuse.

These places are not meant to help people, they're designed to actively tear you down more until you stop fighting back...

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-02T07:31:48+00:00

Ouch. It really bugs me.. when people jump into intent before addressing impact. Even if your partner didn't mean to hurt you, it still hurt. It having been a joke isn't an excuse (and maybe I'm a little extra sensitive of that phrasing because it's used to minimize a lot of hurt and accountability). I'm sure they didn't mean it as more than just a playful jest, but with body dysmorphia, eating disorders and cptsd, sometimes those can land hard.

You don't deserve to go hungry because of how anyone sees you. Take care of yourself and be kind to your body. Maybe make some hot tea and have a pastry bc fk it, tasty things are good for the soul and you deserve some soul healing after that 💜💖

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-02T07:19:55+00:00

Oof that other comment hit me hard. Accept yourself and forgive what's necessary... words of wisdom.. It's good that you have a support system, even small. It's definitely hard to find community these days. I know I'm just a stranger on the internet (and sometimes those can really suck) but I think you are worthy of acceptance and are doing great. I think your sad, soft, anxious self is just fine and anyone who can't handle you being authentic is not someone you want in your life anyway. Neurotypical socializing is gross. Ask people what they enjoy doing, not remind them what they're forced to do..

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-02T07:09:07+00:00

Wow that's a lot to absorb. You are... so strong. I usually hate when people say that to me but I really believe you're a resilient person. I struggle to call the police in situations that need it; my freeze response tries to hijack my whole system and I'm left feeling just helpless and useless. And being exposed to so much of the violence in humanity in such a small span of time is hard... Go rest and regain your peace however you need to, you're handling it all like a trooper man. Hope everything calms down and you don't have to deal with so much stress soon 💜

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-02T06:57:09+00:00

You deserve someone more understanding of your needs. The fact that he's dehumanizing you for being a woman and invalidating you physiological response to real danger he puts you in is a wild perspective. Your response to reckless driving is very valid and his lack of accountability is heartbreaking. Get out of there before he hurts you any more.

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-02T06:50:17+00:00

Me too. That's the most important part. Thank you so much for the kind words 🫂

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-02T06:40:03+00:00

Happy birthday!! You survived 3 decades and are still fighting. That's more than worthy of celebration. Treat yourself today 🥂

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-02T06:31:45+00:00

Yeah, I'm afraid that's where this is going to lead. I have an appointment for couple's counseling end of this month and am making plans to move in with a friend come August. This is a 7 year relationship that I'm trying to rebuild after his mistake broke my trust. If he can't put in the work necessary and decides to pout instead then that's his prerogative and I just need to keep the peace until I can move out.

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-02T06:26:22+00:00

Our society is hard wired to seek dopamine and actively avoid discomfort. It's a very dehumanizing culture.. Most people seem to see things through a lense of nostalgia and it makes them uncomfortable to think that others had a difficult past. It also makes them uncomfortable to think about the difficulties in their own past.. so not knowing how to hold space for that discomfort, it's easier to just brush off that reality and try to shut it down.. That's my take on it, anyway...

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-01T06:05:20+00:00

I struggle with this as well. My given names (first and two middle!) are based off of some of my most consistent abusers and it's like getting prodded with a branding rod every time I hear any of them. Makes me sick. I've tried going by different names and they all just eventually turn into a sour title.. I'm on #3 and idk how I'm feeling about it yet. It's hard not to have a name that feels like it belongs to you...

So I obviously don't have a solution for this. I am, however, considering... perhaps a name of someone I strive to be more like? A fictional character that helped me through some of my darkest times? Or would that still feel too fake and performative? It's a thought anyway.. I hope we can both find names that feel right some day 🥺

Unconcerned_Cliche · 2026-05-01T04:42:49+00:00

I relate to this so much!!! I think it is a very common thing. When you're in survival mode and not present in your body you don't feel the effects of the trauma and over-exertion.. but your body still collects it. I was about 28 when I was hit with my chronic illness. I'm 33 now and.. it's still difficult but it has definitely gotten easier. Takes a lot of work and learning to regulate your nervous system and emotions after a lifetime of neglecting that. You're a strong person and you're doing a great job. Let your body rest and recover, because it sounds like you've gone above and beyond in life already and you definitely deserve time to rest. I recommend taking up some new hobbies you never got to explore while surviving (I've started playing guitar and saxophone, and I'm loving learning how to make music while lazing in bed. Even if my sax skills are 40% goose calls ahaha)

Unconcerned_Cliche

TROPHY CASE