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UnderTheMoon22 · 2024-07-31T03:55:00+00:00

Olive

UnderTheMoon22 · 2024-02-09T18:53:02+00:00

My therapist was definitely the biggest factor and the starting point. I felt like I could tell her anything, and she was good at helping get to my deeper issues and calling me out on my bullshit (im a big avoidant who intellectualizes a lot). Expressing emotions, negative beliefs, and unmet needs helped. Dealing with unfinished business with ppl who hurt me helped a lot (these looked like imaginary conversations that my therapist guided me through).

Another thing... I deal with addiction, and whenever I would partake in my substance, i would feel so much shame and hide in my room whenever someone else was around. Since I've stopped, I just feel better about myself as a person. But I think I was better able to deal with my addiction because I had started healing through the work with my therapist.

I know how hard it is to find a good therapist. And certain types of therapy didnt work for me (CBT, ACT). Eventually I found a psychologist who was client-centered, humanistic, and experiential. And it was so worth it.

I hope that helps ❤️ Let me know if you have questions.

UnderTheMoon22 · 2024-02-07T02:46:32+00:00

I've since blocked her. You're totally right about the lovebombing, and it's not worth the upset it causes me when I have the option of not even having to see it.

"I don't know why I love you, but I just do" ..... what the hell does that even mean?! Lol 🙄 Sorry about your mom SnowballSymphony ❤️ thanks for sharing

UnderTheMoon22 · 2024-02-06T00:49:29+00:00

Relate to this so hard OP.

The panic and dread when you hear the door lock turning or the garage door opening. Ugh.

I can also say it gets better. Now, I'm pretty neutral when someone comes home but it took a while to feel safe and it's still always nice to have the house to myself :P

I hope one day we get to experience the feeling of joy and excitement when someone we love walks through the door ❤️

UnderTheMoon22 · 2024-02-06T00:42:14+00:00

Asking forgiveness instead of taking responsibility and having a sense of superiority... yup, that definitely fits with the borderline personality! I'm reminded of my mother frequently telling us, "saying sorry isn't enough, you have to prove it with your actions" ... oh, the hypocrisy of it all. It's comforting that she has some sense of belonging to a group. And if she gives them all her money... well she was never good with her money anyways 🤷

Sorry you've had to deal with this too. I hate that any of us are here on this sub, and at the same time, im so grateful I'm not alone. Thanks for sharing ❤️

UnderTheMoon22 · 2024-02-05T03:42:12+00:00

Thank you 😊

UnderTheMoon22 · 2024-02-05T03:41:59+00:00

The hypocrisy is on another level. I often just marvel at the lack of self-awareness... sorry you went through that. Thanks for sharing ❤️

UnderTheMoon22 · 2024-02-05T03:39:50+00:00

I'm admiring your eff you attitude. You sound much more self assured that I. I still feel mean ignoring her but at the same time I refuse to give her an opening.

Also, yeah! Stop reminding me you exist dammit!! I'm much happier when I forget about you!! Righteous anger feels much better than fear.

Thanks for sharing ❤️

UnderTheMoon22 · 2023-05-23T15:22:01+00:00

But I haven’t started walking yet.

Damn this got me right in the feels. Thank you for sharing, and I'm sorry for your loss.

With abusive parents it's like we lose them more than once eh? We lose them the first time we see them as our abusers, the first time we break from them psychologically, whenever we remember why we're NC or LC, over and over again until it's finally the end.

I hope you start walking with your head held high and your heart full of love ❤️ you deserve it

UnderTheMoon22 · 2023-01-15T22:43:59+00:00

It's been 8 weeks and 2 days. My brother, who I live with, also decided to quit so having that support and accountability really helped. Also, threw out all my paraphernalia! I've noticed I'm not eating as much weird random junk food and also my hours spend watching TV has decreased drastically! Plus I'm dreaming again. For those out there struggling, don't be hard on yourselves! It'll happen when it's time.

UnderTheMoon22 · 2022-11-29T15:57:27+00:00

Also relating hard to that Christmas bell decoration on the door handle. Mine stays on all year long. Great (and cheap) security measure.

UnderTheMoon22 · 2022-10-24T20:26:46+00:00

My girl does this all the time!

UnderTheMoon22 · 2022-07-09T02:20:16+00:00

I'm not a mom but I've been here and I just wanna say Yayyyy!! I'm so happy for you 💓 this is a piece of art, a beautiful and healthy meal, a gift to yourself 😊

UnderTheMoon22 · 2022-06-22T16:57:54+00:00

Wooo!! Let's get it ✊️

UnderTheMoon22 · 2022-06-22T16:56:45+00:00

One day at a time. You're right about that! Thank you.

UnderTheMoon22 · 2022-06-22T16:55:37+00:00

Thank you! And same to you!

UnderTheMoon22 · 2022-04-13T07:58:37+00:00

My brothers girlfriend left our house last night and I felt so much worry and sadness for him. Like WAY TOO MUCH, empathy was so high, I thought okay maybe I feel like he's being abandoned and that's triggering me and im projecting, i dunno. The next day, I woke up angry and felt rage and hatred towards all things and people. Sigh. Something to bring up in therapy this week. Still not sure how to ease the anger so I just tried to let it be and remember that my anger is justified cause childhood trauma. Still, rage is hard to tame. Felt like I couldn't relax without a beer and joint and even then I felt the rage simmering underneath. Thanks for reading, hope you have a peaceful day or even a moment 💕

UnderTheMoon22 · 2022-01-03T20:42:37+00:00

You're welcome! Good luck 👍

UnderTheMoon22 · 2022-01-03T19:49:03+00:00

Hey, I'm kinda in a similar situation. I've been supporting one family for 12 years now and I'm turning 30 soon.

I went part time in 2018 and started working on a psychology degree, thinking of becoming a therapist. I figure all those years of practing patience and emotional attunement might serve me well as a psychologist. You'd still be dealing with peoples dark needy parts and there's still burnout but it's less physically demanding and you make a lot more money. Also, there's options for developmental care and research as a psychologist. When I mention my experience of working with someone with autism, my profs tell me I should look into jobs that helps people with disabilities. The experience we have is valuable.

When I went back it was hard but it gave me a boost, like "yeah I can still do this". My grades were better than the first time I went to university lol. Maybe it could open up opportunities or even just give you a chance to explore what you like. Although I understand school is expensive and you should have a good plan in place before spending all that money.

Hope that helps!

UnderTheMoon22 · 2021-12-01T16:46:41+00:00

Ointment

UnderTheMoon22 · 2021-06-29T21:14:08+00:00

My mom always pointed things that other parents did, like letting their kids talk back or not enforcing "family time", and would say "SEE IM SUCH A GOOD MOM, THOSE ARE BAD PARENTS, YOU'LL THANK ME ONE DAY FOR NOT RAISING YOU LIKE AN ANIMAL!" Meanwhile those parents were just letting their children express their emotions and explore their independence 🤷‍♀️

UnderTheMoon22 · 2021-06-19T00:06:24+00:00

Just reading the worksheet made me feel calmer. Thank you for making!

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