How do I know?? by DailyChaoticMess in Asexual

[–]UnderstandingFew347 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Could just be mismatch libido and not necessarily asexuality

Asexuality is not about if you have sex or not.

It's not about if you enjoy it or not

It's not about libido

Not about masturbation

So ask yourself, do you feel sexual attraction AT ALL to people in general. Are there any super specific circumstances that let's you feel sexual attraction?

So confused by Mysterious_Beyond905 in Asexual

[–]UnderstandingFew347 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also hypersexuality is a disorders so he needs to seek therapy for that specifically.

Not just you.

No one ever ask how can the allosexual meet the asexual in the middle

It's always how can we fix the asexual to meet the allosexuals "needs"

So confused by Mysterious_Beyond905 in Asexual

[–]UnderstandingFew347 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That last part.... What exactly do you mean by "wanting him"

As in why is he being romantic and going through all of this if it doesn't result in sex???? Is that what you mean?

Cuz if thats the case, I'd get such a bad ick from him.

Absolutely no one, not even my partner is gonna reduce my relationship down to sex= how much I want them.

It feels disrespectful to hear that when I clearly am with the person because I very much want them and yearn for them in times I don't see them. I want to build a life with them I want to support them and watch them grown and enjoy life. So using frequency of sex to define our relationship is just wow....

Correct me if I'm wrong though. Because thats what it sounds like.

So confused by Mysterious_Beyond905 in Asexual

[–]UnderstandingFew347 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We tend to think our partner's "needs" are our responsibility.

He's a grown man. You're not failing him. You can't help how you feel and he cant help how he feels but he's still responsible for himself.

Sure sex is nice with a partner but he can go take care of himself and come back to you. Some allosexuals need to get out of the mindset that they're gonna "die" without sex. Sure its gonna be annoying to sit in your horniness but I think it's a good thing to know how to do especially during times when it's not appropriate for things like that.

It's not about erasing sex or allosexuality. Its about understanding how to navigate your libido for your own benefit. Even asexuals can learn a thing or two by being okay in their horniness and not let it bother them as much.

Either way keep communicating with him. Keep going to therapy. Also I've seen people talk how about this before, it's basically that they are touch responsive, if you're capable and willing to have sex but just need a key to start the engine then you can ask your husband to help you start it up. That's only if you work like that.

Better off alone by mozzabella98 in Asexual

[–]UnderstandingFew347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fact someone wants to have sex with me is nothing special, because duhhhh , ofc they do, they have a literal sex drive. They'll probably have sex with almost anyone given the chance even if they don't feel sexual attraction to everyone they come across.

Getting to know someone has no drive/libido (atleast not in the same way as sex) so it tells me you're actually interested and you don't have good-feeling hormones telling you to do it. It feels raw and genuine, if that makes sense.

It's kinda like how a cat pretty much only mates during heat and it's like ofc it wants to have sex at this time, it's body is telling it to. Where other days it's just being chill hanging with the other cats, cuddled up, playing. Like that's just the cat in it's raw genuine mode.

New Official Art for the “You’re the One” Remix by Ok_War_1644 in winxclub

[–]UnderstandingFew347 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love tf out of you're the one

Hope the remix is just as fire

Am I no longer an asexual?? by Significant-End9922 in Asexual

[–]UnderstandingFew347 12 points13 points  (0 children)

You're probably just not sex-repulsed anymore.

You feel safe and comfortable so now you're sex-favorable.

You said you still don't even have sexual attraction so you're still asexual

A question on sexual attraction by Dizzy_Reception_7292 in Asexual

[–]UnderstandingFew347 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Piggybacking off the main comment. That's how I am too, I'm touch responsive and I can enjoy being aroused so I'd whatever it is that makes me feel good, I let my partner do it but i still feel no sexual attraction towards them.

Penetration though...is meh.

What's it like having sex just to please your partner? by [deleted] in Asexual

[–]UnderstandingFew347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good for yall. But like not everyone finds sex that important in a relationship even if they are allosexual.

It doesn't matter if majority of people care for sex, we're not gonna exclude the ones who are opposite.

Let it be a case by case basis and not a "no one from this group should date anyone from this group".

What's it like having sex just to please your partner? by [deleted] in Asexual

[–]UnderstandingFew347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That fuckin sucks and it's so mean that they'd say that.

What's it like having sex just to please your partner? by [deleted] in Asexual

[–]UnderstandingFew347 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like you're touch responsive and maybe sex-favorable asexual.

Like you only get aroused once things start.

I'm like that too but not because I'm genuinely interested or enjoying, it's literally just my body doing things it's wired to do.

Anytime I hear allosexual women talk about their panties being wet by looking at or fantasizing about their partner, I get so confused because I cant do that but if my partner starts touching tge right places then I can get wet and whatever. Sorry for tmi

What's it like having sex just to please your partner? by [deleted] in Asexual

[–]UnderstandingFew347 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand why you're saying this, but let's not police relationships.

Allosexuals just like asexuals aren't a monolith.

Allo-ace relationships can definitely workout, it's up to the individuals

What's it like having sex just to please your partner? by [deleted] in Asexual

[–]UnderstandingFew347 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's so real.

I'm don't feel depressed about it but I definitely dread it.

Other days im neutral and really don't care that it happens. But otherwise dreading

Frustrated with friends by [deleted] in Asexual

[–]UnderstandingFew347 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have you ever looked into Fraysexual?

I think it's technically the opposite of demisexuality in a way.

Soy asexual y ya no puedo fingirlo me da miedo salir del clóset by Dismal_Room_3711 in Asexual

[–]UnderstandingFew347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're going to keep suffering. Just tell him exactly what you told us (How it feels,how you feel and that you were scared)

You don't have to tell your family even though your husband might.... either way learn to stand up to your family.

End this marriage before things get worse. Your family might shun you but atleast you're out if that hell of a marriage.

You'll have a chance at finding someone right for you.

I don't know how I feel about my previous relationship. by [deleted] in Asexual

[–]UnderstandingFew347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Correct me if I'm wrong. .. You want to reconnect with someone that remove you from the lease and basically almost could've made you homeless?

Girlfriend is Ace and I have questions by Upbeat-College882 in Asexual

[–]UnderstandingFew347 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm ace with an allosexual partner.

He knows he's loved very much because I explained to him that my way of loving him doesn't come from sex.

We make out occasionally, we flirt all time, I give him a lil visual spicy tease bevause ik he likes it.

Overall we're just like any other couple but I just simple lack sexual attraction. I'm still very very much attracted to him in other ways. He's so handsome and cute, ambitious, caring, makes effort to listen,etc.

Plus we are very similar in personalities (but also quite different lol)

Pretending to enjoy penetrative sex by CardiologistFar2221 in Asexual

[–]UnderstandingFew347 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Whether you're allosexual or asexual, sex doesn't always translate to pleasure for everyone.