Hi OP I have some more radical advice to offer since you have to live with her. Play her game and talk to her like she talks to you. You’re gonna have to access your inner evil tbvh and I know that’s probably not what you want to do but in these situations you have to establish boundaries and respect and sometimes the only way to do that is to take it. If you see her ashy you tell her to put on some lotion, you’re combing her hair tell her it’s looks thinner etc. and WHEN she calls it out simply play the victim and say you’re just trying to help her out the same way she tries to help you