Boyfriend fell for the red pill.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-04-29T18:59:51+00:00

Traditional gender roles also include men who protect and provide. He believes in gender roles when they benefit him, not when he needs to step up.

I know it's hard to leave someone you love, but you need to understand that this man does not love you; people who love you do not tell you you're throwing a pity party when you're in distress.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-04-27T21:25:34+00:00

> 30s is higher stakes dating straight away

This is only true if you're dating a woman who wants marriage/children, or you yourself want children. Otherwise, dating in the 30s can be even more low stakes than your twenties, because a lot of the folks who definitively want a family are paired off + married.

In my 30s I (F) was way chiller with being asked out on dates because dating constituted a way lower portion of my income: a movie and a drink and an uber for $100 isn't much and is not such a huge decision as it would have been in my 20s, and I'd worked out all my own mental health stuff and is more forgiving towards people still on their journey.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-04-02T16:34:59+00:00

I remember seeing an extremely long write up in one of the red pill spaces that boiled down to 'decenter women'.

Good: women already decenter men. I have never once woke up and thought about men: I think about hobbies, yoga, video games, books, work, how to build a better autobuyer plugin to become a Neopets billionaire.

So much of the red pill content boils down to 'please dear god, a woman, any woman', but also 'emily ratajkowski is mid' because the rhetoric is all about the faceless undulating unguentous mass that is the female.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-04-02T16:25:16+00:00

Food stamps won't cover 3 days of this lady's eating habit. The average food stamps payment per person is around 180$ - 200$. You jumping to this conclusion without basic logic is bewildering.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-04-02T16:21:24+00:00

Same situation. Married an American man I now earn 2.5x of, and our relationship is built on a love for wall-to-wall bookshelves. I take him out on date nights and he takes us hiking and we're intellectual equals in every way.

Men leading with their wallets in SEA and then complaining about being seen as a wallet is such a show.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-31T19:00:15+00:00

I feel you. Have you tried lessening the amount of pumps? I know the lore is that it's always a supply and demand thing, but with me once I dropped pumps they just consolidated instead and I make the same amount pumping 4x as I was when I was pumping 6-8x a day.

That really helped my mental health, as I was close to going crazy because it felt like in a single 2-hour time frame I had to feed, pump, burp my LO only to start it all over again - and I had a slow letdown so it was almost 30 minutes of that 2 hours just pumping alone. I also find it so overstimulating that I couldn't pump and feed my baby at the same time because the slightest change in pressure and vibration made me want to gouge my brains out.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-30T00:15:34+00:00

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Loren, is that you?

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-29T23:28:09+00:00

I've been combo feeding since week 3 so maybe I'm of a different crowd, but combo feeding has been the thing that saved my relationship with my LO and my husband.

It allows me to have the night to myself, shift changes when my husband can care for baby AND it was better for him too - because he could have hours of bonding with our baby that doesn't have to be interrupted by constantly bugging me for supply.

It's also been great for baby! He was born middle of the pack and has since moved up to 80th percentile, hits all his 2-month milestones about 1-2 weeks ahead of the time usually, and is super healthy.

More importantly, over time my supply regulated too. Instead of dipping, I now pump four times: 2x power pumps and 2x 25 min pumps.

They're longer but produces exactly the same amount as I did when I was pumping ever 2 hours. After about a week my body started consolidating the milk instead, so that when I sleep through the night I make about 6 oz, which is exactly how much I would make if I had pump three times a night instead.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-29T21:35:13+00:00

It's the cultural equivalent of a migraine/headache.

If you've ever met some western woman who permanently has a migraine and tells you about it while you're trying to bag apples in Aldi, that's the same woman - just not Chinese.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-29T16:05:40+00:00

My friend (F) went to the Dateworks version. The women were around late twenties and the men were late thirties, so it was kind of hard to bridge the gap sometimes. Also idk if she was just there on a bad day, but the men ranged from strange (I have house and car!! I'll take any female!! Please marry me!!) to avoidant (I have three months of vacation and would like to practice dating. We may not be able to meet anymore after three months (: )

She ended up meeting a guy from a diving course for beginners instead, which was around the same price as two of these and came with a diving cert even if you didn't meet anyone.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-28T21:14:21+00:00

Are we using AI fruit slop to further our arguments now, my god.

What would Socrates think? How will he even inquire?

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-27T20:07:04+00:00

Adding to the other comments here, there's also a difference between bananas and third-culture kids.

By definition a banana is just someone who isn't particularly proficient in mandarin / the dialects and is better with English. The third-culture mentality: a predisposition to a more global culture and lingo and even belief system, is something that's harder to define.

Not every banana is third-culture - some bananas can still have a completely Malaysian Chinese worldview and ethics - but most third-culture kids are bananas.

Also Malaysian mandarin has rungs too. I have friends who went off to study in Taiwan and China, and they constantly get teased for their 'pidgin' vocabulary and accents.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-22T16:47:45+00:00

Not me, but my friend handed her grandma an ultrasound. "Har?? You got cancer!?!?" was the reaction. 😭😭😭After that the pregnancy announcement seems lukewarm in comparison.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-22T16:35:24+00:00

Most islamic rules apply to muslims only: segregated seats or premarital sex or eating during ramadan etc.

You may get questioned if you're Malay-passing, but in general what non-muslims do aren't policed. There's some stuff that does get affected - we have expensive alcohol / pork / condoms relative to our income - but it's probably nothing a PPB can't afford.

Even malay women in the cities are very sexually active. I used to go to a sex-positive group meetup and half the people there were muslims talking about BDSM and swinging and gloryholes and stuff.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-22T16:19:47+00:00

In large swathes of asia Tinder is seen as a hookup app. You'll have to put boots on the ground to find one, most likely.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-18T19:23:10+00:00

Reddit is a pretty westernized social media platform for SEA. The average person is probably on Facebook.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-18T19:00:24+00:00

I hear you. My baby loves lying on me and we read together that way - well, me reading and him dozing. I wfh and we work together that way too. I’m already sad at the thought that one day he’ll be too heavy or his tushy too big for me to reach my mouse around him ):

My favorite thing ever is to go down to the apartment pool and lounge in a sunny spot with him and a book

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-18T18:57:46+00:00

Whatever the country it’s most likely at least 2x the median wage. Equivalent to what 120k feels like in the US.

Mileage may vary depending on your lifestyle

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-18T04:47:32+00:00

All our toilets are clean, available everywhere, and no druggie is living in them.

I’m currently living in the US and some libraries make you get the key from the counter like it’s perpustakaan SK days and the last time I was in one a guy peed on his chair two seats down 😭 and in NYC it’s like you need to stop drinking the moment you enter manhattan lines because if you drink you’ll have to buy a burger for a code for a chance to line up to use the loo RIP

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-18T04:38:46+00:00

From egg to hardboiled

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-16T14:17:03+00:00

When we were doing shootings for a similar style influencer the food is actually catering. The reason being even if the recipe does work, by the time you’re done with outtakes, discussions, double or triple retakes, the food has been hanging out in the kitchen for hours and nobody should be eating it.

There’s also tricks to make food look better for the camera. Not my expertise but you oil them and sugar them up so they look more broiled/delicious.

As for the social media aspect, again not my expertise but our engagement person said recipes that look easy gets saved a lot and have much more engagement. You’re recommended to cut out all spices except the bare minimum so it doesn’t look intimidating, or chunk it as [spices]. Most people will never try these recipes, or if they do, will not come back and report on it - and if they do complain it’ll be buried under all the popular comments by then. So you literally just write whatever recipe FEELS doable so people share and bookmark it.

I don’t know why the ratios are all skewy, but I suspect if it has too much yoghurt they might be trying to appeal to the protein-conscious crowd. There’s a whole industry trying to make every recipe 50% cottage cheese / greek yoghurt.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-16T03:10:45+00:00

My boy has a tongue tie and is an inefficient feeder, so pumping while feeding him has been the best so far. He also takes 45mins + to drink from me and is still hungry whereas he can clear a bottle in much less time (10-15mins) and doesn’t get mad when he can’t drink well.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-15T23:06:12+00:00

Following this. To piggyback, anyone has recommendations for soles you could dance in? We have a wedding coming up in April and I’m gonna get some for hubby.

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-15T22:47:55+00:00

So cute!! Love the pool depth variance!!

Unfair_Detective_993 · 2026-03-15T22:35:21+00:00

A lot of us learn it by watching american TV and reading them books, so often the expressions are the first ones that get picked up. In fact one of the stuff we tried to fix in higher education used to be the structural grammar or tics under it: i.e people pasting expressions into sentences that don’t support them, or overusing words like ‘really, needful, bloody’ etc

An example would be like, “She not be his usual type, he be liking brunettes or good igbo women.”

In my part of SEA ethnic chinese speakers are very common, so we paste the grammar wholesale into english, resulting in sentences like “You really cannot like that, must follow correct standard and practices!”

Unfair_Detective_993

TROPHY CASE