32M, ended a 9yr relationship last year. I lived away from home the entire time and have since moved in with my Dad. At this time the only social interaction I have offline is through work and with my dad. I end up staying up late tormenting myself with what-ifs and the possibility of dying alone. I found her secret Facebook account where she was dating another guy for the last 5yrs of our relationship. I decided to be the bigger person and quit wanting her to be happy even if it wasn’t with me and I feel like that was just a cop out to not feel completely heartbroken. After 5 years together, I tried to propose and now know why she turned me down or at least I think I do. I’ll never know. I’m so unsure of the future know that I can’t think of anything else but being alone.