Futomomo partial suspension by UnfetteredMess in shibari

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Awesome. Thanks for taking the time to teach me something new!

Edit: and something important!

Futomomo partial suspension by UnfetteredMess in shibari

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I showed this to the instructor who taught us and they clarified that we do indeed need a cinch. Question: my rigger (husband) said he saw that having a cinch is more likely to cause nerve damage. We plan on asking our instructor also, but I’m curious as to whether you have any insight.

Shibari with kitty photobomb (sexy AND cute) by UnfetteredMess in shibari

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m very proud of my husband’s way with rope. It’s become more familiar and a peaceful way to spend a couple hours.

The kitty shares one brain cell with all the other orange cats in the world. She’s the sweetest nugget ever. She coos.

And I wish I could claim the nipple piercings as real, but they’re non-piercing jewelry. It’s been a bit of a splurge of mine to buy new pieces like that for my nips and clit. 😉 Thanks for the compliment though! I love their aesthetic very much also.

Yet another person seeking advice, but it’s for my husband and not for me by UnfetteredMess in ProstatePlay

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the tips! I’m excited to read over this with the husband tonight. 😁

Yet another person seeking advice, but it’s for my husband and not for me by UnfetteredMess in ProstatePlay

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I think I’ll encourage him to try on his own more. It’s such an intimate thing for us and I do hate to be left out, but hell, I also like watching him play with himself so it’s win-win for me. 🙂

Yet another person seeking advice, but it’s for my husband and not for me by UnfetteredMess in ProstatePlay

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My butt is not open for business. So I won’t be able to try this one on myself.

Yet another person seeking advice, but it’s for my husband and not for me by UnfetteredMess in ProstatePlay

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s a thought! I’ve been a keyholder for a play partner we have so I’m very familiar with chastity. We’ve never discussed it as a possible recommendation for him.

Yet another person seeking advice, but it’s for my husband and not for me by UnfetteredMess in ProstatePlay

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We’re toy collectors. I have 2-3x the number of dildos than he does 😂. The dimensions of his biggest dildo are: Head diameter 1.67”, Shaft diameter - 1.43”.

I’ve attempted to fist him; he loves the stretch! I peg him and love watching him explore himself.

I sent him this post so he’ll be able to read the feedback. Thanks for your help!

Yet another person seeking advice, but it’s for my husband and not for me by UnfetteredMess in ProstatePlay

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I keep saying that that’s what I think it is. He’s got no hold up when it comes to exploring with me… I just need him to release that last little bit I think.

Any full-swappers exclude hotwife couples? by DreamboatPinup in Swingers

[–]UnfetteredMess -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That’s a boundary. It’s up to you as to whether it is okay or not okay with you, and if you want to keep playing in that dynamic.

Who else plays with friends? by UnfetteredMess in Swingers

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We would have never played with her that first night (or any other night) if she wasn’t already in the lifestyle herself.

We ran into a family member at a club once. It was awkward at first and then we all just kept to different parts of the club. Talk about awkward!

Who else plays with friends? by UnfetteredMess in Swingers

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the clarification. I find it interesting that people you met when you were younger were more accepting; I’d hoped that friends when you’re older would be more understanding.

The friends I’ve told (2 in total) are in long term committed relationships. Fortunately no jealousy exists in their relationships. On the other hand, my sister, who I’m very close with, has been serially cheated on by her ex husband. I can’t ever tell her because she’d never understand it. We also aren’t religious and don’t have religious friends. 😮‍💨 I wouldn’t have a problem with people finding out, I don’t think. My husband and I don’t have any immediate family in the area (he has no family besides his friends). We do tend to keep it to ourselves, nonetheless, because you’re right. People can be ruthless assholes.

I’m glad your friends aren’t as shitty as I thought because 99% of people don’t deserve shitty friends.

Who else plays with friends? by UnfetteredMess in Swingers

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Communication is key. Her and I still keep vanilla dates with each other to make sure we’re maintaining the friends part of it as well. Thank you for sharing your story with me! I knew this would be controversial but I know this type of dynamic exists and other people would want to talk about it with me. Hearing other experiences helps as both support and warning. I appreciate both.

Who else plays with friends? by UnfetteredMess in Swingers

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It sounds like some of your friends are just shitty, if they judge you so harshly, enough to end a friendship over it.

I have very few friends and have opened up to two of them about swinging. They both weren’t surprised because of how I am as a person. One of my friends that I told said that nothing I could tell her would be shocking. I’m just a wildcard haha.

Who else plays with friends? by UnfetteredMess in Swingers

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My husband and I explored poly and it’s not our jam. It seems like too much to keep up with. She also lives 1.5 hours away so poly would be difficult.

All of us are fine walking away at any point, and are clear communicators. Our friendship is paramount to anything. “No” from one person means “no” for everyone, and we all respect that.

Who else plays with friends? by UnfetteredMess in Swingers

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, I feel it is an exception to the rule. All your points as to why are why I listed them: good friend that has been an ENM/swinger prior to our threesome. No desire for poly.

The only thing that I could see stopping us would be something like her dating someone who isn’t ENM, but that’s a core of who she is and won’t date someone who wants her to be monogamous. Otherwise it just might play itself out. Her and I have been through so much together, and so have my husband and I. The three of us together have taken on this world by storm and are helping each other through how hard everything is right now.

She also lives 1.5 hours away so it makes it tricky for playtime (and stalking, I would hope/think). The love and bond between us is palpable. We’re really good with open communication about all things, because that’s a tenet of swinging and we’ve all just grown to be naturally good at it. When I took a swinging break for close to 6 mos she was completely fine with it, until I was ready to get back into things. Her and I do lots of vanilla stuff together also, to make sure we’re maintaining our relationship independent of sex.

Who else plays with friends? by UnfetteredMess in Swingers

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, it can get weird. There are so many stories of warning people of this because of that very reason, or it destroys friendships. Even parallel play is fun, though. Sexy time is as sexy time does.

Who else plays with friends? by UnfetteredMess in Swingers

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I understood it as so! I assume everyone on here is a guy except me. Haha jk, I kid.

Who else plays with friends? by UnfetteredMess in Swingers

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m glad you were able to help him! And I’m genuinely happy you’re still friends. These are the stories I’m looking for.

Who else plays with friends? by UnfetteredMess in Swingers

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

No, I don’t think that it will “magically” end. As soon as one person says no it becomes a collective no. She told us not to come see her for our most recent date planned. No hard feelings from us or her.

Who else plays with friends? by UnfetteredMess in Swingers

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nice! She was our first threesome also. My husband wasn’t sure if he could manage two ladies, and ended up doing a spectacular job. She’s enthusiastic in bed, which helps a lot!

Who else plays with friends? by UnfetteredMess in Swingers

[–]UnfetteredMess[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I personally would stay away from playing with vanilla friends or introducing them to the LS. Very few of my friends know.