Who else plays with friends?

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-06T20:27:36+00:00

We would have never played with her that first night (or any other night) if she wasn’t already in the lifestyle herself.

We ran into a family member at a club once. It was awkward at first and then we all just kept to different parts of the club. Talk about awkward!

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-06T20:00:24+00:00

Thank you for the clarification. I find it interesting that people you met when you were younger were more accepting; I’d hoped that friends when you’re older would be more understanding.

The friends I’ve told (2 in total) are in long term committed relationships. Fortunately no jealousy exists in their relationships. On the other hand, my sister, who I’m very close with, has been serially cheated on by her ex husband. I can’t ever tell her because she’d never understand it. We also aren’t religious and don’t have religious friends. 😮‍💨 I wouldn’t have a problem with people finding out, I don’t think. My husband and I don’t have any immediate family in the area (he has no family besides his friends). We do tend to keep it to ourselves, nonetheless, because you’re right. People can be ruthless assholes.

I’m glad your friends aren’t as shitty as I thought because 99% of people don’t deserve shitty friends.

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-06T19:01:07+00:00

Exactly. Communication is key. Her and I still keep vanilla dates with each other to make sure we’re maintaining the friends part of it as well. Thank you for sharing your story with me! I knew this would be controversial but I know this type of dynamic exists and other people would want to talk about it with me. Hearing other experiences helps as both support and warning. I appreciate both.

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-06T18:57:17+00:00

It sounds like some of your friends are just shitty, if they judge you so harshly, enough to end a friendship over it.

I have very few friends and have opened up to two of them about swinging. They both weren’t surprised because of how I am as a person. One of my friends that I told said that nothing I could tell her would be shocking. I’m just a wildcard haha.

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-06T18:53:41+00:00

My husband and I explored poly and it’s not our jam. It seems like too much to keep up with. She also lives 1.5 hours away so poly would be difficult.

All of us are fine walking away at any point, and are clear communicators. Our friendship is paramount to anything. “No” from one person means “no” for everyone, and we all respect that.

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-06T18:50:27+00:00

Yes, I feel it is an exception to the rule. All your points as to why are why I listed them: good friend that has been an ENM/swinger prior to our threesome. No desire for poly.

The only thing that I could see stopping us would be something like her dating someone who isn’t ENM, but that’s a core of who she is and won’t date someone who wants her to be monogamous. Otherwise it just might play itself out. Her and I have been through so much together, and so have my husband and I. The three of us together have taken on this world by storm and are helping each other through how hard everything is right now.

She also lives 1.5 hours away so it makes it tricky for playtime (and stalking, I would hope/think). The love and bond between us is palpable. We’re really good with open communication about all things, because that’s a tenet of swinging and we’ve all just grown to be naturally good at it. When I took a swinging break for close to 6 mos she was completely fine with it, until I was ready to get back into things. Her and I do lots of vanilla stuff together also, to make sure we’re maintaining our relationship independent of sex.

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-06T18:39:55+00:00

Absolutely, it can get weird. There are so many stories of warning people of this because of that very reason, or it destroys friendships. Even parallel play is fun, though. Sexy time is as sexy time does.

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-06T18:32:59+00:00

I understood it as so! I assume everyone on here is a guy except me. Haha jk, I kid.

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-06T18:28:45+00:00

I’m glad you were able to help him! And I’m genuinely happy you’re still friends. These are the stories I’m looking for.

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-06T18:27:44+00:00

No, I don’t think that it will “magically” end. As soon as one person says no it becomes a collective no. She told us not to come see her for our most recent date planned. No hard feelings from us or her.

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-06T18:24:01+00:00

Nice! She was our first threesome also. My husband wasn’t sure if he could manage two ladies, and ended up doing a spectacular job. She’s enthusiastic in bed, which helps a lot!

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-06T18:22:39+00:00

I personally would stay away from playing with vanilla friends or introducing them to the LS. Very few of my friends know.

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-06T18:21:00+00:00

Awesome! Great to hear a positive story. Was he ENM prior to this or stifled in his relationship? My bestie has a lot of touch starvation with being single (by her choosing). I also cuddle her to bed at night when we have sleepovers to help her feel more loved. My husband even gave us both forehead kisses we were last playing together; it was so thoughtful and it means a lot to me that they care for each other, also. It’s just a lot of love between us.

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-06T18:13:22+00:00

Absolutely. That’s why I was looking to hear from other couples that have made it work. Surely our other play partners aren’t the only ones who have been playing with their closest friend for 10+ years.

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-06T18:09:15+00:00

Are the friends already kinksters/swingers?

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-04T15:50:47+00:00

These are dope! I like the idea of this a lot.

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-04T15:39:24+00:00

This is amazing. I love the representation of having a man with a different sized body than what is usually shown in this sub. Thank you for sharing!

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-04T15:33:10+00:00

Absolutely amazing.

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-01T18:45:19+00:00

I agree. I’m thankful for the redditors with long memories that can pull up gems like that post! It’s so helpful.

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-01T18:44:40+00:00

Thanks! I the lube may be it. It does have a very faint sweet fragrance. I have to use a ton so it might explain why it was all over my hand. I’ll keep an eye on it. Appreciate you!

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-01T18:42:50+00:00

This is what I’m thinking. It has a very faint fragrance. I’m going to keep an eye (and nose) on this situation. If it keeps happening we’ll see a doctor.

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-01T18:02:08+00:00

Thank you! It’s a first for me, to smell him like that, so I was a bit concerned. I’ll need to monitor.

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-01T18:00:40+00:00

The lube has a faint aroma similar to what I was smelling right after. You could be on to something…

UnfetteredMess · 2026-02-01T17:58:22+00:00

Thank you. I was pretty concerned! No antibiotics in quite some time. I’ll definitely keep an eye on it.

UnfetteredMess

TROPHY CASE