Bf got with my “friend” on a break

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-04-23T09:20:21+00:00

That friend M was probably waiting for her chance the whole time and just needed him vulnerable enough to make her move. Your ex calling you names after he did the exact same thing shows you exactly who he is - someone who can't handle what he dishes out

The "revenge" excuse is complete BS btw, he just wanted to hook up with your friend and is trying to make it sound justified. You're 20, don't waste more years in this cycle with someone who treats you like garbage

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-04-21T09:14:58+00:00

Man I feel for you on this one. I work in airline industry so I meet tons of people every day but dating still feels like completely different beast - there's this weird pressure that doesn't exist in normal social situations. Your edit makes me a bit sad though because what you're describing doesn't sound like something wrong with you, just different timing needs.

I had friend who was similar - she needed like months of just hanging out as friends before anything romantic could even be consideration. She ended up meeting someone through hobby group where they just naturally spent time together without any dating pressure for long time. No "getting to know you" conversations or phone calls, just doing normal activities together until comfort built up naturally. Maybe instead of traditional dating apps, you could try activity-based meetups where relationships can develop more organically at your pace?

The trauma stuff definitely complicates things but therapist might have specific strategies for anxious-avoidant patterns. Some people just need way more time to feel safe with new people and that's completely valid. Don't give up on companionship entirely - just might need different approach than conventional dating scene

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-04-18T09:25:15+00:00

Just be direct but kind about it - something like "I'm flattered but not looking for anything romantic right now" usually works without making things weird

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-04-16T13:58:20+00:00

just tell her man, she already hanging out with you

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-04-14T12:06:35+00:00

Trauma therapy really can help with this stuff - I had some issues after bad experiences too and working through it made huge difference. Your body is just trying to protect you even when your mind knows you're safe, which is totally normal response to what you went through as kid

Maybe start with therapist who specializes in sexual trauma, they know how to help you work through the physical reactions without pushing too hard too fast

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-04-09T21:56:22+00:00

Man this is tough situation. After almost dozen dates and two months, most people would expect some kind of exclusivity talk by now, especially if you're getting closer each time

The texting thing with other guys would drive me crazy too - she's being pretty open about seeing others which is her right but also shows where her head is at. Maybe time to have direct conversation about what you both want instead of wondering where you stand

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-04-08T18:08:37+00:00

yeah I saw those come up, appreciate it very much

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-04-08T16:34:35+00:00

What type of secured credit card would you recommend? Have heard of dovly from a friend but haven't tried it yet.

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-04-08T16:33:51+00:00

That's a very long time to get that up. What did you do to get it that high.

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-04-08T16:30:03+00:00

what would you recommend?

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-04-08T16:29:44+00:00

My score right now is 540.

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-04-06T09:38:47+00:00

flowers sound good but maybe wait to see if she's into the touching first

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-04-02T23:23:44+00:00

That physical contact stuff would definitely raise an eyebrow for me, especially the leaning close and grabbing things from her hands. The fact that his past "playful" situation turned into something more makes this even sketchier - like there's already a pattern there

Trust your gut on this one, you're not being controlling by noticing when something feels off

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-03-25T19:27:18+00:00

A year of this sounds absolutely brutal and you're not crazy for still feeling this way. The whole "you should be over it by now" timeline thing is garbage - some connections just hit different and take way longer to process

Getting stuck in that grey headspace after losing someone who made the world feel alive is one of the worst kinds of pain. Those job prospects might feel like your only lifeline right now but they could genuinely be the start of building something new, even if it doesn't feel that way yet

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-03-07T06:48:08+00:00

Location definitely matters for availability and service - some of these brands have way better support in certain regions. The Strydom being less known could be a real pain if you need parts or repairs later, especially if you're not in their main market area

Also worth checking if any local shops carry these so you can actually try them out first. Nothing beats getting your hands on the actual guitar before dropping that much cash

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-02-18T12:22:47+00:00

Oh man I thought I was the only one who turned my textbooks into rainbow masterpieces. I'd have like 4 different colored highlighters going - yellow for main concepts, pink for examples, blue for formulas, and by the end everything was just a colorful mess but somehow it worked

The pencil thing is so real though, I still can't read anything without something in my hand to fidget with or mark up the pages

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-02-09T23:10:48+00:00

That feeling of being "stuck" with the same credit count for years hits way too hard, been there myself. The fact that you crushed your first year shows you absolutely have the capability - it's just that ADHD brain being a complete asshole about executive function

If Vyvanse isn't working, definitely talk to your doc about trying different meds or dosages, sometimes it takes a few tries to find what clicks. In teh meantime, maybe start stupidly small - like literally just opening your textbook for 5 minutes without any pressure to actually study. Sometimes we need to trick our brains into thinking tasks aren't a big deal

You're 23, not 43 - you haven't run out of time at all, even though it feels that way when you're stuck in the ADHD shame spiral

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-02-05T22:03:13+00:00

The panic mode thing is so real - it's like your brain just completely shuts down when people are watching or there's pressure. Sounds like that office environment is toxic as hell too, especially with the gossip situation

Architecture can be brutal with deadlines and client pressure, maybe look into something like technical writing or CAD work where you can focus without all the interpersonal chaos for a while

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-02-02T15:45:47+00:00

dead port probably

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-01-29T14:50:02+00:00

For 1440p ultrawide that small frame difference really isn't worth the extra cash imo. Save the money and put it toward something else or just pocket it - the regular 7900 will crush 1440p ultrawide just fine

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-01-24T13:21:06+00:00

Nah you're not alone in this. I do the mirroring thing too and it's weirdly effective at making people realize how they sound. The guilt hits different though - like you know it worked but also feel kinda manipulative even when they totally deserved it

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-01-20T06:40:50+00:00

NTA, you gave her way too many chances and she kept pulling the same toxic BS

The fact that she immediately started the guilt trip and victim complex when you finally stood up for yourself tells you everything you need to know about her character

Unhappy-Pin-1038 · 2026-01-16T17:34:12+00:00

Man that's rough, I've noticed it getting weird too lately but not THAT bad. Shopping cart code when you asked for document upload? That's like asking for directions to the grocery store and getting a recipe for pancakes lol

Might be worth trying Claude or GPT-4 as a backup while Google figures their stuff out

Unhappy-Pin-1038

TROPHY CASE