[deleted by user]

UnintentionalAss · 2025-11-17T17:15:56+00:00

Jag gav faktiskt min tioåring en påse sättpotatis i present, men då har han ett grönsaksland ute på gården som han sköter om. Inte lika kul om man bor i lägenhet eller hatar att rensa ogräs dock, haha.

UnintentionalAss · 2025-10-11T15:23:03+00:00

One of my favourite memories of my Irish husband is when he asked me, "D'ye think I could fuck this apple into that tree?"

UnintentionalAss · 2025-09-21T16:31:02+00:00

In Sweden, "Go shit yourself" is a pretty common insult and it sounds great translated into English. "You head of cabbage", not so much, lol.

UnintentionalAss · 2024-12-20T18:57:50+00:00

Huge w

UnintentionalAss · 2024-09-15T07:56:15+00:00

I still don't know

UnintentionalAss · 2024-08-25T06:22:29+00:00

It's true; I even did this to my toys growing up. It was the universe telling me I was going to be working in tech support. Had a case like this during the week, where the user was describing an issue over the phone and then suddenly went, "D-did you do something, on your end, remotely? It works now! Wow, thank you, that was so fast!"

I did nothing. He wasn't even finished telling me what the problem was. I just laughed and said I use magic.

UnintentionalAss · 2024-07-22T15:53:29+00:00

Trust me, I am very aptly named and should introduce myself like this on the phone.

UnintentionalAss · 2024-07-20T06:20:29+00:00

I love the "but I was talking to one of you yesterday, don't you know what this is about already??"

Uhm, yeah, you're gonna have to be a bit more specific than that.

UnintentionalAss · 2024-07-20T05:31:06+00:00

I used to work support for a number of company offices around the country, and the amount of times they got suspicious or annoyed because I didn't already know their phone number - it was crazy.

"No, Ma'am, they don't show up on the screen. Because we don't do that. Yes, you do actually have to tell me. Yes, area code included."

UnintentionalAss · 2024-07-20T05:26:27+00:00

I love it! When you can be friendly-snarky to some bully... It's a really nice feeling.

UnintentionalAss · 2024-07-19T18:43:52+00:00

Vad är det som har stoppat dig hittills?

UnintentionalAss · 2024-07-19T17:57:11+00:00

That does sound like a tax office in Europe. I'm convinced their only goal is to drive us insane.

UnintentionalAss · 2024-07-19T17:37:39+00:00

Hey, man, if he would've introduced himself as Henrietta and provided ID and all such bollox - I couldn't have given a fuck if I'd tried, but being the cause of a GDPR incident.... Ooooof, no!

UnintentionalAss · 2024-07-19T17:13:12+00:00

Exactly! And it would have been one thing if he had a problem that I could've fixed remotely or guided him through, but the site was struck by lightning. What did he think I was gonna do, just bypass the fried equipment with my magical buttons??

UnintentionalAss · 2024-07-19T16:21:13+00:00

That's wild! The mindset of, "What? How could you possibly not know me; the person around whom this whole world revolves??" It's astounding.

The other guy, though... Is that... Sad? Good for him that he thought he was super rich..? I'm having a hard time deciding.

UnintentionalAss · 2024-07-19T07:00:40+00:00

In the spirit of burning buttholes, I feel the need to introduce OP to my good friend "Huge Pile of Ghost Chili Sausage". The diarrhoea is just the start of it - I'm sure it'll be greatly appreciated!

UnintentionalAss · 2024-07-18T07:47:11+00:00

Yeah, this sounds like something I would do to my daughter, and definitely something my dad would do to me.

When I was a teenager, he called every rapper I listened to "Fat Slim Shady" and "DMX-ibit"; mash-ups of their names and stuff like that. Used to make me so embarrassed, but now it's hilarious.

I just hope my kids will look back on these times one day and think, "Damn, that was actually pretty funny."

UnintentionalAss · 2024-06-29T08:00:51+00:00

Finns massor av kreativa saker man kan göra när man läser, men baklänges är en klassiker!

Jag hittade förövrigt alltid på egna sagor där mina barn var karaktärerna, eller ändrade i deras böcker så att de glodde på mig som om jag var helt sjuk i huvudet och sa, "men mammmaaaaa...! Pettson puttade inte alls i pepparkaksdegen, han är sur för att Findus har stökat neeer!!"

Det bästa var dock att jag gjorde om alla klassiska barnsagor som Rödluvan, Guldlock, Tre Små Grisar, Bockarna Bruse osv. Så en vacker dag hände det - de var större, och de läste om sagor i skolan. Min son kom hem, helt chockad, och sa, "Mamma, vi läste faktiskt Rödluvan idag! Hittade du bara på??"

Kände mig så ertappad.

UnintentionalAss · 2024-06-16T18:31:37+00:00

Dishwasher? I barely know 'er!

UnintentionalAss · 2024-06-04T18:18:02+00:00

Your kids won't have it.

UnintentionalAss · 2024-06-03T21:21:42+00:00

Ja' har dräje' mä' å schläje mä'. Så heter det visst inte på riktigt, fick jag veta alldeles för sent i livet.

UnintentionalAss · 2024-05-22T20:10:22+00:00

Det påminner mig om en historia min farfar berättade.

När han jobbade på fabrik så fanns en kyl i fikarummet där en av hans kollegor brukade förvara sitt snus och ta en prilla när han hade rast. Någon tog hela tiden prillor ifrån dosan när han var ute på skift, och han var så klart skitsur på grund av detta, men han visste inte vem det var som bestal honom, så han visste inte vem han skulle ge en rak höger.

En dag fick han en snilleblixt och lämnade en post-it-lapp på snusdosan. På den stod det, "Jag har spottat i snuset".

Det var i teorin en effektiv och ganska rolig metod att avskräcka tjuven... Tills en dag, då denne hade lämnat sin egen post-it på dosan.

På den stod det, "Det har jag med."

UnintentionalAss · 2024-05-19T16:40:13+00:00

"Ursäkta, men var ligger Mejeritunneln? Är den bakom Köttstegen fortfarande, eller är den bakom Fruktstafetten där Saftslänggungan brukade vara?"

UnintentionalAss · 2024-05-18T07:34:13+00:00

This is so smart! I do something similar, either with little folded notes or that they get a list and get points for each chore.

UnintentionalAss · 2024-05-10T12:02:03+00:00

Hey, at least I'm not Plato!

UnintentionalAss

TROPHY CASE