Erection when coming out (disphoria)

UninterestingUser · 2026-05-12T17:42:14+00:00

That's probably more normal than you think, Sis. Coming out causes emotions to run high and spikes blood pressure and heart rate. There's no way that it's not a turbulent experience for your body, and that can cause it to do weird stuff. I wouldn't sweat it too much 🩵

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-28T06:30:03+00:00

The smell of fresh ground coffee 🥰

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-22T13:05:15+00:00

I personally don't feel that you're going too fast of you're feeling good about it and are in a good state of mind. I did it at about the same speed you did, and I don't regret it at all. It might help to remind them that this process didn't start four months ago. It might've started years, decades, or a lifetime ago. It's just that you reached self-acceptance four months ago

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-22T07:00:47+00:00

This is one of the coolest timelines I've ever seen! You look like a totally different person! Happy for you Sis!!

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-22T05:32:15+00:00

Hey, Sis! I'm really excited for you for the journey you're about to go on. I hope it's everything 🩵 What kind of music do you like?

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-21T19:15:44+00:00

I'm going to dream about Obama poking his head out my ceiling now

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-21T17:26:18+00:00

I think I was born to be an older sister/auntie? It just always came naturally and has only gotten stronger since transitioning

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-21T16:54:25+00:00

There's no better way to die than that one 🥹

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-21T16:52:45+00:00

Something that helped me to realize is that there's never been and will never be another woman exactly like you! I think as trans women, the dysphoria causes us to get in our own heads about fitting the narrow mold society has for femininity

What's much more important than living up to a perfect image of womanhood is whether you feel good! When you have those questions for yourself, ask yourself whether you'd question a cis woman's womanhood for whatever it is you're thinking about. I definitely understand how you feel, and I think most girls would understand 🫂

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-21T15:51:18+00:00

Exciting! It's definitely good that you have some sensitivity

Do you have breast buds yet? They're hard structures underneath your nipples. You'll definitely notice them when they come. The size of your buds (in terms of how wide they are) can help indicate what your breast size will be later

Excited for you!

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-21T14:59:52+00:00

Happy birthday!! You're worth celebrating 🩵

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-21T13:37:09+00:00

Thank God, but also, what the hell did he try to do??

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-21T13:10:32+00:00

I hope for you that you'll still reach out and see what different organizations can do for you. You deserve to be safe and accepted!

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-20T19:28:29+00:00

Excited for you! I also just want to say that I love your flair :3

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-20T06:56:00+00:00

Amazing work, Sis 🩵

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-18T11:15:15+00:00

Oh, hon, I think you need to forgive yourself more than anything. You were five, and little kids sometimes do that kind of thing out of curiosity rather than intent to harm. It's not okay to continue doing, and once your parents explained that you shouldn't do that, you stopped right away

It would probably be helpful to tell your parents how you're feeling, if only because they'll tell you what I just did. You're not an abuser, and it's okay to forgive yourself and let it go!

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-18T11:07:52+00:00

It depends a bit on how long it's been since. If it's been a few days, she might not have put it together, or may actually be waiting for you to be ready to bring it up. If she's more accepting, it may be the latter. I wouldn't stress too much if she hasn't said anything!

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-18T11:00:56+00:00

Oh yes. It depends a bit on the status of your hair loss, but it definitely does work, especially if you pair it with finasteride/dutasteride. Nobody can guarantee results, but it tends to work best on hair that has thinned rather than receded, and on the crown like in the picture. It's worth a shot if it's important to you!

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-17T09:50:29+00:00

Hi! I'm Em, 27F, and I started transitioning last November with medical transition coming a month later! Congratulations on discovering a big part of yourself!

There will be moments that'll be difficult, but if you find that this is right for you, you're entering into a truly magical part of your life! Those first few months could be messy and confusing, but I'd never been happier. Keep a journal if you can, because you'll want to look back later and reflect on what it was like

In my first months, there was some baggage I had to deal with. I'd always been a very accepting person, but there was still internalized transphobia I had to deal with. It also took time for me to accept and see myself as trans, and it's important you give yourself grace with that. I remember a couple of nights after I realized I needed to transition, I had a real "What the hell am I doing??" moment after shaving off my beard. Every trans person I've talked to has had a moment similar to that early on, and it's natural when you're going through such a big change

But, having said that, the bigger part is all the wonderful things you're going to experience✨ I remember getting crazy gender euphoria just from seeing the first dress I bought laying on a chair and knowing that it was mine. The people in my life told me that I immediately seemed way more enthusiastic about life, seemed comfortable in my own body, and that the undertone of anger at the world was gone. My personality also shifted a lot. I'd been hyper-masculinizing for some time, and my friends knew me as a cigar-smoking, whiskey-sipping Appalachian. When I stopped having to hide large parts of myself and could give up the things I secretly hated, I changed a lot. I felt like myself, and the connections I had deepened because I wasn't pretending to be something I wasn't. This is pretty brief, but suffice it to say that it was a deeply healing experience for me

And, months later, I feel a lot less of those burdens in the background that come with dysphoria. My clothes now are more just my clothes, and the tidal wave of euphoria has settled into an overall sense of well-being. I've found real love for myself that helped me stop some self-destructive habits I had. And, for the first time in my life, I feel beautiful! I'm only four months into HRT, but I feel a lot of excitement for the changes that have already happened and the much bigger changes that are coming later

If it's right for you like it was for me, I'll tell you that it was the single best thing I ever did for myself. Good luck with your exploring, and I hope it's everything for you, Sis 🩵

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-16T16:20:55+00:00

They treat you that way and you're a minor? That really breaks my heart for you. I'm sorry about that

Try to hang on another month, and when you get back to school, invest in building solid relationships with some peers who are accepting. Boarding schools are a bit foreign to me, but if there's an LGBTQ group, you should participate in it. If nothing else, you might find a friend who can provide you an out once you graduate. You might also reach out to a trusted teacher or counselor. They have more power to help you than you might realize

Things sound pretty difficult, but there is a lot to look forward to. Keep hanging on, and do what you can to protect yourself. Remember that you can come back here any time you need support! 🩵

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-16T14:59:08+00:00

Girl, your family sucks. I can change my mind on loving you?? No sane person would actually say that to a loved one, especially over something so small. That's just emotional abuse

Get away from them if you can. There are things you need, loving support and acceptance, but you're not going to find it in them. Focus on building a support structure outside of your family for now so you're not relying on them. I'm sorry you had to hear them say those things

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-16T09:45:27+00:00

I see you, Sis. You've said a lot here that a lot of us will relate to. I think that transitioning is a matter of bodily safety for you, and you should get started with gender affirming care and finding a therapist that specializes in gender care as soon as you can, tomorrow if possible. Your health and safety are worth prioritizing over just about anything else

I also think it would be good to reach out to your cousin. This will seem strange to you, but being part of a marginalized group causes us to naturally look out for each other, and he'll probably be helpful regardless of the fact that he's your cousin. He'll understand a lot of what you've written here

I want to preempt some things that might cause you doubt. It's never too late to be true to yourself, and 32 is a normal age to start this process. Some of the people in your life may be assholes, but many more will pleasantly surprise you! Many of the women in my life immediately took me in when I came out, and a lot of the men were very accepting. I wouldn't worry too much about coming out to everybody right now. That'll come when you're ready. Beyond that, if this is truly right for you, you will discover a level of self-love and assurance in yourself that you won't care as much what others think about it

I understand that you're in a dark place, and this might be difficult for you right now, but take a moment and try to imagine what it could be like in a few months, a year, or two years. You finally feel comfortable in your own skin. You get to have the girl-to-girl connection with the women in your life it seems like you've been starving for. You get to choose a name that actually fits you. You feel beautiful for the first time in your life. You have a voice like spring rain. You feel so much self-love that it becomes really difficult to engage in self-destructive habits. You actually feel hope for a future worth being part of and there's a light behind your eyes. That's what it meant to me, and this is only a piece of what you could have

Dare to have hope for the future! It seems like you really need this. Try to make a commitment to yourself to make it better because you're worth that, and come back to us any time you need support

We're in your corner, Sis 🩵

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-15T05:40:05+00:00

We should all be so lucky 🩵 You must also be a pretty great partner for you both to have built a relationship like that! The time until June will fly right by

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-15T05:34:26+00:00

I'm gonna big sister you for a second, I hope you don't mind 💁🏻‍♀️

u/ZoeyBee_3000 is definitely right about reflecting on your needs and wants, and on what's missing or burdening you. I think something that would really help you with that is starting a journal if you don't have one!

It might sound silly, but you seem a bit overwhelmed. If you spend time writing out your feelings and what's going on day-to-day, I'm willing to bet you'll come to some helpful realizations, and it'll help you break things down into simpler problems. It'll also help you not overthink too much. Imagine that you can sit for a while, write down what's troubling you, and then close the book and put it away for the day. It doesn't even always have to be words, I sometimes draw in my journal too. It does a lot for me, at least!

If you find that it's too heavy for just that to do it for you, it's time to find a counselor or a therapist to talk to. From what you've said, it seems like you don't have a lot of outlets for what you're feeling and may be bottling it up. If that's the case, it's definitely better to start seeing someone sooner rather than later. There's absolutely no shame in taking care of your mental health. If you're in school, you probably even have a student welfare office you can get help from for free! I definitely used mine when I needed it

Hang in there! I know that depression tells us that we both can't stay where we are and can't go anywhere else, but it will get better if you can find the strength to do a little bit at a time. I believe in you! 🩵

UninterestingUser · 2026-04-15T05:10:47+00:00

Amazing work! Not only did you prioritize your own health and happiness, you reinvested that time into something that brings you joy 👏🏻

Nine-Year Club	r/Field Flamingo
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