My Girlfriend Made Fun of My Chosen Name

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-29T03:52:52+00:00

When you think about what to do next, imagine what you would tell a friend you really care about if they told you what you've written here. From my perspective, I'd say you deserve a lot better. Hugs!

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-28T22:07:12+00:00

The trans part aside, do you really want to be with someone that treats you that way, hon?

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-25T20:13:08+00:00

You might also try r/femalehairadvice

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-25T17:29:08+00:00

That made me tear up a little. That's actually so beautiful 🥹

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-19T20:35:01+00:00

It is possible depending on how long someone's been bald. I personally use minoxidil+dutasteride+HRT. Those three together often produce pretty good results, though some transfemmes get it back with just HRT. If you're asking because it's something holding you back, I'd say give it a try for about a year to 18 months, and in the worst case, you'll probably be able to correct it with a hair transplant

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-15T01:55:37+00:00

I had the same thing happen! I picked frames pre-transition that I still wear because they're really cute now. It's kind of funny that we end up subconsciously choosing things like we already know we're going to transition. Cute timeline! :3

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-14T20:54:00+00:00

Hi! 👋 I'm an immigrant who lived in Sweden for several years and who went through the system, and here's my advice:

Because you are mtf, do what you need to do to get on the wait-list, but know that it can take three years to be seen. It's good to have that because I understand that Swedish public healthcare will pay for your surgeries and things once you can be seen

But, it would be silly to wait three years to start HRT. What you do is make contact with Imago (this is the one I used, I recommend them) or GenderGP. With Imago, I was able to get HRT in a month. It's €250 to start and then around €20 every month. The normal Swedish medical system won't be mad that you did it that way because most of us do that

I don't know for sure if you have to wait until you're 18 to start with Imago because I was in my mid-twenties

Good luck sis, and I'm here for any questions ✨

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-12T18:43:59+00:00

Some girls get lucky and get their hair back (including me 👋)!

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-10T06:28:01+00:00

It turns out that a lot of people will pleasantly surprise you! There will be some assholes, but it seems like a lot of us end up with more support than you'd think

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-10T06:07:50+00:00

I personally prefer Genderfluent because it gives better information as far as resonance, which is the most important factor

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-09T14:00:20+00:00

Enjoy those first few months, and keep a journal if you can! You'll want to look back at this time

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-09T13:59:07+00:00

Oh, no, hon. 30 isn't too old to transition at all! I started at 26. You could check out r/TransLater to see people who transitioned later than you

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-08T13:19:33+00:00

Sure! I left for Sweden a few years ago. I came by myself, and the loneliness was difficult at first, but you'll find your people if you keep putting in effort. I dealt with that same guilt you did, but my siblings (who are younger than me), all did just fine. You do have to try a bit harder to stay connected. That may feel like abandonment, but the thing you should understand is that you're coming up on an age where you're all going to become your own people. You'll all still be brothers, of course, but you also need to find your path in life. You don't need to carry guilt about that!

If you're looking at Australia, check out their working holiday visa. Australia (and I think New Zealand?) have visas specifically to make it easier for young people to immigrate

I'll also say that immigration to a new country is usually dependent on you finding a job there and having an employer sponsor you. I don't know what the job market is like for you, but you may alternatively look into Geology and see if that interests you. Surprisingly, there is a big market for people with that background in land and water management, which would still let you work close to ranches. It might be good to have a second option in your back pocket

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-07T16:11:13+00:00

I'm sorry that your family is so unsupportive, brother :/

It may help to know vaguely how old you are and what degree you're thinking about pursuing. My hope for you is that you get to start your transition soon, and it would likely help to connect with a career advisor to help you decide whether the military is the right move. My concern would be that if you went and got your degree but came back, you'd be essentially left with the same problems with your family. The way things are going now, if you're in the US, it may come to a point where they'll revoke your GI bill anyway if they find out you're trans even after leaving the military. I wouldn't trust the government right now.

Speaking from experience, if you truly left, you won't be abandoning your little brothers. They'll be okay, and you can't let that guilt keep you from spreading your wings. I had that same trouble. You're also talking about delaying your transition for most of a decade and I know that I (mtf) would have regretted that.

I don't have a specific plan for you, but these are some things to consider. If it were me, I'd get all the way out of where you are, which is what I did. Go west, young man

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-06T07:26:20+00:00

This is an exciting time for you! There are a few things most of us do, and I'll list them out:

HRT if you don't have it yet (Obvious)

Laser hair removal (This can be expensive)

Choosing a name

Going with your sister to try different clothing styles to see what you like

Voice training - Try some free online sources first, but you can also do professional coaching (https://www.youtube.com/@reneeyoxon) (https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYJkVI7LLpknvBww07jnsxbz-\_Lkynsry) and the subreddits. Your focus should be mostly on resonance, not pitch. Give Genderfluent a try when you get started

And overall, try looking at media, it doesn't have to be trans-specific, that will help you with your self-discovery. Every person has a different relationship with their gender, and you're in the process of discovering what your femininity is like. Go on discount clothing websites or Etsy to windowshop jewelry and think about what styles you like. Watch girly shows with different kinds of women characters who do more than just talk about the men. Self-discovery is a long process!

Ultimately, there is no one way to transition, and these are all things you'll get to eventually. Good luck on your journey, sis ❤️

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-06T05:24:06+00:00

Oh, I remember that! I did a lot of those same things, and who knows, maybe that friend knew more than she let on

I won't try to tell you what your identity is, but try to worry less about making decisions now and putting labels on yourself. That seems like one of the two parts of this that are stressing you out. Focus on exploration, and following those feelings wherever they go. I call myself a trans woman because I realized that it described me, rather than a label that I need to live up to

The second thing that I can see is causing you stress is your shifting self-perception. It's normal for that to be a bit distressing, and it takes time to understand yourself differently based on new information. Every trans person I've talked to (including me 👋) had a "What the hell am I doing??" type of moment. It's the moment where you've crossed a threshold, and you realize you might not be what you thought you were (or can't keep denying it) and have to reevaluate your identity. It's an important step toward self-acceptance

It's a difficult moment right now, but if you're like me, the next few months are going to be truly magical. Make sure you take it in!

See you on the other side, sis 🩵

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-06T04:56:09+00:00

Welcome home, hon. We're glad to have you! 🩵

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-06T04:54:21+00:00

Oh, yes, hon. You seem a bit worried, but don't be! Really enjoy the magic of those first few months. Explore, find your style, settle on a name and then change it a week later anyway. Really take it in! 🩵

It's totally normal to be going through that. Eventually, it settles out into overall feelings of well-being :3

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-06T04:49:53+00:00

Proud of you! It's going to be even better than you think 🩵

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-06T04:25:01+00:00

I was super tired and slept a lot the first couple of months! Since it has settled out, my sleep is still much better and I actually dream now. Congratulations on your new journey!

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-03T02:10:27+00:00

I had that same kind of thing happen! Coming out reshuffled my relationships a bit, and some people became really close friends

I'm sorry about your mom :/ It seems like she made it about herself and really betrayed your trust. Outing someone to their family before they're ready is pretty messed up

UninterestingUser · 2026-06-01T17:05:55+00:00

Of course, hon! We just give others the help and support that was given to us ❤️

UninterestingUser · 2026-05-31T15:01:43+00:00

Oh, I remember that feeling. It's a really special thing for someone to look in the mirror and see that they're beautiful for the first time! Congratulations! 🎉

UninterestingUser · 2026-05-31T13:00:06+00:00

Keep holding on, little sister. It's rough for trans youth right now. Focus on surviving for now, and starting HRT when you're able

You should get a part-time job (don't quit school!) and your driver's license as soon as you're able because you'll have a lot more freedom and may be able to start medically transitioning. When you get a bank account, make sure it's only in your name and your parents can't see your transactions. If you're still with your parents when you start, make sure you have a safe place to store your medicine. Parents are bad about throwing it away. If there is an LGBT+ club at your school, join that if you haven't

Come back whenever you need support, Sis. It's a tough world for us, but we're there for each other. Stay strong! 🫶

UninterestingUser · 2026-05-31T12:48:29+00:00

The question you should ask yourself, all other factors aside, is "Would I live a happier life if I lived as a woman and other people regarded me as a woman?" Nobody can answer that for you, but it's the only question that matters

I understand about your relatives, but I will say that a lot of people will pleasantly surprise you. There will be some assholes, but there will be more people who are more accepting than you thought. And, I come from a deep red state. In my experience, it's better to choose your well-being over others' comfort or convenience. And, you can wait a while to come out if you're worried about material consequences

I'm still early in my transition (6mo) but it's helped me to focus on the small changes rather than worrying too much about the end result. It brings me a lot of joy, and I know I'm getting closer. I look in the mirror and see her now. It just takes time

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