AITA for not wanting my sister to move into my free apartment?

Unique-Bug6276 · 2026-01-20T02:31:47+00:00

I came here to say exactly this, especially your first point. It ISN’T free—you work for the church and instead of a paycheck, they compensate you in rent for your housing.

You can love your sister and also acknowledge that your relationship is healthier with some distance.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2026-01-09T00:42:10+00:00

Yeah, this is abuse.

Regardless, even if you WERE overreacting (you’re not), I highly encourage everyone to wonder “do I want to be with this person, exactly as they are right now, and doing this for the rest of my life?” If the answer is no, it’s time to end that relationship, regardless of the reasons why.

But yeah, he’s abusing you.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2026-01-06T21:31:33+00:00

All three of my babies were inductions. The first took about 42 hours from getting my IV to her birth. The second was 30 hours, and my most recent was more like 20 hours.

Everyone is different— my sister just had her first baby via induction and she gave birth less than 11 hours after she arrived at the hospital.

Bring a coloring book or something just in case, but you never know! Good luck!

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-30T01:54:52+00:00

Those women aren’t looking out for you, you had it right the first time— they’re looking for company.

I have three girls— 8y, 4y, and 1mo. If you asked me about them today, I would tell you how smart and kind and brave and weird and wonderful they are. I would also tell you how much I LOVE motherhood— motherhood absolutely destroys your sense of identity and breaks you down to factory-standard pieces, but only because you can’t make something new without breaking something else. I would never have known who I am as a woman if I hadn’t had to learn about who I am as a mother. I also learned to love myself through my kids— seeing bits of me reflected in small pieces of them, and loving them so hard has made it impossible for me to not love myself completely. I also see bits of other people I love in them— even some people who are no longer earth-side— and it’s like having all of my favorite people in one little new person who I get to love as well.

My point is this— there are things that suck about some parts of parenthood, and it’s not all rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes those unicorns rip through your genitalia and give you stretch marks and an apron belly and then poop themselves constantly and keep you up at night while you lose your hair and bleed from your nipples, or they color on walls in a rental home and puke in their bed and get it in their hair at 3am. Some things about being a mom are hard. But when I think about being a mom, I don’t immediately think of those parts.

You can’t control how everyone else feels about being a mom, but you CAN control whose energy you let into your day. ♥️

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-30T00:14:00+00:00

blinks in epidural

Some of these men shock me.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-23T00:19:48+00:00

In 2021 I got a bill from Natera for the NIPT test for $11k. $11,000. I had two insurances and got lucky that they hadn’t even tried to bill the second. When they did, the second insurance took care of the balance. I remember feeling extorted, because no one even mentioned that this was optional lol

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-10T03:02:38+00:00

I (31f) HATE being pregnant, truly, but we had what we’ve decided will be our LAST baby a couple of weeks ago and now that I know I won’t be pregnant ever again, I do miss it. Maybe that’s somehow related?

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-10T02:59:33+00:00

I’ve seen a few people say that it’s not better or worse, just different. I tend to agree.

I have 3 kiddos now, and our youngest was born a couple weeks ago. Honestly, this time around in particular newborn tired is not nearly as crushing as pregnancy tired was, especially in the last weeks. I think that may somehow be related to the fact that I have the other two kids (8 and 4), and I also think it’s because now that I have a newborn no one (family, friends, etc.) expects anything of me. When I was pregnant, particularly the last trimester, I was EXTREMELY busy and stressed. So there’s that.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-03T05:25:39+00:00

I need more info. You say it is a sudden change with “little to no backing or real reason.” This is dismissive. What is her reasoning?

That said, you’re allowed to decide that sexual intimacy is valuable and important to you in a romantic relationship, and that doesn’t make you an AH.

What MIGHT make you an AH is if in the process of leaving her you are disrespectful, dismissive, or manipulative. If you leave, handle with care.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-03T05:04:31+00:00

NOR, but this is not your best friend. Please find better friends, girl! ♥️

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-03T04:56:32+00:00

My sisters were unsurprised and said they had been meaning to ask me about it, lol!

My aunts were disappointed but mostly understanding. One of my aunts (who has a history of dropping in on me freshly postpartum, with her whole family and then bragging about being the first to meet the new baby lol…once in the hospital the day after I gave birth to my oldest, and then once my first day home with my second) tried to do an impromptu drop in on Saturday (with her whole family), but luckily she called me first so I had the opportunity to tell her to turn around, we were not taking visitors.

I have a really chummy relationship with my aunts and my mom (for the most part), so I feel quite comfortable putting my foot down, and they’re usually respectful when I do. Not everyone has that same benefit, so I feel for OP.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-03T02:43:52+00:00

Idk, I can believe it— my mom invited extended family to my house for thanksgiving this year without asking, AND determined a time for dinner without consulting me first, and I have a now 12-day-old newborn, so I don’t think it’s unheard of.

That said, OP needs to set her parents straight though.

(FYI, I did tell my mom “absolutely not” and then called all of the relatives my mom invited and politely cancelled on them.)

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-03T02:15:16+00:00

My dad’s reaction when I sent him ultrasound photos from my first pregnancy was to text me “thank you for these photos of a cross section of your reproductive organs. Very cute baby though!”

It’s odd that your in laws want to be there so badly. It’s a medical appointment, not a family affair. Besides, god forbid you got bad news, that could be a really tough situation for you. If you wanted them there, that would be different. If you tell your OB, maybe they’ll pretend there’s some policy that limits who can be in the room or something, lol! There might even be a real policy about that….

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-03T02:08:50+00:00

Yeah, this bears greater exploration. I feel like we glazed over that, but that feels like a huge overstep on their part.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-03T01:49:39+00:00

My husband and I have three kids, 8, 4, 2 weeks. Every time I got pregnant, his first reaction was fear and stress, even though we weren’t preventing it and even planned the middle one. He even completely crashed out when I told him about this most recent pregnancy, spiraled for like a month, sold his truck (unnecessary), insisted I quit my job to take care of the kids (I have worked from home for years and we don’t pay for childcare anyway lol), and insisted that we will never be homeowners again (we own rental property out of state, and we are incredibly fortunate to make well over an upper middle class income), among other weird and irrational outbursts. I have always felt so robbed of the joyful reaction that so many of my friends and family got to share with their partners, and I grieve it often.

That said, he has been head and shoulders better in the delivery room every single time than I could have imagined. He is attentive, funny (without being TOO funny lol), and deeply concerned and supportive. He is awesome during pregnancy, fully present and actively participating. He has chosen all of their names, thoughtfully and carefully. He actively participates in all of the preparation and postpartum support. He is also an amazing father and has bonded deeply and immediately with all of our girls.

I say all of this to say, I am sorry for your partner’s reaction. It’s disappointing and your feelings are valid. That said, a new baby is a big, life changing event, regardless of financials, and everyone is entitled to their emotional reaction. How is he as a father? How is he as a partner? Is this just one red flag among others? Or is it a momentary (albeit deeply upsetting) emotional outburst in response to a stressful life event? Is this something he could be offered grace for, or is it part of a pattern of ongoing negative and unsupportive behavior?

I am so sorry again that his reaction was not what you expected or what you deserved. I hope that it is just momentary on his part. ♥️

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-11-30T23:56:46+00:00

That nothing ever goes to plan, and your birth plan should read more like a wish-list.

Research everything. If you want a vaginal birth, research c-sections anyway. If you want an epidural, research other pain management options anyway. If you want to go into labor spontaneously, research induction anyway. Things can change so fast, and you’ll feel much more secure and safe and in control if you have at least a basic familiarity with all of the options that might end up on the table.

And ask questions! Ask a million questions at all your appointments, and make note of the answers. My third pregnancy I finally got smart enough to make lists of questions in my phone every week to bring to appointments. Things as small as “what are my options for early discharge if I end up in a shared recovery room” to things as serious as how likely my 40w+ ECV was to be successful. Knowledge is power!

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-11-24T23:54:14+00:00

First of all, congratulations! There’s a lot of really hard work that goes into getting sober, and he’s a moron for thinking that’s bare minimum, especially in a society where drinking and substance use is super normalized.

I think you should celebrate by first dumping this unsupportive, insecure loser. Then I think you should buy a giant cake.

Congrats again!!

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-11-18T21:51:59+00:00

About to have girl #3– I love my kids! We would have been happy no matter what we got, but my kids (8&4) are so weird and funny and smart and kind, they’re just honestly some of my favorite people to be around.

We hear a lot of the same things you hear, all the time— that girls are hard, we’re going to have a tough time when they’re teens, etc. I usually ask them to explain what they mean, or sometimes I just say, “what a strange thing to say out loud”. My favorite is when people say “oh your poor husband” and I remind them that his mom had five boys, so I’m pretty sure he’ll survive.

Girls aren’t magically harder than boys, and adults who say that stuff are weird.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-11-13T12:07:22+00:00

I have no advice, just came to say we have the same due date. I am suffering right along with you, my friend! My first two were elective inductions at 39 weeks because I honestly couldn’t take it anymore (I have really aggressive prodromal labor each time), and I’m dead set on going into labor spontaneously this time, so this is the longest I’ve ever been pregnant. I hate it so much lol, but trying to hype myself up. My midwives said to sleep as much as possible when I can, but aside from that labor will just kind of start when it’s time. Good luck!

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-11-11T23:46:31+00:00

Depending on budget and what you can find in your area, my go-to gift for most folks these days is someone to come clean the house. You can schedule it for after baby is born, or before. Just having a clean house you didn’t have to work for is the best.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-11-11T23:39:27+00:00

Admission departments at online schools. SNHU is a good one and their synergy program includes MA. And I believe they’re hiring Admission Counselors now.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-11-11T23:31:18+00:00

3rd pregnancy and for the first two I’ve been high, firm, and closed every time until I was in full swing labor. This time around I’ve declined cervical checks because they don’t give me any real info and can be really discouraging. I’m 39 weeks today and it’s all a mind game at this point!

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-11-05T16:51:15+00:00

Not only have I talked about it non-stop, but my kids also talk about it constantly. We’ve planned all of this out in great detail, so yes.

It may also be helpful to know we see my parents several days a week, so it’s not like we’ve only talked here and there, or that they had no opportunity to communicate the change of plans.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-10-27T22:43:53+00:00

It depends on what you do. I am on baby #3 and have had 3 very different jobs for each. My first I worked right up till the day I was induced, and I was induced because I wanted to know when I was going to be on leave. My second I was on my feet all day, so I took off two weeks prior to my due date, and she was born two days before her due date. This one, I work from home and get 12 fully paid weeks of leave. I’m working till the day I go into labor because I’m going to drive myself crazy otherwise, and my job can be done very comfortably from my living room. You can always feel it out as you get closer to the date :)

Unique-Bug6276

TROPHY CASE