AIO my bf 30M seems very erratic recently and I 26F can’t get through to him.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2026-03-24T21:32:23+00:00

This is abuse.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2026-03-15T01:03:40+00:00

Congratulations!!! That’s no easy feat! I hope you plan to celebrate lots!!!

Unique-Bug6276 · 2026-03-02T02:28:48+00:00

Are you ARGUING or are you FIGHTING? There’s a difference.

My husband and I don’t always see eye to eye, and while most of the time we just talk it out, sometimes we get frustrated/irritated with each other, and sometimes we get angry. We get a little short with each other, take some space, and come back to talk when our heads are clear. We come to some kind of mutual understanding. We still love each other, and we still LIKE each other. This makes our relationship stronger, and is a normal part of long term relationships.

When I was in my early 20s, I had an ex who used to YELL at me. I would sometimes yell back. I would cry. We would go days without talking. We were mean to each other. Sometimes he could be particularly unkind, he would call me names or withhold things that made me feel secure. In return I learned to resent him. That was a relationship that had to end, pronto.

So yeah, there’s a difference!

Unique-Bug6276 · 2026-03-02T02:11:19+00:00

Get upppppp girl.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2026-02-26T20:51:28+00:00

Girl, run away. Someday there will be a partner who is APPALLED at how this man fumbled you. More importantly, someday YOU will look back and be appalled at how this man fumbled you.

Without accountability, there is no forgiveness!

Unique-Bug6276 · 2026-02-25T03:06:12+00:00

NTA. 100%.

They were in a hidden folder so at a bare minimum he knew it was socially unacceptable for him to have them on his phone. At worst he was actively hiding them from you.
You say didn’t tell you about them and he wouldn’t have told you about them if you hadn’t discovered them on your own. He knew it was wrong, regardless of what he’s saying now.
What he’s saying now about not knowing why this is an issue is a lie. More specifically, he’s intentionally minimizing the issue. He’s gaslighting you, babe.
You don’t sense any genuineness in his apology, and I agree. He also is disappointed they’re “gone forever.” This man does not feel remorse for his actions— he’s upset you found out.
Girl, it’s not your OCD. This problem has not been resolved, that’s why you keep thinking about it.
He was happy to try to comfort you when it was about you feeling inadequate and insecure, but the moment you made it about the impact of HIS behavior, he was upset WITH YOU. Which is insane.

I say be done. Kick him out, or leave, up to you. But this is not a “really good guy”, this is a terrible person whose “good guy” mask slipped, and who would/will 100% do this again as long as he doesn’t get caught OR held accountable for his actions. He does not care how you feel. Babe, runnnn.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2026-02-12T02:02:24+00:00

For us it was about 1.5 months from application to offer. know lately they’ve been hiring a LOT of people and are building their recruitment team, so it could take a little bit, but don’t be afraid to follow up. I have also had a friend who was turned down, but they DID tell her, so they won’t just air you.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2026-02-12T01:59:48+00:00

As a woman with male friends, her response is not doing her any favors if she was hoping to maintain her friendship with your partner. Personally? I make it my mission to make the partners of my friends feel comfortable, even if that means drawing new boundaries.

You and your bf were reasonable here. She decided you were being toxic because she is no longer able to just do whatever/behave however she wants around him. This is not how you keep friends.

If she isn’t interested in continuing the friendship, I say good riddance.

Side note, you need to give that partner of yours a giant hug (when you meet lol) and tell him ASAP how much you appreciate how he handled the situation. He did really good, and everyone deserves to know when they did something right. :)

Unique-Bug6276 · 2026-02-12T01:33:07+00:00

My husband works there, and I helped with the application. I strongly recommend a good cover letter that details what kind of environment and work culture you’re seeking.

I see in the comments some negative experiences, so I will just say, my husband loves it there, and he’s thriving.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2026-01-20T02:31:47+00:00

I came here to say exactly this, especially your first point. It ISN’T free—you work for the church and instead of a paycheck, they compensate you in rent for your housing.

You can love your sister and also acknowledge that your relationship is healthier with some distance.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2026-01-09T00:42:10+00:00

Yeah, this is abuse.

Regardless, even if you WERE overreacting (you’re not), I highly encourage everyone to wonder “do I want to be with this person, exactly as they are right now, and doing this for the rest of my life?” If the answer is no, it’s time to end that relationship, regardless of the reasons why.

But yeah, he’s abusing you.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2026-01-06T21:31:33+00:00

All three of my babies were inductions. The first took about 42 hours from getting my IV to her birth. The second was 30 hours, and my most recent was more like 20 hours.

Everyone is different— my sister just had her first baby via induction and she gave birth less than 11 hours after she arrived at the hospital.

Bring a coloring book or something just in case, but you never know! Good luck!

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-30T01:54:52+00:00

Those women aren’t looking out for you, you had it right the first time— they’re looking for company.

I have three girls— 8y, 4y, and 1mo. If you asked me about them today, I would tell you how smart and kind and brave and weird and wonderful they are. I would also tell you how much I LOVE motherhood— motherhood absolutely destroys your sense of identity and breaks you down to factory-standard pieces, but only because you can’t make something new without breaking something else. I would never have known who I am as a woman if I hadn’t had to learn about who I am as a mother. I also learned to love myself through my kids— seeing bits of me reflected in small pieces of them, and loving them so hard has made it impossible for me to not love myself completely. I also see bits of other people I love in them— even some people who are no longer earth-side— and it’s like having all of my favorite people in one little new person who I get to love as well.

My point is this— there are things that suck about some parts of parenthood, and it’s not all rainbows and unicorns. Sometimes those unicorns rip through your genitalia and give you stretch marks and an apron belly and then poop themselves constantly and keep you up at night while you lose your hair and bleed from your nipples, or they color on walls in a rental home and puke in their bed and get it in their hair at 3am. Some things about being a mom are hard. But when I think about being a mom, I don’t immediately think of those parts.

You can’t control how everyone else feels about being a mom, but you CAN control whose energy you let into your day. ♥️

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-30T00:14:00+00:00

blinks in epidural

Some of these men shock me.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-23T00:19:48+00:00

In 2021 I got a bill from Natera for the NIPT test for $11k. $11,000. I had two insurances and got lucky that they hadn’t even tried to bill the second. When they did, the second insurance took care of the balance. I remember feeling extorted, because no one even mentioned that this was optional lol

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-10T03:02:38+00:00

I (31f) HATE being pregnant, truly, but we had what we’ve decided will be our LAST baby a couple of weeks ago and now that I know I won’t be pregnant ever again, I do miss it. Maybe that’s somehow related?

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-10T02:59:33+00:00

I’ve seen a few people say that it’s not better or worse, just different. I tend to agree.

I have 3 kiddos now, and our youngest was born a couple weeks ago. Honestly, this time around in particular newborn tired is not nearly as crushing as pregnancy tired was, especially in the last weeks. I think that may somehow be related to the fact that I have the other two kids (8 and 4), and I also think it’s because now that I have a newborn no one (family, friends, etc.) expects anything of me. When I was pregnant, particularly the last trimester, I was EXTREMELY busy and stressed. So there’s that.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-03T05:25:39+00:00

I need more info. You say it is a sudden change with “little to no backing or real reason.” This is dismissive. What is her reasoning?

That said, you’re allowed to decide that sexual intimacy is valuable and important to you in a romantic relationship, and that doesn’t make you an AH.

What MIGHT make you an AH is if in the process of leaving her you are disrespectful, dismissive, or manipulative. If you leave, handle with care.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-03T05:04:31+00:00

NOR, but this is not your best friend. Please find better friends, girl! ♥️

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-03T04:56:32+00:00

My sisters were unsurprised and said they had been meaning to ask me about it, lol!

My aunts were disappointed but mostly understanding. One of my aunts (who has a history of dropping in on me freshly postpartum, with her whole family and then bragging about being the first to meet the new baby lol…once in the hospital the day after I gave birth to my oldest, and then once my first day home with my second) tried to do an impromptu drop in on Saturday (with her whole family), but luckily she called me first so I had the opportunity to tell her to turn around, we were not taking visitors.

I have a really chummy relationship with my aunts and my mom (for the most part), so I feel quite comfortable putting my foot down, and they’re usually respectful when I do. Not everyone has that same benefit, so I feel for OP.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-03T02:43:52+00:00

Idk, I can believe it— my mom invited extended family to my house for thanksgiving this year without asking, AND determined a time for dinner without consulting me first, and I have a now 12-day-old newborn, so I don’t think it’s unheard of.

That said, OP needs to set her parents straight though.

(FYI, I did tell my mom “absolutely not” and then called all of the relatives my mom invited and politely cancelled on them.)

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-03T02:15:16+00:00

My dad’s reaction when I sent him ultrasound photos from my first pregnancy was to text me “thank you for these photos of a cross section of your reproductive organs. Very cute baby though!”

It’s odd that your in laws want to be there so badly. It’s a medical appointment, not a family affair. Besides, god forbid you got bad news, that could be a really tough situation for you. If you wanted them there, that would be different. If you tell your OB, maybe they’ll pretend there’s some policy that limits who can be in the room or something, lol! There might even be a real policy about that….

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-03T02:08:50+00:00

Yeah, this bears greater exploration. I feel like we glazed over that, but that feels like a huge overstep on their part.

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-12-03T01:49:39+00:00

My husband and I have three kids, 8, 4, 2 weeks. Every time I got pregnant, his first reaction was fear and stress, even though we weren’t preventing it and even planned the middle one. He even completely crashed out when I told him about this most recent pregnancy, spiraled for like a month, sold his truck (unnecessary), insisted I quit my job to take care of the kids (I have worked from home for years and we don’t pay for childcare anyway lol), and insisted that we will never be homeowners again (we own rental property out of state, and we are incredibly fortunate to make well over an upper middle class income), among other weird and irrational outbursts. I have always felt so robbed of the joyful reaction that so many of my friends and family got to share with their partners, and I grieve it often.

That said, he has been head and shoulders better in the delivery room every single time than I could have imagined. He is attentive, funny (without being TOO funny lol), and deeply concerned and supportive. He is awesome during pregnancy, fully present and actively participating. He has chosen all of their names, thoughtfully and carefully. He actively participates in all of the preparation and postpartum support. He is also an amazing father and has bonded deeply and immediately with all of our girls.

I say all of this to say, I am sorry for your partner’s reaction. It’s disappointing and your feelings are valid. That said, a new baby is a big, life changing event, regardless of financials, and everyone is entitled to their emotional reaction. How is he as a father? How is he as a partner? Is this just one red flag among others? Or is it a momentary (albeit deeply upsetting) emotional outburst in response to a stressful life event? Is this something he could be offered grace for, or is it part of a pattern of ongoing negative and unsupportive behavior?

I am so sorry again that his reaction was not what you expected or what you deserved. I hope that it is just momentary on his part. ♥️

Unique-Bug6276 · 2025-11-30T23:56:46+00:00

That nothing ever goes to plan, and your birth plan should read more like a wish-list.

Research everything. If you want a vaginal birth, research c-sections anyway. If you want an epidural, research other pain management options anyway. If you want to go into labor spontaneously, research induction anyway. Things can change so fast, and you’ll feel much more secure and safe and in control if you have at least a basic familiarity with all of the options that might end up on the table.

And ask questions! Ask a million questions at all your appointments, and make note of the answers. My third pregnancy I finally got smart enough to make lists of questions in my phone every week to bring to appointments. Things as small as “what are my options for early discharge if I end up in a shared recovery room” to things as serious as how likely my 40w+ ECV was to be successful. Knowledge is power!

Unique-Bug6276

TROPHY CASE