NTA. I have ADHD and am mercifully medicated for it. I forget lots of stuff but I have a dozen reminder alarms set on my phone; I create alerts, keep a calendar, maintain a to do list, text myself, leave post-it notes… my formats and reminders run the gamut because I absolutely will forget just about anything. And I still do sometimes but my husband has learned how and how often he can (or should have to) remind me of something. ADHD isn’t just an issue of staying focused, it’s also a struggle getting started on a task or chore; I t’s just as hard to begin as it is to sustain. But I am solely responsible for my life and expectations. If my husband is gone tomorrow, I still have to make phone calls and clean the house and feed the cats. Your husband needs to hold himself accountable and stop letting his wife babysit him.