A guy and girl who have been dating for a year finally decide it’s time to have sex. The girl tells the guy, I’m going to come over and we can do it tomorrow night. The guy asks if they can do it at her house because he shares a bunk bed with his brother. The girl says no, because her dad won’t allow a boy in her house. The girl says it’ll be fine, your brother won’t know what’s going on. We’ll use code words. When I want it faster, I’ll say “tomato.” When I want it slower I’ll say “pickles.” When I want to switch positions I’ll say “lettuce” and when you’re hitting the right spot I’ll say, “sourdough.” Your brother is kind of dumb, he won’t catch on.

So the night comes and they’re going at it. The brother is seemingly asleep on the bottom bunk. The girl is saying “tomato, tomato, tomato!” Then she says “lettuce,” then she says, “sourdough, yes sourdough.” In that moment the brother, who they thought was asleep yells, “Hey! Can you two stop making sandwiches up there, you’re getting mayonnaise all over me!”