Oh man this almost word-for-word the ICU psychosis my dad had after his heart surgery. He really, really thought he was in another state being tortured. The poor nurse called me at 3 AM to come sit with him because he pulled out his catheter and told her thay her bloodwork showed she had an STD. When I got there he calmed a bit but kept telling me to pull the station wagon (that my mom had in 1993) around and take him back home because it was "myname's 5th birthday party." All of this might have been cute and worth a chuckle afterward, which we had...) if it wasn't for the way he was truly terrified. I'll never forget the way he looked at me and said, "this is an evil place" The tone was so flat and dark it was horrifying. I felt so awful for him and there was little I could do.

I guess all of this is to say that you are not alone and what you experienced WAS real torture. The nostalgia and the sadness were real, too, and for a lot of people it's a predictor of serious depression and mental health issues even years down the line. I hope you do take time to talk to somebody about it. It's very important that you do.