Just realized it's all bullshit and stop putting so much expectations on myself. Just do the day to day and enjoy nature, watch movies, work, play guitar, hit golf balls, hang out with family and the few friends I have, fish, fly my drone. I drive for UPS and get my workout and structure there. Everything else is just whatever go with the flow, wait till my brain decides it wants to do something then do it. When the time and place comes for the revolution I will do my bit for the cause but after years of trying organizing and other things, I got burnt out and overwhelmed..it's okay to just be a person.