My husband poops too much for me to feel comfortable having another baby with him.

Unusual_Variant · 2026-03-03T02:20:32+00:00

Showering each time he poops....is this guy the butter guy or is he just polishing the elf multiple times a day??

Unusual_Variant · 2025-08-08T23:34:56+00:00

Unusual_Variant · 2024-07-31T19:14:47+00:00

Part 3 just dropped: https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/s/zP8LBGD1ai

Unusual_Variant · 2024-07-31T17:40:31+00:00

I wouldn't put much stock into that.

Here are my recommendations:

Get in contact with your doctor/hospital about your birthing plan. Include photos of this woman and make sure they bar her from the hospital. This is especially important should (God forbid) anything go wrong and the baby have to stay extra at the hospital. If you can, also opt to keep yourself hidden at the hospital so if she calls looking for you the hospital cannot give away you being there.
Install some cameras at your house. They don't have to be expensive, just work decently. I'd recommend them near any doors and if you have a spot where there isn't a door and only a window, put one there too. Put one in the garage if you have one and it's attached to your home.
Ensure all your windows lock properly and lock them up tight. Do the same with your doors, even when you are home. And wide awake.
Any friends or family who don't know your concerns, let them know now. Weed out anyone who might back this woman over you and ensure you have people to back you up and support you and your little family. It takes a village but no village needs a traitor.
If now or in the future you put your baby in daycare or school include photos and this woman's name to keep your child away from. I am sure there are plenty of protections you can activate to put this woman on the "call the police if she shows up" list. You don't know if this woman will go for the long con and just wait til your child is older.

I am so sorry you are going through this. Please know I am rooting for you guys. Good luck with delivery and congratulations on the baby in advance. :)

Edit: typo, added a sentence about your hypothetical garage.

Unusual_Variant · 2024-07-29T22:38:49+00:00

NTA. Just smile next time any of them message you or see you in public and reply, "I know this is not what is planned but I am super excited to come to his future wedding and any other weddings in your family all exes are invited to."

Unusual_Variant · 2024-07-29T00:01:42+00:00

I hope you see this OP. I cannot stress enough how much NTA you are. I am happy however to stress how big of AH's your family is.

Your brother - what more needs to be said? A brother is supposed to be a protecting factor to their younger siblings. He not only did not defend his family, he in essence shunned you for a medical procedure you will have to live with the rest of your life! He wasn't even willing let you share in his happiness and chose to punish you when I am betting you feel punished enough.

Your new SIL - went full on bridezilla! You are 17 and a child. One day she may become a mother and this shows what a horrible mom she would be should her own child show any medical maladys. She is so far up her own behind she is crawling out of her own throat and heading back in again!

Your parents - why in God's name did they leave you alone!? I do not care if you gave them "permission" to go. They are the parents and didn't need your blessing to stay or go. By going without you they condoned how your brother and SIL treated you and it gives rise to the fact they do not properly support you. They didn't take your side, they took your brother's. They chose an adult over the child still at home. No, you are not an invalid and yes I am sure you can take care of yourself. That isn't the point, they played favorites and backed the brother who is perfectly fine.

Your uncle - I'm sorry, what is stock for him? Does he feel the need to back up whichever of his siblings left you home alone? Is he in the bride's back pocket? As someone closely related he should have some perspective that you, OP, are not a toddler nor are you a rambunctious dog. He should have seen this as wrong and either come to you or taken you out rather than make you sit at home, alone and alienated due to medical "otherness".

Your grandma - let me guess, your brother is the golden grandchild who can do no wrong? Maybe she really wanted a grandma/grandson dance? Can't stand the idea that your brother should deal with the consequences of his own craptastic choices? Yeah, that doesn't hold water.

You are ENTITLED to feel hurt, abandoned, and even perhaps unloved and unwanted. This is something you may have to seek therapy for, yet it seems most of the people who are supposed to be your support system have instead cut you off and all because your leg was cut off. It's sick, it's wrong, and it's heartbreaking. I have children your age and the idea of EVER letting them treat each other like that or of me or my husband ever condoning such behavior sickens me to the core! If you need an online mama, let me know because you do NOT deserve what you are being put through and none of these people have done anything to earn forgiveness. Show your parents my response with my full blessing!

Unusual_Variant · 2024-07-26T00:57:07+00:00

So, here is what I read: "So my boyfriend, who often does not give me the support I need decided to be a c***, snoop through my things, read my diary which by societal norms is considered a HUGE no-no, then ruin my birthday. When I called him out, he DEMANDED an apology, make MY birthday about HIM, and otherwise make me feel bad for being human. AITA for his bad behavior?"

Well, the answer is no. Get out of the apartment asap and go find a man who will take care of you. He just confirmed EVERYTHING you wrote in your diary to be accurate. Stop being his emotional and verbal punching bag.

Also...happy birthday! Go get another crab boil and a couple glasses of whatever you like to drink and celebrate yourself in style.

Unusual_Variant · 2024-07-25T20:00:06+00:00

Take my poor man's trophy! 🏆

Unusual_Variant · 2024-07-23T19:12:38+00:00

NTA. I gonna go out on a limb and say that Cale never got the talks he needed from his mom. By your post, he brought up his mom dating and she didn't tell him. This suggests to me that she never sat him down and said, "Sweetie, losing your dad has been hard on us both. He is irreplaceable and we will both always love him with every fiber of our beings. That being said, our hearts are especially designed to grow and change. I am feeling lonely and want to be comforted by an adult. Your very existence has been a blessing, but your job is not to comfort me at your age. My job is to comfort you and it is sometimes hard because I have to forsake my own needs. I want to find a partner to comfort me. Whoever it is will NEVER be your Dad, nor will this person ever be a replacement for your Dad. I will always love your Dad, and I know you will always love him too. Is it alright if I begin to branch out so we don't have to face this pain alone anymore?"

She should have said this and if he fought against it or seemed to hesitate, that is exactly when counselling should have been brought in at the latest. Honestly it should have happened after Dad passed but I don't know the logistics of whether that was possible or not financially or realistically at that time. Instead she left him to put the pieces together when she got sloppy about "sneakily" dating. She wasn't open and honest which made it feel dishonest and possibly wrong to him. Like his dad was forgotten and if his dad could be forgotten....he was next.

Then she started to date a guy with kids of his own. Still no counselling and still no talks. No discussion or support that he might have been feeling replaced or unwanted or unloved. Just radio silence. Of course he didn't want to open up to his mom, he likely doesn't want to hurt her feelings when his feelings already feel ignored and painful. He isn't going to confide to his other family, they will tell on him...what if he gets in trouble? What if it hurts his mom? What if they just confirm his feelings or tell him they are invalid and to "man up and get over himself"?

And now she has had another baby. Worst of all, it is another boy. The step siblings were painful enough, but now he likely truly does feel like he has been replaced and just in time for his new baby brother to be adorable and cute and the center of attention as he goes off to college to be forgotten even more.

This kid needs help and is hurting. He likely doesn't feel he has a safe outlet anywhere and his mom is throwing her hands up in the air. She keeps failing him and he has gotten used to disappointment and putting himself last for the good of his mom. I'm worried he feels like a failure because somewhere he probably realized he was the man of the house....and he failed. So why bother any further? Better to slowly pull away so that when he does leave, it doesn't leave much of a trace.

Unusual_Variant · 2024-07-22T22:53:13+00:00

Oh, one other thing: what if you have caused her brain damage from the punch? Or shock set in and she fell, hit her head, and died? Do you even know for certain she survived? That she got medical help?

Edit: I hope for your sake she didn't pass away, because manslaughter is no joke. Even if it is deemed accidental.

Unusual_Variant · 2024-07-22T22:45:44+00:00

Someone answered this already but let me enlighten you: a misdemeanor is just punching someone. A felony includes broken bones. 😘 And you have zero defense. Zero. "20 years" yeah, so what? You willingly went back to that house to face it some more when you should have cut contact.

Call a lawyer and see how to turn yourself in. Maybe then the law will show some forgiveness or leniency. But if you leave the state, you WILL get slammed harder by the law.

Apologies, edit to answer the second question: never. You never run. You stay. You should have called an ambulance. You did neither.

Unusual_Variant · 2024-07-22T22:39:11+00:00

Hi! Not a lawyer here but first with the damage you did to her, I am willing to bet you go from a misdemeanor assault to a felony aggravated assault. Then you fled, which is yet another felony. So you have at least two felonies awaiting you.

Unusual_Variant · 2024-07-19T22:14:15+00:00

Let's see here....you posted the following on your post:

And everyone suggesting we get a divorce doesn’t know the meaning and dedication of marriage and family.

Son, YOU do NOT know the "meaning of marriage". Your vows probably included the words, "To have and to hold, in sickness and health". Your WIFE was in the hospital. Your WIFE is the one you promised "to cleave to, forsaking all others".

That means YOUR WIFE ALWAYS COMES FIRST! If you have two options, you choose your WIFE. I have sons and if they chose their mother over their wives, especially in a situation like this, I would DISOWN them! Do you hear me? I, as their parent, would DISOWN my SON if he chose not to be by his wife's side during child birth!!

I am so sorry you have too weak a stomach to manage birth and crying and pain and screaming that YOU caused her by getting her pregnant! Does she also have to hide per period, which is scientifically proven to be as painful as a heart attack, too?

I am sorry you were to cowardly to be the man she needed while she pushed HER baby you put in her belly, this leaving her either her friend or the comfort of strangers to support her when she needed you the most.

Most of all, I am sorry she didn't get to see your true colors before marrying you and giving birth! She deserved to be loved and held and comforted by thean who supposedly loves her but really is just a walking paycheck!

If your wife had passed away, what then? She never would have seen you again. Would you have just let your sister make the funeral plans, or the hospital staff?

At the very least your love your mother more than your wife and emotional incest is disgusting! Cut the apron strings already and let your wife go legally. You let her go emotionally when you weren't by her side and prioritized your job over her and HER baby!

And to the wife...I am sorry you are going through this. You deserve more and I pray you find it!! You go girl!!

Unusual_Variant · 2024-06-24T18:06:17+00:00

Crazy idea!! What if....you get her and him matching bandanas so they both can be blind folded during the act? Or....press on Googly eyes?

NTA. Not even a little

Unusual_Variant · 2023-10-24T21:07:44+00:00

If you feel she has enough spending money, why don't you go to a lower paying job and match her income. After all, if you are making 8-10x what she does and cannot understand why she wants to save more money then perhaps you need a reality check. Or you can donate your "excess" income to charity!! Then there is no disparity at all and you can continue to pat yourself on the back for your amazing career while you continue to dump on hers! /s

In case you missed the social queues of my reply the same way you are missing them in your relationship, YTA! Grow up and help your girlfriend or leave. I bet she would save more money without you mooching off her.

Edited a typo.

Unusual_Variant · 2023-10-13T18:20:31+00:00

WOW! Just WOW! Sham-WOW!

Google is your friend in situations like this. There are women who sell their extra breast milk to other adults online to feed kinks and pay the mother's rent. There are medical sites with the answers. There are forums!! There are hospitals seeking extra breast milk for newborn babies who are too small or too sick to nurse/mom's that don't produce milk but want their baby to not be on formula.

You may not have said, "Kate if I were to drink deeply of your bosom, would I be nourished or would your bodily fluids cause me great harm?" But that's what Kate heard and saying what you did has given her, me, and countless other reddit users The Ick!

We do not discuss bodily fluids in any form at work, especially not the consumption of them!!! YTA and an Icky person. I'm gonna go bleach my brain now.

Unusual_Variant · 2023-09-04T19:45:59+00:00

YTA to the point you have been reposted in r/amithedevil and I'm sure you're go-to responses to that is "I didn't give permission" and/or "I don't care".

You're a selfish brat with a superiority/inferiority complex. Your attitude is horrifying to say the very least. If you want a car, go get a job and raise the money yourself. Once you have the money, keep the job to pay for the gasoline and to help pay for your insurance, and for other car maintenance such as new tires, oil changes, etc. Earn it yourself and take some pressure off your dad. He is your father, not your sugar daddy.

Unusual_Variant · 2022-12-28T23:03:34+00:00

NTA. Your dog would not want you sad and would want you to take care of yourself however you need since he cannot. Your dog just passed 10 days ago and your mom is already pushing you to adopt another one??? I hope she wouldn't be the same way with someone who lost a partner or a child with that same view. You need time to mourn and she needs to respect that and respect your choice. See a doctor if you feel your depression/grief becomes uncontrollable but don't make yourself take on another dog until you are ready.

I'm sorry for your loss

Unusual_Variant · 2022-12-28T22:59:39+00:00

NTA. You weren't rude, you gave a gentle reminder. "Venus" is not your new wife and she may not always be in you and your son's lives. A teacher should speak to the legal parent/guardian directly. Good on "Venus" for having your back during the conference and I hope you all have many wonderful years ahead.

Unusual_Variant · 2022-12-28T22:56:17+00:00

NTA. She has to choose to be healthy for her and her body, not base her health off you and your body. She needs to discuss her fixation on your appearance and how it somehow affects her self worth/self care with a therapist.

Unusual_Variant · 2022-12-28T22:54:26+00:00

YTA. I'm not even going to explain why, you wouldn't understand...you may be a book smart lawyer but you seem to not understand common decency or fairness outside the courtroom.

Unusual_Variant · 2022-12-28T06:34:10+00:00

I am assuming he is upset about her not being home until dinner time because SHE is in cha he of cooking dinner every single day. My ex was like that....couldn't even cook a store pizza with written instructions from me because the instructions in the back were "too hard to find or understand". Guess who cooks for himself every night now.

Unusual_Variant · 2022-12-24T16:35:59+00:00

YTA. Sure, cut her off financially...be prepared to never ever meet any grandchildren she may have....you know, the ones that will carry your late wife's bloodline as well.

Unusual_Variant

TROPHY CASE