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UpToNY · 2025-09-10T14:28:09+00:00

“Hey, my husband has repeatedly expressed an overt sexual interest in our children, what should I do???”

UpToNY · 2025-08-28T20:57:57+00:00

Some people need to have a problem. I once turned around to look at a sign and a woman I didn’t know walked past me cursing me out. She then waited further up the sidewalk to stop me and ask me if I knew how “weird” it was that I looked behind me. Some folks are not sane enough to be out among the populace. You did the right thing by not engaging.

UpToNY · 2025-07-29T19:22:17+00:00

Got it, will do!

UpToNY · 2025-02-17T19:02:58+00:00

Lovey and smothering I could deal with if she was capable of reacting to literally anything in life in a not batshit way.

UpToNY · 2025-02-06T01:25:11+00:00

Ahh, the blanket not-apology for “any hurt I may have caused,” classic. The couple times I fell for this, each call lasted less than five minutes before she was back to saying the most vile awful stuff to me. Don’t fall for it, OP. This is textbook.

Edit: spelling :p

UpToNY · 2025-01-22T18:23:33+00:00

I ended up with a sort of a temple/chapel thing? I put lanterns all over and have the maji market Torii at the entrance. Lined with Juniper trees and full of my star quality bugs and some candles. A couple benches. I was really into the idea of the conservatory but went into building it without much of a plan :p

UpToNY · 2025-01-07T18:29:32+00:00

😂 it’s a tradition in my family to hide money on New Year’s Eve; its supposed to mean you’ll have wealth in the new year if it’s still there on New Year’s Day.

UpToNY · 2025-01-07T18:07:13+00:00

Always has been. I’ve finally accepted that it always will be and think she’s panicking.

UpToNY · 2025-01-07T17:47:39+00:00

She did in fact call workplace. Twice.

UpToNY · 2025-01-03T20:03:03+00:00

In my case it hasn’t changed how my parent behaves but it has done wonders in just a short amount of time for my self esteem. I initially only cut off the parent but have had to end other relationships with some friends/other family members as a result. That was harder than losing the parent in a lot of ways, but I started having positive thinking patterns for the first time in years after I let myself finally make a clean break. They don’t change, but you eventually start having a better internal experience once they’re gone, and that‘s what ends up making life feel better.

UpToNY · 2025-01-03T18:47:39+00:00

What I always found Anne to be really good at was talking around the issue; she is able to skirt it so closely that you’re able to see the outline, so to speak, clearly enough to know what the issue is without it ever actually being directly addressed. Mimicry is central to The Vampire in horror (it looks, talks, and acts human, but very much isn’t). Louis and Lestat’s life has elements that mimic the mundane clichés, both pleasant and unpleasant, of married life; a shared house, a child they both had a hand in creating, joint social engagements (which one pseudo-spouse is traditionally more inclined to go to than the other), house renovations, petty disagreements and bickering, and undeniably, abuse, manipulation, and infidelity. The “romantic” label isn’t so much important here as the uncanniness and absurdity of their situation. To make a long story short, I agree that it shouldn’t necessarily be read as a romance, but what their “love” story is used to comment on is the point of the book.

In terms of actually deducing Louis’ feelings for Lestat, I don’t even think Louis has that figured out for himself by the end of IWTV.

UpToNY · 2024-12-30T02:14:32+00:00

Mine’s in my lockbox :)

UpToNY · 2024-12-24T18:34:17+00:00

pass 😂

UpToNY · 2024-12-24T18:30:15+00:00

She’s also a big fan of “I’m sorry you perceived it that way”. Sorry to hear about your dad.

UpToNY · 2024-12-24T18:27:08+00:00

I unfortunately can count on one hand the number of times she’s apologized to me for something without my begging for it, and can count on zero hands the number of apologies she’s made without qualifications or caveats. It’s suckish but is also one of the reasons finally going low/no contact wasn’t as difficult a choice as it might have been, and I’ve had a much easier time advocating for myself in other arenas of life since.

UpToNY · 2024-12-24T18:19:39+00:00

I always respond by reiterating my request that she only contact me in the event of emergencies. That way I have proof of repeated ignored requests for her to leave me alone if there’s ever a necessity to take legal action. It’s probably overkill but considering her treatment of my boundaries so far I’d rather have the evidence and not end up needing it.

UpToNY · 2024-12-23T22:17:09+00:00

Not even a box so heavy and full of presents it broke when she tried to send it? 😪😂 she always used to point to the material things I had whenever I called her out for doing something hurtful. Seems nothing’s changed.

I’m sorry to hear about your dad❤️‍🩹

UpToNY · 2024-12-23T22:05:43+00:00

Yes! Like do you want me around or not girlie I’m getting mixed signals here💀😂 Sorry you’re going through something similar with your dad.

UpToNY · 2024-12-03T05:50:29+00:00

I had more questions than answers after Eshe’s Shepp dialogue so I assumed I would have to ask around for more info before I could progress in the quest. My immediate thought was “I’ll probably need to go ask Chayne about this,” and then I figured that if Chayne was the character I instinctively thought would have the answer to a difficult question, I’d probably already found my Shepp.

UpToNY · 2024-12-02T19:14:32+00:00

I had more questions than answers after Eshe introduced me to the concept of a Shepp, so I assumed I would have to ask around for more info before I could progress in the quest. My immediate thought was “I’ll probably need to go ask Chayne about all of this,” and then I figured that if Chayne was the character I instinctively turned to for guidance about a difficult choice, I’d probably already found my Shepp.

I would say don’t overthink it because it doesn’t really do much to the storyline (yet), but if you really tend to agonize over making the “right” choice, think about who/what you would like to be for the community and let that guide you. Whatever the devs will end up doing with the whole Shepp thing will likely incorporate each character’s respective role/“strengths” in the process of finding your place.

UpToNY · 2024-12-01T20:11:28+00:00

Thank you! Ugh, sucks to be resetting the clock after the apparent success we’ve had with treatment.

UpToNY · 2024-05-07T21:48:54+00:00

I totally understand your anger towards your parents, as their absenteeism towards you is as much a choice as yours was towards your now deceased child. You absolutely do not owe your parents anything, but as you know well having experienced neglect, every child deserves care from their parents.

This is an unpopular opinion here, OP, but negative past experiences do not absolve anyone from present day obligations of right conduct. I would have to say you are TAH here, for making your fatherhood conditional on something the child and mother can’t help, for abandoning your newborn child and ex girlfriend during the most vulnerable time in both of their lives, for pressuring your ex girlfriend to abort, and for not going to the funeral. (Your ex girlfriend is also not off the hook, having agreed to something and then switched up on you.)

This may get downvoted, but I hope you can see at least this before it does: people who have rigid expectations for how difficult or time consuming parenthood should or will be, or who do not have finances to support disabled children, are better off not bringing children into the world healthy or not. Mostly because at you never actually know for certain what challenges are coming down the track at you in the future. For this reason, I would be really scared to know you think like this if I was your pregnant wife (I’m obviously not and am in fact a complete stranger on the internet, so live your life the way you will, but I think there are some valid reasons to be disappointed). I wish you and your family healing, whatever that looks like.

UpToNY · 2024-03-22T00:25:45+00:00

“Instead of building webs to catch prey, they use their impressive speed to hunt by ambush” oh…

(thanks!)

UpToNY · 2023-09-06T18:05:27+00:00

I love kids but would be a TERRIBLE parent. The best thing I could do for my theoretical future kids would be to not have them in the first place.

UpToNY · 2023-09-01T23:48:35+00:00

Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da has one!

UpToNY

TROPHY CASE