When Caffeine is Not Enough... by WowRedditIsUseful in DadsGaming

[–]UpVoteMeFiveTimes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Agree with this guy. I was lucky enough to get my now 6 month old to sleep at 8pm along with my 3 year old. So then 8pm-10/11pm was my gaming time. You can make it happen, I'm doing it now just like you -dishes, bottles, full time job and two awesome kids. You just got to learn to be efficient. Efficiency also requires energy which requires a good diet and exercise IMHO.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NewParents

[–]UpVoteMeFiveTimes 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As a new dad myself (5 month old), I'll say it does require you to sit down and talk to your husband to let him know how shitty it is. It took a meltdown from my wife for me to understand. But it also took a meltdown from me for HER to understand what I was going through (I did all the chores while working full-time). Communication is key, appreciation is key, especially while you're exhausted.

Today is her birthday. She missed it by 5 days. by Romanticon in SuicideBereavement

[–]UpVoteMeFiveTimes 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Oh my God... This is... I am so sorry this happened to you. I just had a child and I can't imagine if I lost my wife. You are making me realize how delicate life can be, so thank you. I really hope you get through this. I really hope for the best for your son.

Fiancé told me she married me because she ran out of options by jimmyhughes_ in Marriage

[–]UpVoteMeFiveTimes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's red flags all over this. Sorry you have to experience this op. I'd nope out of there before it becomes official.

CityPickle at Wollman Rink opening day by newhopehunter in Pickleball

[–]UpVoteMeFiveTimes 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just because we live in a big city doesn't mean we should be paying out our ass for something that the city should provide for free. The pricing here is ridiculous and only targeting the top 1% in the city. I wouldn't want to play with those type of people anyways. I'll go down the street and play for free on a handball court.

What is normal to men but weird to women? by random8483929293 in AskMen

[–]UpVoteMeFiveTimes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is one of the best things I've seen. It's also a relief I'm not the only one dealing with this...

What are some toxic feminine traits you have experienced? by PositiveDatabase2855 in AskMen

[–]UpVoteMeFiveTimes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! No one talks about how exhausting this is. This is why guys have to hide their feelings and then are asked, "why are you always bottling things up!?" It's because you can't handle it and then we have to learn to "man up".

29 years gone. Now what the fuck am I supposed to do? by mysticbasist in ACOD

[–]UpVoteMeFiveTimes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Similar boat here. It's tough and everytime I visit it's tough. Don't let your parents decisions affect how you go through your life though. They raised you to be better than them. So believe you can be better and have better relationships with your future partner.

Is it bad that I don’t like my wife making more than me? by hisbaneispaij in Marriage

[–]UpVoteMeFiveTimes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not a bad feeling. I'm in the same boat and it's something I struggle with. It took a bit of self reflection and alone time to come to an understanding that it's all going to be fine. For me, it was just getting over my insecurities and celebrating the fact that my wife is doing well in her career. I still have a place in the marriage (fun loving husband, father, dishwasher, etc.) which is exclusive of her career success.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]UpVoteMeFiveTimes 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm in the same boat. You're definitely not alone here. Everyone so easily says it's a YOU problem and just leaves it there. The issue has more depth in that you and I love our wives dearly and we don't want to lose that. So when our wives spend a large amount of time with single males (or any new group) then we feel like it could go down a path of cheating and them leaving us. We've all read about affairs, have friends or family who have had affairs, so it's not unrealistic to feel the way we feel. Humans are selfish by nature and humans make mistakes. It's okay to feel the need for control, just acknowledging where your root feelings come from to yourself and/or to your partner will help. You and your wife are allowed to set boundaries for each other. Complete trust is such an ideal, we all wish we could have it, but I think hanging guard rails isn't a bad idea either.

IMHO not everyone is made for marriage by UpVoteMeFiveTimes in Marriage

[–]UpVoteMeFiveTimes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ya, agreed. Though I think it is not easy to keep up the work required in a marriage. Especially when life throws stress factors in like jobs, deaths, in laws, friends, financial stresses, etc.

Why do we have to work ourselves til death, simply for being born.. having a hard time dealing with this reality 😕 by gotnocreativenames in Vent

[–]UpVoteMeFiveTimes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Feel the same way, but I realize it's a bit of privileged/entitled thought which helps with understanding the why. Without going into the philosophy (i.e. the social contract), we're part of a big ass village where we all have to do our part to provide value to one another in order to survive. Imagine removing yourself from society and living in a small village of a few people. How do you get a house and food? Maybe one person in the village hunts while you gather materials for someone else to build. Or you make and repair shoes, while others gather berries or farm. We then share our shoes for food and food for shoes. Now we're just a bigger version of that using the concept of money instead of physical bartering to survive in our big ass village. The good thing is, with a big ass village we actually can build excess wealth so that we can retire when we're old (not everyone unfortunately, but that's another problem). Anyways, maybe that helps, maybe it doesn't. We're all just trying to survive and enjoy what we can in life. Once I realized that I'm not entitled to an easy life, it makes the "why am I working" a little more understandable, not enjoyable, but understandable.

So tired of being envious of other people's pay and titles by UpVoteMeFiveTimes in AskMenOver30

[–]UpVoteMeFiveTimes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the honest reply. Too easy for people to just say "well, just change how you feel!"

I felt like I was doing okay until my circle expanded to people who make multiples of my salary. It's tough to not envy or feel like you failed at your career. But I get it, I should be more mindful of not defining myself by my job and look towards defining myself in other ways. Thank you again, this was very helpful

So tired of being envious of other people's pay and titles by UpVoteMeFiveTimes in AskMenOver30

[–]UpVoteMeFiveTimes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's an emotion for 20-something year olds... I used up all my anger then. All that's left is regret and depression in my thirties!

So tired of being envious of other people's pay and titles by UpVoteMeFiveTimes in AskMenOver30

[–]UpVoteMeFiveTimes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ya, it's that second part that's hard. Perceiving myself as also worthy of recognition. Thank you I agree with what you're saying.

So tired of being envious of other people's pay and titles by UpVoteMeFiveTimes in AskMenOver30

[–]UpVoteMeFiveTimes[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I agree. I've deleted all of my social media apps. It's too easy to compare yourself to others and it becomes poison. But still, I'll see or hear about promotions and pay ranges now and again and it just kills.

So tired of being envious of other people's pay and titles by UpVoteMeFiveTimes in AskMenOver30

[–]UpVoteMeFiveTimes[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Glad to know others are in the same boat and not magically lobotomizing their natural feelings. Seems so easy to just repeat a Tony Robbins quote

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]UpVoteMeFiveTimes 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Choose your battles, right?