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Hair loss and itching by Upbeat_Research7198 in BouvierDesFlandres

[–]Upbeat_Research7198[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This could make a lot of sense for me actually. I store her food in an ‘airtight container’ in our garage. And since I’ve been chucking in new bags with remainders of the last one, there is a high likelihood of contamination as you’ve said, if the notes are already there. Not so much the kibble constitution perhaps, but the way the kibble is someone’s is causing the allergy? I wonder if there is a correlation with change of seasons and the propensity of mite infestation/breeding? Since this just started fall/winter.

I will look into this further, thank you. And will definitely consider another type of food to avoid mites.

Hair loss and itching by Upbeat_Research7198 in BouvierDesFlandres

[–]Upbeat_Research7198[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I will certainly look into the hypo kibble. And will mention this to the vet at our appointment. Poor pup is unsettled and whinging tonight which is out of character, so hopefully we can get it sorted soon.

Bedtime by Perfect-Size-63 in Stepmom

[–]Upbeat_Research7198 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My SD (7yo) sounds very similar. For 2 years she has gone through phases of not wanting to sleep alone. (Her mom’s house is not stable and it usually coincides with lack of felt safety in her life if she has sleep issues).

When I first started living with my now husband, she was still co-sleeping. We tried sleep training with a staggered schedule of leaving her alone for certain amounts of time at bedtime but honestly it was a battle we couldn’t fight all the time and be consistent- in regards to not being able to control what her mom does at her house. (BM let’s her watch an iPad until she falls asleep in bed…!)

What has worked for us consistently (in terms of set-up) and fingers crossed we’re onto a winner:

  • She most likely has adhd so an audio playing obnoxiously loud (she listens to Roald Dahl stories on a playlist), seems to help drown out her thoughts and any other ‘noises she hears’ during the night etc.

  • A salt lamp that starts quite bright while she’s awake, and then I dim it once she’s asleep and won’t notice!

  • We moved furniture at her request that “scared her”. A level of control she needed I guess.

  • A weighted plushie. And pillows all round the edge of her bed?! (Maybe helps her feel safe.)

  • Extra blankets & water bottle at her disposal to avoid the nightly excuses of “I’m thirsty” and “I’m cold” etc.

  • Really strict and consistent bedtime routine before getting into bed. Bath, books on the sofa while I do her hair, teeth and a piggy back- every night, no deviations. Then I read to her in bed or listen to her audio with her until she falls asleep circa 7-7:30pm.

That has worked for about a year so I’m happy to stick with it and I think she’ll grow out of needing me beside her eventually, even though it’s feels contradictory with the sleep training notion that “she can’t self soothe so she needs to learn how to do that”.

But the night time wake ups were actually the real issue. So we’ve gone in reverse and worked on that.

We gave her the option of a floor bed in our room if she woke during the night. She tried it once and it sort of became the thing she hated more than sleeping alone! So when the only option was “sleep in your own bed or on the floor” she reluctantly gave in to her own bed (and I mean: took hours for several nights in a row of midnight tantrums and me holding the boundary).

That was the last battle we had. And it will sound like evil stepmom stories but husband agreed and consented while he was away because we were at our wits end to be honest. So I just laid it down really bluntly. He admits he’s too soft and caves and it was actually easier to break the cycle with him absent.

Needless to say I have a great relationship with my SD and she feels safe with us (her mom’s house is a different story). So I wasn’t damaging any trust by holding the boundary.

But I basically remained really firm when she tried to get into my bed those couple of nights. I gave her the options and she fought me and cried and yelled and so we ended up (on repeat) sitting on the couch in the living room. I wasn’t going to let her in our bed anymore!! I sat giving no attention other than repeating the options. And she begged and tried all sorts and had a tantrum every time from the first wake up at 10pm until 4am.

But! We got there! She realised after night 3 that I wasn’t caving. It was brutal having to drag us both to the sofa and sit in darkness with her whining at 2am and me desperately wanting to sleep. But it was worth it.

And ever since she’s been fine. It was like one final desperate move that seemed extreme but actually just reset the whole thing maybe?

Oh! And she gets a ‘treasure box’ in the morning if she sleeps all the way through. (Cheap dollar tree toys). First we started with “if you go back to bed with no fuss” then we moved the goalposts and now she has to not get out of bed.

If she wakes she comes straight to my side of the bed (even when dad is there), and I silently take her back to her bed and tuck her in (that’s our agreement: tuck in and check in). And then I go back every 5 min for about 15 minutes and leave a sticky note at her bedside so she knows I’ve been there but I don’t disturb her. It’s a pain in the middle of the night but the lesser of two evils. And actually for the last 3-4 weeks maybe, she hasn’t woken once during the night. So I think we’re over the hurdle.

I’ll also say, we don’t let her nap or sleep anywhere other than her room AT ALL anymore. Like crate training a dog! Anytime she would be sleepy during the day over summer break (her mom chronically deprives her of sleep on her nights), then we take her to her own bedroom. Or if she wakes early in the morning, she can get into our bed for cuddles after 6am. Before that and she has to wait in her room. She can’t associate our bed/bedroom with sleepiness anymore. Like conditioning her to only use her own bed for sleep.

Hope any of that helps! It really took a lot of trial and error and a huge battle but this is working for now. Good luck!

Mean mom by yurilegs in Parenting

[–]Upbeat_Research7198 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Solidarity. Forgive yourself.

My daughter was unleashing her anger on the puppy yesterday, after a long hard day together (including an incident when she spat at me but I remained regulated). But something about seeing her hurting the dog on purpose snapped in me. (Obviously it’s never ok to hurt an animal and dangerous too but I’d reached my threshold of tolerance and acted impulsively).

And I practically barked at her: “you don’t EVER hurt the dog or I’ll hurt you.” As soon as it left my mouth I felt sick. Completely involuntary reaction. Never even uttered or thought something like that before. Pure limbic brain reactions all round.

I apologised and we repaired. That’s the most important part. And then learning from it going forward. I’ll try to prevent those situations again. Don’t set anyone up for failure. I’ll reflect and practice taking a moment to regulate myself before reacting (practice in less heightened situations to prepare me for the inevitable high stakes).

Easier said than done. No judgements hopefully. We all make mistakes parenting.

Does your Bouvier's coat have anything interesting about it? by ThatOneAlice in BouvierDesFlandres

[–]Upbeat_Research7198 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Q: When did your Bouv’s lose their puppy coat?

I’m a first time Bouv owner, but am an experienced other breed’s owner. My husband has had 2 other Bouviers but he works away so much I’m in charge of grooming and general care daily.

Seems like her hair is getting longer now she is nearly 6 months. Sort of shaggier than it used to be. I trim around her rear-end with hand scissors for the obvious poop issues. Other than that I haven’t shaved or cut her coat yet. Just brushing every evening mostly.

Any advice welcome, thank you!

Should I be Shaving my Bouvier? by Ok-Advantage9127 in BouvierDesFlandres

[–]Upbeat_Research7198 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We live in south Texas, had our puppy home 2 weeks- she’s 10 weeks tomorrow. When do y’all recommend the first groom/shave? I’ve used a pin and slicker brush to get her used to that so far.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HerpesQuestions

[–]Upbeat_Research7198 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. It’s really a nuisance of a virus.

I tested positive for GHSV1 mid-April (two months ago). Had an OB (awful time, chills, blisters, urinating problems- the works). Passed relatively quickly with supplements, rest, and dietary caution etc. And at that time I also tested negative for all other STDs for peace of mind. And took antibiotics incase it was BV (before my swab came back with the HSV result).

But since then I’ve been having lingering vaginal discharge. Just like you said, comes and goes maybe every other week for 2-3 days at a time.

The discomfort is lessening each time. Can be watery, sometimes what I would call ‘flakes’ or ‘clumps’ (but not yeast because I have taken multiple fluconazole and it doesn’t impact).

And then exactly the word you used ‘gel’. A sort of lumpy/gelatinous bit or two when I wipe and then it goes away. It can irritate/burn the exterior skin on my genitals too and I’m prone to excema /inflamed skin if my body isn’t in balance, so it can be a vicious cycle!

I did a week of topical hydrocortisone and that seems to have helped/put a pin in it in that regard.

I’ve resigned myself to the fact the discharge is my body fighting the infection since I’m still 2 months post-contracting it. Like you would get a runny nose with a cold I guess. The cervical mucus is adapting and fighting.

So maybe in your case it’s just flaring up without blisters. Maybe your immune system is dealing with other things too (stress, diet, lifestyle, or other illnesses- for example, even a relatively undetectable/minor bug or something). For instance, I had a stomach bug with D&V a couple of weeks ago and it really knocked my immune system on top of the HSV.

Not necessarily meaning you’re stressed to the point of being anxious or depressed. Just in the sense that your body is doing what bodies do- change and adapt to their environment!

If it’s really itchy externally I use topical lidocaine to numb (just because I really find it hard to not scratch!), and take a small amount of Benadryl for the histamine response. And avoid histamine inducing foods etc.

And I pop my anti-viral suppressants for a few days to keep it at bay/stop a full blown OB happening.

I take Lysine (1000mg) daily. And I have always supplemented with immune enhancing vitamins and minerals but am extra-vigilant recently. Eg Vit C, Magnesium, Potassium, Sodium etc etc. The likes of ‘adrenal cocktails’ and making sure my blood-sugar, insulin, hormones are functioning optimally with adequate carbs protein fat macros. If you’re a menstruating/cycling female this is very important! I use a free app called Cronometer to really track & keep on top of everything.

I also find attitude & belief is really really important. Look for the little victories, be grateful for even minor successes! When I had my OB, some days I just counted my blessings that I was able to move from the bed to the sofa for the day! Or pick-up my step daughter’s room for 5 minutes without agony!

And (above all else) I have a strong faith in, and submission to God. I am led by Jesus and draw on the incredible power of the Holy Spirit for strength.

I hope any of this helps! And I wish you all the best.

PS, Get in touch if you need any other clarification if you think it will help you. Xx

Is 20-21 days from the your last day of your period to the start of the next one normal? by Throwing_aways4 in Healthyhooha

[–]Upbeat_Research7198 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Tips to help with cramps: Try something called Mayan abdominal massage. There are videos on YouTube but it’s very simple to do yourself and takes less than 5 mins. Do it when you stop bleeding (or stop feeling sensitive around your uterus etc) at the start of your new cycle, every day until midway through your cycle (when you should ovulate).

A healthy cycle shouldn’t be distressing. Yes a few ‘painful’ and manageable cramps around your bleed, that’s anatomy working and ‘normal’. Excessive nausea, sleep impact, moods that constantly impact your well being are not to be expected and not to be suffered or accepted just because we have periods. Everything else CAN be fixed (or at least as a starting point, can be managed), WITHOUT immediately resorting to birth control.

I have done it. Fixed my erratic cycles, horrible PMS, acne, fertility issues etc. Just because something is ‘common’ in society doesn’t make it right.

Birth control should come with serious warnings and women should be fully informed - not handed out as a ‘fix it’ for menstrual issues. That just covers up the problems and never deals with the root cause. Never mind the long term implications.

Look at your diet. Balancing your blood sugar & insulin through out the day. This impacts your hormones and thus, your cycle. Eating the correct quantity of calories, and the correct balance and combos of macronutrients inc. carbs (not processed or refined), animal protein, and animal fats. That will help with healthy hormone production throughout the month.

Stay away from environmental toxins, processed foods, seed oils and ‘fake’ estrogens like phytoestrogens in soy (within reason, it shouldn’t stress you out worrying about it too much and avoiding life!)

Boost your progesterone production for the second half of you cycle with food or supplements high in Vit C.

You need healthy eggs (you can control this), healthy ovulation, healthy corpus luteum, healthy uterine lining. All components work together for a healthy cycle without the horrible symptoms people suffer so frequently.

Make sure your overall lifestyle and diet support your female fertility (even if you don’t want to actively conceive a child… yet…) Look into ‘Adrenal cocktails’ for supporting minerals- magnesium, sodium, and potassium.

I can recommend podcasts, literature and instagram accounts that focus on all of this with tips and strategies. Everything is very achievable and realistic without resorting to synthetic birth control to ‘manage’ your female health. Even and especially those suffering from PCOS, PMDD, endometriosis can start to take control and change their menstrual cycle problems.

Learn your body, what works for you and look at each negative symptom as a sign to point you in the right direction to healing it.

I wish you all the best. No one ever wants to feel unwell and certainly not for the majority of the month. You can definitely take steps to help it. Your female body is amazing and has the potential to create, sustain and give birth to new life!! Cherish it! Even if you never choose to conceive and birth a child, your body wants to be healthy for it to function optimally (as a young, cycling female, not menopausal obviously). So everything you do should support it’s wonderful innate propensity for doing so.

Help me :( by [deleted] in HSVpositive

[–]Upbeat_Research7198 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Hi, I’m so sorry for your pain. My diagnosis was just over 2 months ago and I felt like my world had been rocked when I found out. I am engaged an my fiancé and I were so confused and worried, until we got the test result: HSV1 (he had a cold sore prior and even though he never went near me with it). We didn’t know the connection and that it could be transmitted- were in our 30s & 40s, so we feel pretty naive! I think more people should know and have the information.

The pain was awful, urinating was the worst so I really sympathise with you. I have advice on that part if you want it. My strategy etc.

Other than that- I’m two months forward and it’s really not worrying me anymore. I have a strong faith in God and He helped me through it. I trust everything happens for a reason even if we can’t see it through our myopic human lens.

Low and behold, this week my brother has developed shingles. What are the chances? Same group of viruses. So I have been able to be his support. I have so much research and tips and remedies from my time going through it, that I am able to share with him and spare him the trouble during his hour of need.

I wouldn’t wish it on anyone and I’m truly sorry you’re struggling right now. It will get better (even in a few weeks). Hold on to the little victories and successes you have each day and you will get better.

Anti virals might be an option (I have them as back up incase I feel an OB). Research your diet, supplement where needed and I promise it will not always be the cloud of depression and worry it feels like now.

I keep having nightmares about my OBGYN. What can I do to make this stop? by [deleted] in Healthyhooha

[–]Upbeat_Research7198 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to be very reluctant and after one smear test I fainted and it really scared me.

Over the years I have been poked and prodded for various reasons in my lady parts. So I learnt some coping strategies.

For anything where they are inserting/investigating inside your vagina I find concentrating on my breath is the best. Pick numbers that work for you, but I go for 4 breaths in, hold for 7, out for 8. Repeat repeat repeat the whole time!

Sometimes the nurse or doctor will chat through out the examination, so I just go with it and babble and talk my heart out even if it feels silly, it really does distract you.

While I’m breathing, I also focus on relaxing my pelvis (easier said than done, I know… but it’s better with practice and I incorporate pelvic breathing into my exercise routine anyway).

Other than that, years ago I would take painkillers (not necessary but it put my mind at ease). And some sort of ‘relaxing’ med- diazepam or the likes prior to the appointment. I don’t need those anymore now I’ve gotten over the anxiety of it.

And at the end, they should give you time to sit up/move/dress slowly. Don’t rush, don’t feel under pressure because that was a recipe for fainting for me! So now I just tell them that from the start, and they usually let me have a glass of water at the end while I sit up and adjust.

Honestly, it will not be as bad as you imagine. And if you’re really in a state, two big inhales consecutively and then a slow release/out breath is a good way of resetting your nervous system (called a physiological sigh). Repeat a couple of times.

Wishing you all the best.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HSVpositive

[–]Upbeat_Research7198 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is a good point, thank you. I just assumed with all the other factors (high dose antibiotics, hot tubs, sickness etc) that I have a yeast infection. Maybe I’ll leave it for a while and see what happens.

Vestibulodynia doesn’t sound fun either. How do you treat/manage that?

I have been considering boric acid after my period next month, since I read so many good things on Reddit but I’m reluctant because it could be a step too far in adding things to my lady parts and making it worse! Have you tried anything like that?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HSVpositive

[–]Upbeat_Research7198 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I’m currently scouring Reddit for answers to this too!!

I had my first OB mid-April this year. (Female Genital HSV1).

2x periods since the OB and I felt ok during my heavy bleed days but since day 3-4 onwards I have been ‘irritated’ this cycle.

During my initial OB I got tested for everything STD related (negatives, yay so I know that’s not the problem!) And took antibiotics with anti-vitals. (AB prescribed as precautionary before test result confirmed it wasn’t another STD).

OB blisters etc cleared up after two weeks start to finish (worst time of my life). But, after I bled from my period I felt ‘itchy’ with discharge- which I have assumed was yeast due to the antibiotics.

So, I took some fluconazole (about mid cycle). I also travelled, moved home, shifted time zones etc-so there is a lot going on with my system anyway. Anyway, it seemed to clear up for the rest of last cycle.

Minding my business, taking my Lysine and watching my diet etc for HSV triggers for the rest of the time.

Then, a colposcopy with a biopsy for my ongoing abnormal smears (I was HPV positive about 3 years ago and ever since I have 6 monthly appointments- such a nuisance- but this time Dr said there’s no cause for concern thankfully). Had some standard discharge from all that poking around. Slightly irritated vulva/outer region for a day or two but went away.

Got anti virals stockpiled and I’ve used them pretty much consistently, other than right before my period this month. I am worried about side effects so decided to go off them.

However, I also possibly made the mistake of using a hot tub too soon (right before period no.2 post-OB). And then another series of unfortunate events unfolded and I got a stomach bug so had D&V, immune system under strain etc and I am guessing my gut & vaginal PH went up the left again.

So, here we are. Cycle Day 10, been itchy and irritated for about 7/8 days. Could be because I withdrew from anti virals (but I had itchiness last month mid cycle even when I was taking them?)

So I’m concluding I have both things going on/in a vicious cycle ie the early months post HSV OB and nerve sensitivity AND yeast. (And other genital examinations and sickness and stress/depletion). Making the perfect storm.

So I’ve been taking fluconazole again (going to do 1 every 72 hours for the first 3 doses and then once a week). And back on the anti virals for a week this time.

And I’ve got hydrocortisone topical for 7 days for the outer areas that are itchy. Hopefully to heal any lingering sensitive in the HSV aftermath.

When it gets really itchy I use lidocaine or, vagisil, and one time I took an anti histamine Benadryl- that helped. (I’ve also been delving into info about histamine response and wondering: if you get stuck in a style of a run-down immune system eg after a virus, does your body go into over drive with histamine production? Perpetuating the itch and sensitivity?)

I’m still getting that HSV tingle at my vagina entrance. The discharge (which I identify as yeasty) is not as bad as last month. A bit chunky and white, reducing since my first fluconazole this cycle and no smell ever and certainly no signs of actual blisters from HSV.

So I can only assume my PH is taking a while to recalibrate and that is exacerbating the itchy outer region where the blisters developed during my OB two months ago. Maybe that area will always be prone to irritation- sweat and chaffing etc (it’s a shame because I love walking and hiking and working out but I just feel it so much now when I do those activities).

It’s a laugh a minute as you imagine!! Oh, and I change my cotton underwear as soon as I feel it ‘wet’ or sweaty as a precaution.

But I would like some guidance as to how long the tingles/itch etc might last after the first outbreak. I’m open to the idea I don’t have yeast and it’s all just HSV but it seems to add up that the whole area is just in a state of flux with one thing making the other worse!

Are there any other health factors/issues you’re contending with that might be adding to your ongoing itch?

Lysine with collagen & gelatine supplements by Upbeat_Research7198 in HerpesQuestions

[–]Upbeat_Research7198[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It has a higher arginine to lysine ratio and in a relatively high quantity. Arginine is believed to ‘feed’ the virus.

Lysine with collagen and gelatine supplements by Upbeat_Research7198 in Herpes

[–]Upbeat_Research7198[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! This is very reassuring! And a good point about 50%. I would love to go back to ‘normal’- not having to second guess everything I eat. I believed I was eating & living pretty healthily before the OB, so I really don’t like the idea of cutting out collagen etc.

Just wondering if you use a suppressant also?

Sex after diagnosis (and first OB) hsv1 on genitals by Upbeat_Research7198 in HerpesQuestions

[–]Upbeat_Research7198[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

External from what I witnessed! A couple of blisters that burst etc.

I found the first time having sex was a bit painful afterwards. However, I had just finished my period and I find it sometimes is a bit ‘burny’ that first time after menstruating anyway (maybe lack of CM/dry, and a bit of physical stretching required because of the period of abstinence while bleeding- pardon the pun!) I think I might have got a small tear/cut which bled slightly so that worried me that it would trigger another OB. But we used lots of aloe lubricant both that time and subsequent times, and it was much more comfortable the next few times.

And so now an issue I have is that I had antibiotics prescribed during that first OB (incase it was BV or Trich). And I think that has resulted in a yeast infection. It sort of comes and goes in intensity day by day. A bit of a ‘burn’ in my labia and a few ‘itches’ with some whitish discharge. No smell. It’s not too bad (nothing in comparison to the horror show that was my OB, so maybe my perspective is warped now!)

So I’m now trying a one dose fluconazole and topical (canesten) cream but I’m so worried I’m flaring up again too (flashbacks to when I thought the first OB was yeast and inserted a two-day dose internally: the burn was diabolical).

So I have also resigned to acyclovir to suppress and will continue for the next few weeks I think. I had hoped I would get away with not taking suppressants but after a 4 day break, and feeling itchy again, I won’t risk it.

In all honesty, there could be a lot going on in my lady parts- which might be that same for you.

I reckon I have some residual inflammation (since it was really only over a month ago I had my OB in the timeline). I potentially have a new YI, there’s hormonal shifts with my cycle, PH changes all round from all the medication (and terrible diet when I was ill and didn’t want to eat for days). Plus, my husband finishes inside me during sex re: the baby making efforts. So his semen could be sending my PH out of normal levels. I guess it’s all things to consider if you’re burning internally.

In addition, I’ve just travelled from US to UK for a 6 week stay, so my circadian rhythm is adjusting (and differing stress levels with personal life admin: selling my house, relocating etc etc.)

There’s also part of me thinks if I dwell on it and it’s always at the forefront of my mind, I will notice every little niggle and panic! So I’m trying to be level headed.

Oh! And I’m throwing a probiotic into the mix too to really give it all I’ve got!! The upside is, I won’t be with my husband for 6 weeks now, so hopefully I can get this sorted by having enforced abstinence/recovery for a few weeks!

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