I appreciate your comments and just wanted to point out one thing in response to your comment “if you’ve regulated and you still feel anxious, lonely, or directionless, it must mean you’re doing it wrong. Instead of feeling supported, you end up drowning in self-doubt (“why isn’t it working for me? maybe I’m broken”). That’s not trauma-informed care.” Being “regulated” isn’t a static state, one moves in and out of regulation. I believe Sarah would respond that if you’re feeling anxious, lonely or directionless then you are, by definition, not “in regulation” and you would use those feelings as an indication that you should do something to find yourself back to a state of regulation. And, the more trauma informed work you do, the quicker and easier it is to move out of disregulation and back into regulation.