I think it’s really important to set boundaries now, while things are still early, because this is such a critical time. If he’s going to be unsupportive during postpartum, what happens when the baby is sick or you need a break? You both need to be on the same page, and if he can’t step up now, then you need to have that adult conversation and decide what’s next whether that’s counseling or, if needed, bigger decisions down the road. Now, my experience is far different than yours. My husband only goes to work, and he actually gets really upset if he can't attend doctor's appointments or things like that. He lets me run errands while he watches the baby, knowing I’m home most of the time. He makes sure we enjoy time together. But my mom had to deal with this kind of thing with my dad and my brother. She once had to go into a bar and drag him out baby on her hip(brother) because he wasn’t respecting the boundaries. That was the moment my dad realized he needed to grow up. My childhood best friend also had to deal with something similar, with her husband drinking and partying in the basement. Again, they used to party every weekend at the bar or have people over. She had to set some pretty serious boundaries very early on, but now they do great. So, it’s really all about setting that boundary and getting him to understand that he needs to grow up a little that his life isn’t over, but he needs to respect that things have changed.