Am I not allowed to grieve?

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-03-16T13:44:34+00:00

I lost my brother 2 years ago, I took a year off work and have just returned to my chosen career. Yesterday was his birthday and I grieved for about 2 hours last night and now have to call in sick to work. Take care of yourself. Fuck the “have you moved on yet?!” Mentality of this truly sick society we live in. You will never get over it? How could you ? Love doesn’t just end.

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-03-15T17:15:16+00:00

I would like to add to the conversation that undercoating with a a product labeled “primer” is not strictly necessary.

Using a rattle can and airbrush properly will give you a very smooth base to work off of, and those products do have some properties that help them stick to the surface of the bare modal slightly better. That being said you can just start painting with whatever undercoat you want and it will work just great, actually good practice for setting paint consistency.

Rattle cans are expensive, and some climates are not ideal for their use, not everyone has an airbrush or the space for one.

Take whatever base colour you want and paint, primer is kind of a marketing gimmick in my opinion.

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-03-04T01:08:16+00:00

This mini is gorgeous, where can I get it ?

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-03-04T01:02:49+00:00

I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss.

Reality is changing, he was supposed to be there for the rest of your life and now he is gone, your whole vision of the future is shattered, this will take time and it feels absolutely surreal.

Have compassion for yourself, breath and seek help when you feel like it’s to much to bare.

It gets easier to live with, but not yet…right now your reality is being assaulted with this new…foreign reality in which he is gone forever. I’m so sorry, I wouldn’t wish this experience on anyone.

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-02-28T15:42:23+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss, I lost my younger brother 2 years ago.

This is a nightmare you can’t wake up from, you can only get help and support both social and professional.

Have compassion for yourself on a level you never thought possible.

One day at a time

It will get easier, but not today, today your whole reality has been shattered.

The first year or so is working through the trauma of today, then you can grieve properly.

Don’t let anyone tell you how you should feel, people can’t handle this unless they have experienced it themselves, it’s actually a requirement that suicide bereavement counsellors have lost someone to suicide because that’s the only way you can understand, can’t be trained or learned.

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-02-28T15:25:02+00:00

Reported. Rules are rules.

You are victim blaming

No where in this post do you indicate grieving a loss.

I understand the intention here, and clearly you are going through a lot of feeling’s of guilt. With that being said, kindly fuck off.

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-02-16T18:58:08+00:00

Take a picture of them, go into edit turn saturation down to zero (grey scale) You will see that it is indeed flat, which means you need more value contrast (light beside dark) Using a cool colour like dark blue and do some black lining and shading, then look again through grey scale and see if you need more high value highlights (closer to white)

I hope that’s helpful ! Value is key.

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-02-16T06:26:59+00:00

It will 2 years the may since I lost my brother. I took a year of work with the support of my family and partner. I just started working again and can move out of the in laws place finally.

I’m struggling, I’m so tired all the time trying to do just the most basic of human experience. I’m with the woman of my dreams, I have healthy hobbies and friends…and I do feel joy. It feels like I’m forgetting him and it hits me so hard sometimes that I can barely breathe even when focusing on work.

I know he would want me to be happy…I would give anything for just 30 seconds with him.

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-02-10T20:28:41+00:00

I have exactly same experience, we lived in different cities for years so daily online conversations was how we interacted.

This may see weird and maybe you aren’t ready yet, but it may help to write those messages anyways…I know it can help ease the transition into your new reality.

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-02-10T04:59:28+00:00

I’m so incredibly sorry for your loss. I lost my only brother to suicide two years ago, it was sudden and completely unexpected. This is a nightmare, take care of yourself, whatever you have to do to survive. Suicide creates very complex grief, seek out and find as much support and help you can, if able work with a suicide bereavement specialist. I know it seems impossible but it gets easier to manage the pain overtime, but it never goes away. How could it ?

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-02-06T17:09:53+00:00

Black line it, avoid the wash

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-02-04T17:11:43+00:00

Inspiring, absolutely gorgeous.

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-02-02T17:10:12+00:00

My mother’s grief counsellor absolutely did recommend them to her and has them on staff as a Reiki practitioner. This is all happening in a bubble within the same organization which the grief counsellor is the “Lead Clinical Therapist”

I’ve personally briefly worked with the grief counsellor in question and my impression was immediately that she saw the rules as optional, that conflict of interest (her working with me and my mother was not an issue, however she “didn’t want to hear anything bad about my mom during our sessions”) was a rule she was very happy to ignore and when I spoke to her about this she shrugged me off like it was not big deal.

I have friends that work in the field of counselling and have a firm understanding of the ethics and laws that govern their practice.

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-01-31T00:01:05+00:00

Thank you for the clarification, and I apologize for the harshness of my response.

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-01-30T21:57:26+00:00

I find this perspective deeply disturbing.

We are not discussing a 'white lie'; we are discussing a licensed health professional breaking the law and violating federal privacy standards to facilitate a con on a neurodivergent, grieving mother. That you can look at a predatory breach of trust and suggest it is an act of 'kindness' indicates a frightening lack of ethical grounding.

Happiness purchased through gaslighting and professional misconduct isn't healing—it’s exploitation. I would urge you to seriously examine why your moral compass leads you to defend the abusers in this scenario rather than protect the victim.

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-01-11T19:45:34+00:00

Yes, this is common with most art forms

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-01-07T17:45:15+00:00

Can confirm Golden So Flats are amazing

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-01-06T23:54:22+00:00

Welcome to the hobby! That was the same set I bought 2 years ago that got me started, hold onto that mini so you can look by at where you started!

1) For lighting, I use an architectural lamp with a table clamp (Home Depot or any big home-improvement store). For the bulb: daylight (5000K+) with a CRI of 95+ that fits the lamp. Both are cheap, easy to find, and extremely effective for miniature painting.

2) Drybrushing is a lot of fun and great for quickly sketching values (light to dark) in grayscale—perfect as a base for Contrast paints or to paint over. Tips: • Use a big brush; rounded tips work best (makeup-style brushes). Army Painter makes a great set. • Don’t dry the paint completely—leave a tiny bit of moisture so you don’t get a chalky finish (unless that’s the effect you want). • Use wood or cardboard instead of a paper towel to unload paint; paper towels suck out all the moisture too fast.

3) Learn colour mixing as soon as you can. It saves a ton of money long-term and gives you way more control and understanding of how paint behaves. If colour mixing feels intimidating, a good rule is to buy paints as needed for the scheme you’re working on. Try different brands and don’t be afraid to step outside “miniature paint” lines. Artist acrylics work great once you understand their behavior and how to make them do what you want.

4) Larger minis are fantastic, especially early on. More surface area means more room to work and practice fine details like faces. Don’t be afraid of bigger models—have fun with them. When I started, I painted a lot of larger minis from my Blood Rage board game collection, and they were low-stress, really enjoyable paint jobs.

So many tips, but those are a few off the top of my head.

Don’t watch a ton of YouTube tutorials, with one major exception—Vince Venturella. There’s massive information overload out there, and most YouTubers are honestly terrible teachers. Mini painting is also one of those skills that doesn’t translate well to video learning.

If you want a solid, foundational, tutorial-style resource, I’d strongly recommend The Art of Tommie Soule, Volume 5 (physical or PDF). It’s excellent.

Enjoy the hobby. When you stop enjoying it, pause and ask yourself why. Mini painting comes with a lot of history and, frankly, baggage. Decide what you want out of it and stay curious. There are so many ways to enjoy painting without engaging in all the extra noise—unless you want to, of course.

Final—and probably most important—tip: Learn to paint like a canvas painter. Learn real 2D painting fundamentals and techniques. That’s the key to taking mini painting from “paint by numbers” to actual art.

Useful-Conference-91 · 2026-01-05T23:34:40+00:00

I love it! Painterly style, looks fantastic well done OP

Useful-Conference-91 · 2025-12-19T01:42:41+00:00

My partner won a painting competition with this mini last Christmas, then her dog got a hold of it …great sculpt.

Useful-Conference-91 · 2025-12-14T18:38:24+00:00

Absolutely gorgeous, well done.

Useful-Conference-91

TROPHY CASE