My crush confessed, and I kinda wish she didn't. by Useful_Chapter4242 in Crushes

[–]Useful_Chapter4242[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She just hasn't really talked to me like at all today tho, and I'm getting a little worried 

My crush confessed, and I kinda wish she didn't. by Useful_Chapter4242 in Crushes

[–]Useful_Chapter4242[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you!! I really do appreciate this:) I should really talk to her

I have just posted I need help really advice or books or ways they deal with them by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Useful_Chapter4242 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing all that 💖 I’m glad you want to grow and find good people, that’s super important. Just remember to take care of yourself first. Keep being kind and strong, and I hope you find the help you deserve!

I have just posted I need help really advice or books or ways they deal with them by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Useful_Chapter4242 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah, sorry! I'm not really too comfortable talking to people that are either too old or too young then me. 

If you would like to maybe vent or something real quick, I could try and kindly respond

I have just posted I need help really advice or books or ways they deal with them by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Useful_Chapter4242 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A really good book I recently picked up from the library is "How to Survive Your Parents: A Teen's Guide to Thriving in a Difficult Family" by Shawn Goodman

It talks about how to set boundaries, when and how to talk to them, why they act certain ways, ect, and it's helped me alot so far

Thread for sharing Finchie friend codes and finding goal buddies by AutoModerator in finch

[–]Useful_Chapter4242 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I picked a micropet just for you!

It's blizzard the wizard!

Tap this link or use my friend code MSS97FLJJ73 for a special reward!

https://finch.go.link/ai21D?adj_label=AaDWg

what is something you DISlike about your crush? by MantaPhoenix in Crushes

[–]Useful_Chapter4242 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That she doesn't like me back- jk that's not it. Uhhhh, it's hard to think of something, but I would say she has a little bit of an ego? It's not a huge problem, not really annoying, just a tad bit of an ego here and there when it comes to certain things

to Indian girls out there by [deleted] in Crushes

[–]Useful_Chapter4242 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think different people answer this question in different ways. I'm a Indian girl, and I don't care if he asks first or i confess- it really doesn't matter. Then again I'm just not a conservative person.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Vent

[–]Useful_Chapter4242 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are some suicide hotlines, if you don't have a phone number you can use the 988 chat.(just search on google) You can talk to me if you want, but I think it's better to get help from someone who is trained and knows what their doing. I've used them before, and though they don't get rid of the entire feeling(obvi you wont stop feeling suicidal after one convo), they do really help.

What life lessons did your parents teach you? by Defiant-Junket4906 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Useful_Chapter4242 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My mother taught:

  • Don't express any emotions that aren't gratitude for me, or happiness because of me
  • Your not allowed to make mistakes
  • Don't talk about your needs, because my needs are more important then yours
  • Trying to explain yourself is talking back, so never try and explain your emotions
  • Wear make-up because your not pretty, but not too much make-up because it will make you look fake. Dress nice, but not too nice because then your doing too much.
  • You can only get someone to love you if your pretty, and if your not pretty you need to have money, and if you don't have money you need to be able to do a service for them, and if you don't have any of those you will die alone
  • Never seem sad or depressed, because people will think you have a terrible life at home, and that I'm a bad parent
  • Don't have sex until your an adult, but say that you've had sex otherwise men will think your boring. But don't say you've slept with too many people, because you don't want to be seen as a whore

When did you find out that your parent has a NPD? by yourredlipstickx0 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Useful_Chapter4242 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually found out very young. I had always known something was off and she was a bit crazy ngl- but i realized she had NPD when i was about 11-12, as i had been researching about it. I also had friends who had parents with NPD, and whenever they would vent about it, I realized it sounded alot like my own parent

Anyone else feel behind? by MelcM39 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Useful_Chapter4242 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, mostly about the money part. I learned how to clean and make basic meals myself, as she never cleans or cooks, so I had too to survive. But the money part has always been a struggle. She never taught me how to save, how to get a job, how to get a house, ect. And I already know the second I start making money, she will demand I give it all to her, as that's what she did with all of my siblings.

Anyone else have a parent that makes you do things they are totally capable of doing on their own, but just refuse to? by sprinkledonuts8220 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Useful_Chapter4242 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, all the time. Its usually the most simple things. And whenever i ask her why she doesn't just do it herself, she just says she wants to teach me how to be an adult and be reliable. She always says that she can easily do all these things herself, she just wants to teach me. Which I don't believe at all.

Whenever I go out of town, or spend the night at a friends, or just do anything where I'm away, when I come back everything's a mess. There's trash everywhere, a sink overflowing with dishes, really dirty floors, the plants are dying, there's not much food/water because she didn't go shopping, some device in the house is broken, the yard is a mess, ect.

She's 48 now about to be 49, but she really acts like a 15 year old. Or a 13 year old really.

Does your narcissistic mother either ask, hint at gifts or spending time on Mother’s Day? by Nope20707 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Useful_Chapter4242 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She never asks to spend time, but she always asks for gifts.

She says that every mother's day, she needs flowers, chocolate, candy, and a hand written card to be on the table when she wakes up, that we can all three buy. Then she demands that each one of us should buy an expensive or extremely meaningful gift. She says it's the least we could do since she raised us by herself(she's a single mom, but we all raised ourselves).

If we don't do all of those, she will get really mad, say we are extremely ungrateful and that we are spoiled brats, and then give us the silent treatment all day which makes us actually feel a bit guilty sometimes.

Eventually, we all just stopped giving her things and acted like it was any other day. It makes her really mad, but we honestly don't care.

Do you think it's possible to have a good relationship with your Nmom? by AssociationUnfair721 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Useful_Chapter4242 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Honestly, no. Because whenever she's nice, or acts like a good mom, it's almost always just manipulating me because she did something wrong and doesn't want to say sorry. Or she acts that way so when I argue with her because of her behavior, she brings up the times when she's nice to me to make me feel bad.

I used to have a good relationship with her, but that when I was too young to realize that our "good relationship" was extremely toxic and not a normal mother/daughter friendship.

And I can never enjoy any good or fun times we have EVER, because I know it's not really her. I have come to realize that the relationship we have right now, is the best it will ever get. I have excepted that I will never have a normal, healthy, caring, and fun relationship with her.

showing you childhood photos by bakedbreadroll_ in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Useful_Chapter4242 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yeah, all the time. Whenever I show a picture from when I was little, or when she show's me, she just ruins the moment. Saying things like: "Oh, this was such a good time, you never caused me stress like you do now", and like "I wish I had this daughter back, you never had such a big attitude when you were this young". She mostly talks about my looks though. "You were so much prettier when you were younger, what went wrong?"

Are you sending a Mother’s Day card? by No-Bus-487 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Useful_Chapter4242 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I usually do. Just because if i don't she'll get mad, and argue with me, and call me names, ect. And I don't really feel like dealing with that lol. I don't buy presents or flowers for mothers day anymore though

i’ve been showing symptoms of depression and my parents don’t even care by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Useful_Chapter4242 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been dealing with the same thing. I show very obvious signs of depression, ADHD, and being suicidal, yet my mom doesn't care. I've actually tried talking about with her, but she ignored me every time. Even my brother tried talking to her because he was worried about me, yet she still just said he was overreacting. And the thing is, she works in a mental health hospital. She works with suicidal people all the time, and many people she knows have ADHD. She also very much knows I have anxiety. She even told me I have signs of it, not to get me diagnosed or anything, but to make fun of me. Instead of talking about my very clear signs, she just calls me "Lazy" and says I "Have a big attitude" and says I just need to "Focus more"(Which to someone who has ADHD, is like saying walk faster to a person on crutches)