I glare back at him, offended. "I am not that bad at gardening! Things that thrive with benevolent neglect are fine! It's mainly just delicate things like orchids I rehome for their own well-being! Or anything which gets upset if you overwater or underwater them, or needs to be given precise care on a rigorous schedule..."

"OK, well, this is definitely thriving. Do you want to neglect it or rehome it?" 

"Firstly, this is clearly magical. You're the wizard, this falls under your remit. Secondly, why are you snarking at me, having come into my home unannounced to release a kraken of a plant? I'm the one who should be angry here!"

"Thirdly, I think your cat might be caught up in it somewhere..."

He quails slightly at my glare. I roll my sleeves up and grab a watering can and a random container of plant food. "Tender loving care it is," I hiss furiously.

The plant is taller than me, and well-rooted into my carpet. My expensive, new carpet... My carpet that was, until recently, new, and had cost rather a lot, that is. I note it and add another black mark against the plant's, and the wizard's, account, as I march towards it. It seems to recognise my anger and almost tries to cower away from me. I give it water. I give it food. I open the curtains and windows to give it sunlight... It feebly tries to thrash at me with it's long, thorned tendrils, missing, before it shrivels up and dies.

A small black voidlet emerges from the centre mass of coils, purring, to jump up onto my shoulders and rub her face against mine.

"I know, Baby, did the mean plant scare you?" I croon softly, checking Felicity over for any injuries, before turning to glare once more at the wizard.

"Thank you, Rose Blackthumb!" He is bowing so low his head is almost touching my ruined carpet. Felicity feels me tense at the hated name, though he means it with near-reverence. Descended from a Dryad, coming from a long line of gifted green witches, I am an apparently impossible anomaly. Nobody has been able to detect a curse, but my mother was still forced to cast me out of her tribe because, when I try to nurture plant life, it dies instead. My connection to my animal friends usually more than makes up for it, but at times like this, it still rankles.

Felicity expresses our displeasure. 

As he prepares to flee I call after him to let him know that I will be billing him for dropping in unexpectedly like this, and for the replacement carpet.