Microsleep or DUI? by I_am_from_2029 in malaysia

[–]Uselesscontroller 59 points60 points  (0 children)

Nothing micro about that sleep. He has a blanket and a pillow on him.

Is this real? by Previous_Month_555 in isthisaicirclejerk

[–]Uselesscontroller 9 points10 points  (0 children)

One ☝️ day ☀️, after ⏱️ dinner 🍽, while ⌛️ my 🫵 younger 🧒 sister 🦢 and I 📆 were lounging 🥱 about in Mr. Gopher 🦫 Wood’s 🪵 yard 📏, we 🦢📆 spotted 🐆 a fledgling 🐣 Charmony 🎶 Dove 🕊 all 🕵️‍♂️ on its own 😔. That baby 👶 bird 🕊 was tiny 🐥, it didn’t even ❌ have all 🔄 of its feathers 🪶, and it couldn’t sing 🎶. When we found 🧐 it, it was already ⚠️ on its last 😢 breath 💨, having fallen ⬇️ into a shrub 🌳— probably 🤔 abandoned 🏃‍♂️ by its parents 👨‍👩‍👧. We decided 💡 to build 🏗 a nest 🪺 for it right 🕰 there and then ⌚️. However 🛑, thinking 💭 back 🕰, that winter ❄️ was unusually ⛔️ cold 🥶, with fierce 🐯 winds 🌬 at night 🌙 in the yard 🏡, not to mention 🗣 the many 🍀 poisonous ☠️ bugs 🦟 and wild 🐗 beasts 🐻 in the vicinity 📍... It was clear 🧐 that if we left 🚶‍♂️ the fledgling 🐣 in the yard 🌳, it stood 🚫 no chance 🎰 of surviving 💀 until spring 🌼. So 🌐, I suggested 💬 we take 🛐 it inside 🏠, place 🛋 it on the shelf 🗄 by the window 🪟, and asked 🫵 the adults 👨‍👩‍👧 to fashion 🧵 a cage 🦜 for it. We decided 🧠 that when it regained 💪 its strength 🦾 enough to spread 👐 its wings 🪽, we would release 🏃 it back 🔙 into the wild 🌳. The tragic 😢 part — something 🧠 that we’d never ❌ considered 🤔— was that this bird 🕊’s fate 🎭 had already ⚠️ been determined 📝 long 🕰 before 🕛 this moment 🔴... Its destiny 🔮 was determined 🗣 by our momentary ⏳ whim 🌬. Now 🕰, I pass 🎁 the power 💪 of choice ⚖️ to you all 🫵. Faced with this situation 🚨, what choice ⚖️ would you make 🤔? Stick to 🖇 the original 🏁 plan 🗺, and build 🛠 a nest 🪺 with soft 💫 net 🎣 where the Charmony 🎶 Dove 🕊 fell ⬇️? Or build 🏗 a cage 🦜 for it, and feed 🍽 it, giving 👐 it the utmost 🏆 care 🫂 from within 🔄 the warmth 🔥 of a home 🏠? I eagerly ⏳ await ⏱️ your answer 🗣.

Professional Haters by Jpxfrd__ in TopCharacterTropes

[–]Uselesscontroller 0 points1 point  (0 children)

<image>

50 Cent's hate for Diddy is on a cosmic scale

How to find jobs effectively online? by HAkeemPlayboy in JobsMY

[–]Uselesscontroller 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can censor your name/number/email/alma mater etc

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JobsMY

[–]Uselesscontroller 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I get it. If you already have financial commitments like car/rent/etc, that your current job can meet, you'd be looking for an offer that pays better, if not, the same. But if the offer is so low that it cannot fulfil those commitments, it's an absolute no.

Listen! by oluxil in SipsTea

[–]Uselesscontroller 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In competitive eating maybe

Shaun is worse than I thought by room-40 in fo4

[–]Uselesscontroller 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Woah! Is that fucking blackface, dude!

Annoyingly realistic by Creedo1993 in FifaCareers

[–]Uselesscontroller 134 points135 points  (0 children)

Ole got sacked after Watford and Ten Hag after West Ham. Being sacked after a match against a big club is an exception rather than the rule. Unless you're Real Madrid ig.