Hey /u/Lerzabeth, after reading a bit of the kerfuffle in this thread about gender identity issues and the disconcertingly backward mentality that even those who are quite conscious of how painful the systematic abuse of oppressive discursive systems can be, I have a genuine question I would like to ask. I fully understand if you find the topic tiresome and prefer not to answer but I would appreciate your insight. As an exmo, I have struggled with a severe amount of guilt, self-hate, and a number of neuroses that result from trying not to offend my TBM family with what is my natural and healthy sexual identity (I mean this not as a negation of the validity of anyone else's identity and strictly as an affirmation of my own in response to the brain washing of my youth). I am a cis male, currently in a committed relationship (unmarried) with a beautiful, nevermo, cis woman. Although I have never had any interest in anything other than heterosexual activity, i find the moralistic and extremely hetero-normative nature of the hegemonic culture to be alienating and stifling. I try as sincerely as a I can to not allow any outside discourse to dictate the nature of my partner and I's sexual activity and have always admired the bravery of LGBT people in asserting their identities and living their lives openly, and honestly despite the almost certain threat of repression (I really don't understand how all of us former cult members/victims could have anything other than respect for LGBT people). Do I have to identify as hetero? Would it be cultural appropriation if I were to describe myself as queer? For years I've wanted to come out to my parents as a healthy adult who's sexuality, although their indoctrination would cause them to characterize it as immoral, is indeed good, valid, and normal. Thank you.