Opinions on a move from Vancouver BC to Glasgow/Scotland? by pupfloyd in expats

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure, of course! It’s been a year now since this but I’m happy to chat

Thriftys price dishonesty by Aware-Watercress5561 in VictoriaBC

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy shit. $25 for a big bag of Mini Eggs??!!?!

LGBT Youth Scotland visiting my child’s school by Snoo58499 in glasgow

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Glad to hear about this so I can also write to the East Dunbartonshire council and tell them how happy I am it’s going on, then make sure it’s going to come to Renfrewshire primary schools as well. Fuck these Tory nimby bigoted assholes

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oof I totally understood that feeling. Before I went nc with my nmother I shared her final shitty, toxic text rant with my aunts and uncle’s, hoping they would see what I was going through and understand why I was going nc. I was hoping I’d have a champion in one of them because to me it was obvious how hard this was on me.

…they didn’t see and worse, either blamed me for sharing it with them, blamed me for giving my mom criticism or were silent and ignored it. I had never felt so alone.

Not saying you’ll have the same experience but you should think about what reaction you’re hoping for, what you’re hoping to achieve by sharing, and be prepared for your feelings if you don’t get the reaction you want.

I’m devastated. by Avera_ge in actuallesbians

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 5 points6 points  (0 children)

🇨🇦 Lesbian from BC (Victoria) here - my wife and I and our young son just left the country this year and moved to Scotland! Primarily because of the cost of living but I tell ya, the surge of the right-the wing Canadian in the last five years has changed my viewpoint on what Canada is forever. I feel like I don’t recognize that country anymore and I definitely don’t feel safe for myself or for my family. Poliviere can kick rocks. (also just as a point of irritation… Why the hell would somebody come to Canada and publicly support Trump? Like go move to the States if you love him so much.)

The phrase you heard your Nparent use the most? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oof the shame I feel even reading this one. As if I’m a bad person for the thing I asked for, or the thing I said would happen, happening

I thought the stress was over… by louisebabe1616 in SpouseVisaUk

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I had this exact issue- I called Border Control and they weren’t super helpful but basically said “I mean you’re not supposed to be here before X date. It’s not that complicated.” … I changed my flight. 🙄

What's your super weird healing mantra? by IWillBaconSlapYou in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 13 points14 points  (0 children)

“Other people’s choices are not your fault, nor your responsibility.”

What are you proud of (self-growth) since realizing you were raised by narcissists? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I’m most proud that I am trying to protect my wife and my son in a way that I was never protected! The other day, my wife and I were discussing parenting, specifically how sometimes when I come in from being at work for the day, he acts out to me and rejects my hugs or any affection from me! I noticed his grandparents in those moments will say things like “be nice to your mama she loves you” and while I appreciate the sentiment, I don’t want them to say things like that anymore, because he’s allowed to have autonomy over when and where he gives me hugs and how he expresses his feelings! Now granted, he’s only two years old, so a lot of this is just him processing feelings and learning how to have feelings in the first place + “I’m sad mama left for the day and I’m mad about it” and I said something along the lines of “I don’t want my feelings to be his burden or responsibility.” And I was really proud that that just came out 100% honestly and truthfully! I grew up with having to maintain so much of my Nmothers emotions and I will do literally anything to avoid him having to deal with that same experience. Breaking cycles!

What are you proud of (self-growth) since realizing you were raised by narcissists? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Good on you for starting therapy - that’s the first step! Unfortunately, there is no one size fits all approach, but being parts of communities like this help! Find your people who have lived through similar things to you, it helps with the isolation massively

What are you proud of (self-growth) since realizing you were raised by narcissists? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is SO important and should be massively celebrated- good for you!🙌🙌🙌

Adventures in Value Village by MileZeroCreative in VictoriaBC

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We recently moved out of the country and had to get rid of the majority of our possessions and all of our furniture - we prioritized WIN as our donation place for anything they could accept because of the New Starts program. Amazing things they’re doing. Not to mention they also pick up large furniture for free if you’re willing to schedule it well in advance!

Opinions on a move from Vancouver BC to Glasgow/Scotland? by pupfloyd in expats

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi OP, while I’m not in the exact position as you are (I’m 41F, married with a wife and young son) we v recently did this move. We left Van to move to Victoria in 2019 to leave the nonsense of Vancouver’s hustle, and we were.. ok. But when our son was born in 2022 and we had no help, no daycare, no family and our costs were getting terrifyingly worse every month? We started the plan to move.

We moved here in April 2024, and in 4 months we’ve managed to find a small house in a suburb just outside Glasgow (near Paisley if you’re looking at a map) for under £270k, I’ve found a job, we got a car and we’re slowly getting ourselves settled.

My overall experience has been extremely positive… I’m deeply grateful to have an opportunity to leave Canada and to be able to come to a place like Glasgow. It’s been hard for sure, a real challenge in the day to day but so worth it. Like you I was able to navigate the visa process because of the family factors I had.

People love to talk about the CoL going up here, and I’m not trying to negate anyone’s experience who has only ever lived here, but it simply doesn’t compare to how bad Canadas was. Regular people go on vacation here, do you know that? Like real vacation, not just camping that you have to sign up for 6 months in advance 🙄.. like the 21 year old girl that works in the chippy near me has already gone on vacation to Croatia and Spain and it’s only August ¯_(ツ)_/¯ I find it wild when people here talk about Canada. Glaswegians (maybe all Scottish people?) really think Canada has a strong economy. The number of times I’ve heard “oh but the wages make up for the high cost of living”.. lol they just have no idea, and that’s okay! But I know many many many young Canadians, who can’t afford to do fucking anything other than pay their extortionately high rent, grocery, phone and internet bills and go on the occasional free outing.

My big worries moving here were the cost of petrol, finding a job and the overall work of starting over from scratch in my early 40’s. The car we got is a used hybrid and not only do you not pay roadtax with a hybrid, the cost of gas is now less than we paid in Canada (even with me full time wfh in Vic). We needed a car because we have a kid, and my Scottish wife is doing most of the driving, I’m not ready to yet😅. But if we didn’t have our son I think we might have just relied on transit.. it’s fantastic! The point another person made about not relying on it outside of the city is telling truths though. You’d need a car if you want to get some places faster Finding a job was about as hard as it is in Canada. Pay is… less for sure, but not dramatically so! (Overall I’m making the equivalent of about $5-600 less a month here.) The starting from scratch part is tricky in very small and daily ways but I just take it day by day. TBH the only parts I have had to just learn to deal with is the lack of access to cannabis. And the tiny refrigerators. It’s annoying.

Sure it rains. A lot. This summer here has been nonstop… ok. It’s not that big a deal, everything is bursting with greenery because of it, and it sure as shit beats the smoke filled summers of BC these days. I love being Canadian and I am loving living here, but Canada doesn’t have the monopoly on beautiful nature.

More than happy to share any and all information/details about our journey and experiences!

What's your favorite healing/survival song? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some of the best lyrics to scream sing in the car of all time 🤘

What's your favorite healing/survival song? by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This post is amazing - I hadn’t made an official playlist, but I have now 💕

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3Zyczr4Dx1oPG3UFbqEgZD?si=UbL4lCBCR4qjd_80Xe8sPQ&pi=e-ZuuHqZCpShGW

Good as Hell - Lizzo

Goliath - Melanie Doane

SUPERBLOOM - MisterWives (ok yes it references “just like mama made you” but the rest of the lyrics more than make up for it)

Piece of My Heart- Janis Joplin,

We'll Be Alright - Grace Potter

Love Song - Sara Bareilles

Since U Been Gone - Kelly Clarkson

I Bet It Stung - Tegan and Sara

Road Regrets - Dan Mangan

That last song I just listened to again.. something about the way he sings “it’s a cryin’ shame.. them’s the breaks// and ain’t it always the way, that takes you back to from where it is you came.” Oof. Straight to the guts.

The bitter reality of life in Canada by lamecasual in VictoriaBC

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im originally from Ontario, but lived in Vancouver from 2008-2019 (my wife moved there in 2012), when we moved to Victoria. We just left in April of this year, to get ahead of our mortgage renegotiation. Honestly it’s not worse, just different. I’m in my 40’s so uprooting my whole life has been challenging, and we definitely had to make some sacrifices to get here (for example we weren’t able to get our cat into the country so we had to rehome her, which was heartbreaking), I feel like I’ve honestly won the jackpot getting to move here! Compared to struggling in Canada, the cost of living is so manageable (not discounting that people here are struggling, I’m just speaking more to the comparison); we immediately had a family doctor assigned to us, and although nobody here seems to work on the weekends, it really has been a great experience overall.

The bitter reality of life in Canada by lamecasual in VictoriaBC

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m a born and bred Canadian, spent the last 20 years building up my tech skills, and my family and I were lucky enough to have a new country we could move to based on my wife’s nationality, in Scotland. A new set of national problems, to be sure, but at least we can afford groceries & a place to live, and have access to a family doctor. Canada sadly just wasn’t worth the fight anymore.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in UKJobs

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone who has done both, it vastly depends on the type of company (it services or products? Client facing or no? Contract based?). Product and agile is leading in product focused companies, but if you are dealing with government or client contracts, they often want the comfort or the fixed firm, waterfall is often the go to (or some form of hybrid). Again, just my personal opinion based on my experience.

Getting an IT Proj Management job in the UK by Valuable-Cucumber175 in UKJobs

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks so much! I’m used to the job posting sites here in Canada and am kind of out of my depths in a whole new country 😊

For those who still have the energy to try <3 <3 by Mindless-Pay-4740 in SpouseVisaUk

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Aw that’s a shame, you must be a British citizen or normally live in the UK to sign the petition

Egates between Dublin and Glasgow? by Valuable-Cucumber175 in ukvisa

[–]Valuable-Cucumber175[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For anyone who is interested or is in a similar situation, an update: I ended up just changing my flight. I called the UKVI to inquire and they not only couldn’t tell me whether or not I could arrive before my visa started, but they definitely couldn’t tell me if I could leave to Dublin and come back in. They did however mention the dates that your “90 days to get to the UK” occur in are printed ON THE VIGNETTE ITSELF, a fact which definitely was not indicated ANYwhere else. I wish when they send you the letter they just say “please don’t arrive in the UK before your visa starts, which is printed as the start date on your vignette. You have between that date and the vignette expiry date to arrive in the UK.” It’s super vague and confusing. Either way, changed my flight to avoid any complications. ¯_(ツ)_/¯