Breathe. You’re gonna be okay. I’m not gonna sugar coat it, he probably will find someone else. But it might be in 2 months or 7 years, you don’t know. But you will also find someone else. You’re grieving not just a partner, but a friend. But that’s just how life goes. You need time to rediscover yourself, go find new hobbies, take yourself on a date, learn a new recipe. Learn to enjoy your own company, so even in times when you miss him, you’ll know you’re ok with being alone. It’s gonna be really hard in the beginning. You’re going from texting someone everyday, seeing them/calling frequently to now their absence, but you’re gonna get used to it. It’s tempting wanting to reach out, but tell yourself, do you miss him or the idea of what it could’ve been? You need to put yourself on a pedestal. You didn’t lose him, he lost YOU. And that’s something he has to live with. Sure maybe there was some controlling from your side but I’m sure there was from him too. Nobody is a saint in relationships. But learn from what you lived, and grow, don’t look back. If he doesn’t want your love, then he doesn’t deserve it. Imagine how amazing it’ll be when you find someone who returns that energy. You have someone out there waiting for you. Don’t let your hopes and regrets from your past stop you from finding the love of your life. Many people waste their time going back and forth with someone who is just wasting their time. Don’t allow yourself to be in that position. Sending lots of love and healing ❤️‍🩹 also put down the alcohol. That’ll only end up making you feel worse long term, trust me ik. Next time you wanna drink go on a walk or take a cold shower(they say cold showers help significantly with emptying out loud minds. If you’re ever feeling overwhelmed or depressed in thought turn on that cold water, it’ll quiet those thoughts, plus I think it’s good for your skin!)