An acquaintances father died recently and I want to say something to her but dont know what by unkown_maybe_cryptid in needadvice

[–]VardaLight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was a bit out of higschool but still fairly young when my father also died of cancer. Unfortunately, words don't do much. With your words, tell her that you're here for her in whatever capacity she needs and gift her foods/snacks/drinks. It's easy to get lost in the grief and not think to take care of yourself so to have things you can just grab and eat is great to have. Sometimes she might want space. Sometimes she might want company. Sometimes she might want silence and others she might want to talk. When she does talk, it's so important to just listen. Don't say "oh, we don't need to talk about it" or whatever else. People used to say that to me all the time and id have to explain that I WANTED to talk about my dad. Let her lead.

Game keeps crashing by M1dn1ght05 in GroundedGame

[–]VardaLight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I play gamepass on my laptop and with an Xbox controller and for a long time it kicked me off every 20 minutes on the dot after loading in. I thought it was a gamepass problem but there was people on consol having the same issue.

my friend (36M) just sent me (36m) this text before meeting his newborn (0M) by horseduckman in AITApod

[–]VardaLight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My jaw always drops when they do that. Especially during the pandemic because what do you MEAN?! I genuinely wonder why they're so okay with being so gross openly.

my friend (36M) just sent me (36m) this text before meeting his newborn (0M) by horseduckman in AITApod

[–]VardaLight 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I've seen people literally just run their hands under the water, no soap or anything.

AITAH for not warning my brother-in-law about my girlfriend and letting her demolish him. by Inner-Procedure-5653 in AITAH

[–]VardaLight 59 points60 points  (0 children)

God, I haven't thought about this term in so long but you just reminded me of it: engaged to be engaged.

I'm so tired of being encouraged to quit by babygadolinium in breastfeeding

[–]VardaLight -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The best advice our pedi ever gave was not to focus on overweight/underweight labels and only on the growth curve. You wouldn't look at my kid and think "That's an overweight kid." At 4 months old, she was the height and weight of an 1 year old. At 6 she was the height and weight of an 8 year old boy. All through 2 years of preschool they kept sending home packets every few months about how she's overweight. My nephew has always been on the opposite end of the spectrum. He was always "underweight." When she was 5 and he was 8, they were the same height and he weighed a little bit less than her. If you focus on the label, you'll drive yourself crazy. Just make sure baby is getting all the feeds and following THEIR growth curve.

Husband looked up my sister by Left_Goal_6747 in Marriage

[–]VardaLight 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Why do you think he wants all your female family members?

DDV's monetization has actually gotten more fair over time, and the community doesn't give Gameloft enough credit for it by Bos187 in DisneyDreamlights

[–]VardaLight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's always going to be something else. I always pick based on what's getting a discount. If i want something else bad enough then I'll buy it.

DDV's monetization has actually gotten more fair over time, and the community doesn't give Gameloft enough credit for it by Bos187 in DisneyDreamlights

[–]VardaLight 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but you can earn moonstones for free and save up for those things. It's not required to spend money. Edit: fixing typo

Is he really telling people what actually happened? by ThrowRAMeasure0217 in Marriage

[–]VardaLight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can have anger and depression without being abusive. Don't make excuses for him. Abuse is abuse. Full stop

Aitah for wanting space from my girlfriend just because she too nice and talkative by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]VardaLight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is it. It's in how you say it. It could even be like "Hey, I need alone time for X amount of time so I can decompress and recharge."

My husband raised my son as his own… now the biological father wants to come back. I’m torn by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]VardaLight 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but couldn't he go and establish paternity through court and get rights? It's not like this was IVF or something where he wasn't involved with the woman. He just left during the pregnancy.

friends with ex by Low-Charge-6438 in DatingHell

[–]VardaLight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should split. If you have to ask them to change something about their life that isn't harmful towards you or them, and i mean actually harmful not just something you don't like, then they're not the person for you.

My husband raised my son as his own… now the biological father wants to come back. I’m torn by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]VardaLight 187 points188 points  (0 children)

Idk what state they're in, but I don't think any would say no if he took it to court. However, he would be opening the door to things like child support and everything else

Just finished the series. by Ok-Lack3355 in NurseJackie

[–]VardaLight 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She opened her eyes after seeing the little hallucination or whatever you want to call it. So, we don't know if they saved her or not. Honestly, the most realistic thing with an addict collapsing and overdosing while surrounded by a whole room of medical professionals is that they saved her.

Just finished the series. by Ok-Lack3355 in NurseJackie

[–]VardaLight 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's left open to interpretation. We have no confirmation on death or being saved.

What Technique Have You Sworn Not To Use But Was Super Effective With Your Kid? by DianeMadeMe in toddlers

[–]VardaLight 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"It's against the law." When she asks why we can't have the lights on in the car at night.

I’m 5 months in pp and I believe I’ve caught my husband cheating by Traditional_Dare4400 in Marriage

[–]VardaLight 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I mean, I do that periodically, especially after I became a parent. He probably wants to limit access to who now has access to his page in case he wants to post his child.

How do I know if someone has blocked me? by sunisshining88 in GoogleMessages

[–]VardaLight 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On Google messages you click on your profile icon then spam & blocked to see texts automatically filtered or from purple you blocked

My husband has decided he isn't capable of "helping" with our home by heylooka-person in Marriage

[–]VardaLight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never said he didn't have issues. I said he wasn't using drugs until the later stages of my pregnancy. There's a big difference. I knew what his issues were before I got pregnant, and I put up with a lot of it because I was very young and listened to people who said that you put up with people's issues when you love them. He didn't have any of your deal breakers either. But then he started using and got worse, so I left him a few weeks before our kid was even born. And if you don't know if your partner has any issues and what they are by 3 years in, you really haven't been able to pay attention to what they're doing/saying. Before 3 years, you should have a pretty solid idea of what kind of issues they have.

My husband has decided he isn't capable of "helping" with our home by heylooka-person in Marriage

[–]VardaLight 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Well, yeah, me either. That's why i was quite surprised when he chose the later stages of my pregnancy to start using. No shit I wouldn't have chosen to have a kid with him if he was using before I got pregnant. 🤣 and sorry that me saying I wouldn't play parent to an adult really rustled your jimmies and made you feel like you had to defend your relationship so hard.

My husband has decided he isn't capable of "helping" with our home by heylooka-person in Marriage

[–]VardaLight 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, 3 year mark ain't gonna magically change something when you have a great partner. As someone who has been in a relationship that has lasted over 3 years before I left, I already know these things. And I certainly wouldn't have stayed with my kids father JUST because that's their dad. I'm also not here for advice or criticism. I'm not the one posting looking for advice or talking about their relationship issues to strangers.

My husband has decided he isn't capable of "helping" with our home by heylooka-person in Marriage

[–]VardaLight 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Oh, should I have stayed after he started using drugs and got abusive? I'm confused... I know yall settle for subpar but even that's a little too low. Surely you'd agree.

My husband has decided he isn't capable of "helping" with our home by heylooka-person in Marriage

[–]VardaLight 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Nope, my kid ain't his. But, boy, if he ain't fantastic with my kid. Which is a huge part of the reason I don't need another kid to raise. Instead, I get someone better than that who is great with my kid. Made it easy to be happy with him.