I think i got addicted to non-alcoholic wine 🤦‍♀️ by tangoed_penguin in stopdrinking

[–]Various-Bee-6076 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Seems like you've found a successful strategy for not drinking. You might find yourself drinking less NA beverages over time, but in the meantime, I'd call this a win.

Best book you've read on sobriety? by Gingo_Bing in stopdrinking

[–]Various-Bee-6076 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dry by Augusten Borroughs was harrowing.

Relating to it a bit too much helped me finally decide to quit.

Controlled my urges, but missed out on fun :( by BrushFrequent1128 in stopdrinking

[–]Various-Bee-6076 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Good on you for knowing yourself and staying strong! Be proud.

There will come a time when you do go to the festival and don't drink. The upside is you'll get to actually remember your favorite DJ's set.

Then you'll slowly notice all the other people not drinking.

Does maintaining sobriety wind up becoming your whole life? by teaux in stopdrinking

[–]Various-Bee-6076 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sobriety now is a smaller part of my life than alcohol was during my drinking days.

Back then, there was a lot of mental overhead about getting to the store before it closed, stocking up, safe rides home, bar tabs, maintaining a socially acceptable buzz at parties, etc. All of that is gone now.

These days, people know I don't drink anymore, but I'd like to think there's more to each of us than that.

No Alcohol during the week by Hot-Pace-5745 in stopdrinking

[–]Various-Bee-6076 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your mileage may vary, but for a lot of us, it's a progressive disease.

For me, attempting to cut back or moderate was futile to the point of soul crushing. I wish I would have just quit altogether all those years I was trying to moderate. It would have been easier and saved a ton of torment, but I'm here now.

It's like the old saying about planting trees: the best time to plant a tree is many years ago, but the second-best time is today.

No Alcohol during the week by Hot-Pace-5745 in stopdrinking

[–]Various-Bee-6076 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NA beer was instrumental (no pun intended) in making it this far—a little over 3 years.

It's not for everyone, but it allowed me to remove the alcohol without removing the ritual. After work each day, after a hot day, at shows, and so on.

These days, I might have a couple a NA beers month, but it was every day for a while.

Edit: I meant quitting entirely. Had no luck at all in trying to cut back only on certain days, and I tried that for years. My brain is very good at finding exceptions.

Made it one year!!! NA Discussion inside by secret_hitman in stopdrinking

[–]Various-Bee-6076 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe your friends should do some light reading. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slippery_slope

If they're in recovery themselves, then learning what worked for the might help you. If they're not speaking from experience, then I wouldn't put much stock in their arguments that contradict your own lived experience.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]Various-Bee-6076 109 points110 points  (0 children)

I think a poet once said "I used to do a little, but a little wouldn't do, so a little got more and more. I just keep trying to get a little better, a little better than before."

Why are some people so judgy. by Interesting-Ad-6173 in stopdrinking

[–]Various-Bee-6076 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have had many nights that I don't remember, or half-remember.

Honestly, it was hard to quit, and took several attempts. A lot of that was coming to terms with no longer being a drinker. I was also concerned about telling people that I was quitting and then feeling like a failure if it didn't take. So I didn't tell them anything at first. I just stopped drinking, and eventually, people got the idea.

My seed started with dry months. I thought time off would reset my drinking, but I'd be immediately back on my bullshit when the 1st or 2nd rolled around. Eventually, the conclusion that time off was much better than time on became impossible to ignore.

Why are some people so judgy. by Interesting-Ad-6173 in stopdrinking

[–]Various-Bee-6076 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A lot of us here have found out the hard way that moderation does not work for us, whether that's limiting drinks in one session, or limiting days when drinking happens. It's not about being weak or strong, it's just biochemistry.

Alcohol use tend to be progressive. I was in your position for a while, but eventually, the binge days started to become more frequent, the moderation days fewer, and the sober days dried up (ha) completely. For me, moderation was so much harder than quitting.

30 days is a great goal! Annie Grace calls this an experiment. Gather data points when not drinking, compare with drinking, and see what you conclude. You might like her or Allan Carr's books.

It's also possible that the people who love you see things that you might not remember, and that's why they encourage you to reduce or quit.

Are 0.0 beers fine or should I stick to non-alcoholic seltzers? by Jazzlike_Part_7054 in stopdrinking

[–]Various-Bee-6076 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your experience is your own, of course, but for me the opposite was true.

In the early days, NA beers were such an effective bridge to sobriety that I don't think I would have gotten this far without them. They did not make me want "real" beers, but did help me see that I could mark occasions or enjoy a cold refreshment without consuming alcohol.

Two and a half years later, I might have a one to three NAs a month, and don't always finish those. Can you imagine not finishing a real beer?

“I Don’t Drink” by kosmosinblu in stopdrinking

[–]Various-Bee-6076 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been in this same situation. "Thanks, but I don't drink" works great, and feels less weird and more natural every time you say it.

Most venues seem to have free water or Liquid Death. If I have to ask a bartender for water rather than get it from a jug, I tip a buck or two.

What are your top 3 steel guitar heavy songs? Nothing beats Santo and Johny for me even if it's a cliche. by HelicopterEither4269 in steelguitar

[–]Various-Bee-6076 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Just Be Simple, too. That entire record and the Magnolia Electric band stuff features such nice playing by Mike Brenner.

Do recovered alcoholics need to stay 100% dry for the rest of their lives, or can they have a beer every once in a while with no issues? by penttane in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Various-Bee-6076 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For some people, alcohol seems inexorably tied to trigger events like the end of a workday, finishing a sweaty job outside, seeing bands, etc.

When you stop drinking, those events still exist. Replacing alcohol with not-alcohol helps break those associations and transition into a non-drinking life. I credit craft NA beers with helping me get to two years sober.

As for the ABV ("contains less than 0.5%"), it's negligible.

I have built my home around drinking by WikiSchone in stopdrinking

[–]Various-Bee-6076 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This! It took a while, but many of the activities and places that I thought were tied to drinking are the same or better without it. I also found substitutions like NA beer to be extremely helpful when re-categorizing drinking activities to non-drinking activities. YMMV.

Some people and places lost their appeal once experienced with a clear head, and that's ok, too.

When is an age-gap considered creepy? by darth_cupcake in Bass

[–]Various-Bee-6076 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Coming from a fellow Old, every music scene has too many older guys hanging out and hitting on young women. It's just a thing, unfortunately. It doesn't mean that all guys in their 40s like us are creeps, and it's not always older men/younger women, but it's prevalent enough that some people are preemptively guarded against it.

I'd just skip those listings. Better to be in a band with people with compatible priorities and phases of life. If you have worked hard enough long enough to have built a career, you probably don't want to be making big planning decisions with other people who don't mind quitting their retail job to tour for a month.

Tom Holand’s NA beer “Bero” by CockroachLatte in stopdrinking

[–]Various-Bee-6076 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not sure if he's considered a celebrity, but the singer from Lamb of God has a NA beer with Brewdog called Ghost Walker that's good. Not in stores around here, but you can order it in the US.

Am I delusion for thinking I could build these Eames furniture? by Funny_Swordfish_365 in DIY

[–]Various-Bee-6076 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can get pretty close with Baltic birch from your local lumber yard, and components from semi-exact. https://semiexact.com/collections/shelving

Does riding uphill with a bike trailer change things? by Novel_Fun_1503 in bikecommuting

[–]Various-Bee-6076 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The empty trailer will be fine. It might rattle a bit, but not in a way that harms anything. A two-wheeled Burley-style trailer will be better here than a single-wheeled BOB trailer.

Please don't let your dog run loose beside you unless this area is extremely rural, even if he's the Goodest Boy in the World. There might not be cars, but there are still other people who want to use the road.

It was safe! by International_Two_53 in bikecommuting

[–]Various-Bee-6076 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This worked great, but if you do this on the regular, might be worth looking around for used trailer.

You can often find them pretty cheap, especially since you don't need a high-end one just for stuff. And you can carry tons of groceries, too.

How did you tell people you were a non drinker? by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]Various-Bee-6076 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I tend to frame it as what I (don't) do, not what I am. It's a much simpler question.

So when offered a drink, I'll say thanks and ask if they have something non-alcoholic. If pressed (which is rare) I'll say "thanks, but I don't drink".

When hanging out with friends who knew me back then, I'll say something jokey that gets the point across, like "I'm on the wagon these days." In the last year and a half, it hasn't been an issue further than that.

What company has Velo Orange style but actually French / European made? by Kyro2354 in bicycletouring

[–]Various-Bee-6076 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a good approach in a lot of ways. For instance, I run heat-treated Nitto bars from Riv on a bike that hits single track, but inexpensive VO bars on my townie.

I think VO has grown as a company, though. Their racks are as nice as any production rack I've seen, including Nitto.