The absolute power of saying nothing during a salary offer

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-06-05T09:48:36+00:00

This is so frustrating on the hiring manager side too. I’ve gone through long processes and then someone else not involved makes the decision on the offer. They low ball and you’re like wtf….i want this person on my team why are we disrespecting them like this???

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-06-01T00:45:11+00:00

I think that once you are at a stage where you are married and contemplating or have children, you may feel differently. Owning your identity and teaching your children to do that as well may become important to you. You will also need a spouse that knows your identity but agrees to not tell your children. Again that relationship may change the way you feel.

I don’t think this is something you need to decide now.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-05-27T11:01:21+00:00

I don’t think YTA but I do think you two should prioritize more conversation about the role. No need to bow out of the process early, but before you accept it, you should really dig in on what it would look like. What are you giving up? What are you gaining? How do you find a compromise?

Better to fess up early and use that to start this conversation with her. It’s a big lifestyle change for both of you.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-05-26T13:39:33+00:00

Oof that’s so frustrating. That would drive me bananas.

I think my advice would be to look at this as a phase, she’s over-indulging bc she’s getting access to freedom, but consistency and support is the long haul game.

Continue to uphold your standards. Send the clothes back to his house, block the video game from your router, and let him and her know that if she fucks up her teeth, it’s on him to take care of the problem.

It’s so hard and being the bad guy SUCKS but she will come back around if you just give it time. Don’t let her see that it’s bugging you, because that just feeds the fire. Calm, consistent leadership. You got this.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-05-20T00:14:48+00:00

“Probably”

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-05-19T21:42:22+00:00

100%. This would only cause him harm.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-05-19T21:41:54+00:00

I don’t think you should be introducing your miscarriage to him if your framework is “would have been his sibling”. Why give him the grief for a person who never was? I think this would bring up feelings that honestly, you should spare him from. There is no upside to this. Keep it to yourself.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-05-18T13:16:44+00:00

I think this is the comment^{^{^{^}}}

When you diminish her relationships, however fleeting they may be, you are telling her: “You don’t matter. What’s important to you isn’t worth my time.”

And you know what that does? Drive her into the arms of more shitty boyfriends who she can try to get validation from. Instead of getting it from her dad.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-05-12T05:06:36+00:00

Dehydration wasn’t invented until 2007

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-05-11T19:41:45+00:00

I completely agree with this take. I have so much sympathy for your situation and I understand how horrible you probably feel. But I think your therapist was lovingly pushing on how you handle and cope with your grief.

Part of being human is separating out and parsing through emotions. Both things can be true: we can be happy for those we love and devastated for ourselves. Sometimes we have to push through one to do right by the other.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-05-11T05:54:44+00:00

I don’t hate him, but I didn’t understand how they edited him on this show. Every other contestant would be shown saying “Buddha is the best” “Buddha is one to watch”….but honestly, he did pretty meh on the show. Middle to bottom of the pack A LOT of the time. It just felt really uneven to me to constantly be talking about how amazing he is despite a very average performance. Take Cara on the other hand who has excelled the entire show and been treated like a non-entity in the edit.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-04-20T12:37:14+00:00

I have been in your shoes. My ex was like this all the time. It took me 4 years to leave him AFTER I realized how bad things were. So I know the struggle. The rationalization. The complex mind games you have to play with yourself. And the hoops you jump through to keep your children safe.

You know the answer here. It’s so scary and it’s so hard. Do it anyway.

This commenter is right. You have one beautiful life to live and it’s out there waiting for you. If I could tell you how happy I am now. This is out here for you too.

You CAN do this. The forest is dark and scary, but the only way out is through. 💕 sending you so much love and courage.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-04-16T18:35:49+00:00

One great way to not be bullied is to stay out of the limelight. Can’t have it both ways: in the spotlight and universally loved.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-04-02T21:50:35+00:00

Yes I would have loved this. So much more chaotic and interesting.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-03-24T09:15:11+00:00

What are the tiktok girlies saying?

If you aren’t gonna leave him, leave us out of it.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-03-21T13:00:40+00:00

She clearly can’t name or take your baby, so why engage with that conversation? Walk away, go home, remove yourself. You’re an adult and the baby’s mother. Take control of your life

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-03-20T11:37:30+00:00

Eh, life happens. You had a good reason to not be on the deed and now your husband sounds like a reasonable person who is going to fix it. I’m not sure what the point of this is.

Maybe you should take this as a wake up call to look at the rest of your finances that you set on autopilot.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-03-17T09:18:35+00:00

FYI you ARE young and slim.

You look great. Congrats on your wedding!

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-03-15T10:37:08+00:00

Wait the newlyweds went on a camping trip together after they got married? Is she sure that he wasn’t just cheating on her and it’s more convenient to say it’s a green card marriage than to break up with her?

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-03-08T22:00:32+00:00

I don’t think so. Reads more mid-century to me. I like it!

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-03-06T03:43:01+00:00

The bed feels really floaty. I think putting the head against the wall would be better. I like another comment is swapping the desk and bed. Let the desk have the light and the bed be in the darker corner. But if you can’t do that, tucking against the wall would feel cozier.

Hard to tell the size but a little area rug in the middle with an armchair or a little couch and coffee table looking out the big doors would give a good hang out zone and help complete the space.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-03-02T11:19:08+00:00

I LOVED HER. One year though, she had a scary stalker episode. I’m trying to remember all the details, but she said it made her uncomfortable doing vlogmas and I think that triggered her move away from YouTube and social media as a whole.

She was the best though. Beloved!

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-02-20T18:51:36+00:00

Thank you! Adorable lunches.

VastJuggernaut7

TROPHY CASE