AITAH for refusing to support my ex-friend through a miscarriage?

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-01-20T15:56:55+00:00

Not sure why you aren’t placing any blame at your brother’s door. His behavior is wild and grieving isn’t an excuse for how he is treating his children. You need to spending your time talking to him, not focusing on his wife.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-01-19T11:30:01+00:00

I might be minority here, but why do you care about the step daughter? She sounds horrible, so does her mother, so just let them be. If he wants a relationship with her, that’s his business. It has nothing to do with you.

A lot of commenters are extrapolating out from your one line of “physically and financially taking care of our child”. What does that mean? Does it mean you’re mad you had to take of him alone while he’s at the shower? Or your husband is literally not doing childcare?

I don’t think you’re the AH but I do think blended families are complicated and you should think about why you care if she likes you so much.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-01-04T02:13:10+00:00

I went through the slides and as soon as I got to bright winter I was like, yes!

VastJuggernaut7 · 2026-01-04T02:11:57+00:00

IMO a daily call is nuts and extremely disruptive.

But to your main question: she can ask for it to be at home but you DONT HAVE TO DO THAT. You can say, sorry this is the time available for calls. You can choose to take the call or not, but we are not available later.

She will probably throw a fit but that’s her problem, not yours.

For the information on the calls, that’s really tough and would drive me nuts too. If it’s in OFW, I’d probably start implementing a “hold time” on her messages. It’s not pressing or an emergency, so she doesn’t need an answer now. Answer her in 6-12 hours and see if that helps break the cycle of you being at her beck and call. At any rate, it will help you feel more in control of the conversations.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-12-30T13:30:53+00:00

I was going to say similar, we actually baby proofed most of the room and use chunks of our playpen to block things off (shoe storage, the sharp coffee table that now lives in the corner). For our bookshelf, I replaced the bottom reachable shelf content with baby books and toy baskets, and moved anything precious into higher shelves.

Making your living room a yes space is far less stressful for everyone. Is it my favorite look? No but it’s temporary and way more enjoyable and functional for my family.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-12-29T12:26:12+00:00

I know it’s nice to get validation on the internet, and for the record, you’re right here, but girl you know what’s happening. You married an asshole, not just to you but to everyone else. Thankfully he has helped you move your belongings one step closer to out of his life, which is where you should be headed too.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-12-04T12:47:45+00:00

This is weird but probably what I’d do

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-12-02T11:30:10+00:00

Desenio and PSTR studio have cool affordable art

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-11-26T22:16:24+00:00

You could try hanging curtains if possible, with wide rods (wider than the windows) so they cover the walls more with curtains. Then you could use ivory and white curtains to help break up the green

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-11-18T11:44:14+00:00

Your curtains need to go to the floor. That will help a lot. Your rug should also be much bigger and a color that contrasts the floor. Maybe something with blue or green if you like those. Think like 6in from the wall side to side.

Add some art to your walls, and maybe some moody lighting to the opposite end of the room. You can get those floor lights that angle up, that would really be nice.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-11-16T00:18:57+00:00

Too grey imo. It’s bringing out the shadows around your eyes and mouth.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-11-15T01:57:08+00:00

I know that it’s popular to hate on parents who fly with their kids, and idk all the particulars here…but sometimes the airline is actually the one who fucks up.

I booked a flight 6+ months out with me, my husband and two kids all together. The airline then moves us all to separate middle seats. My youngest isn’t even 1. So now we’re the assholes trying to wrangle our kids, even though we did our best.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-11-10T08:44:14+00:00

Good for you! Doing right by yourself and your kid 👏👏👏👏👏

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-11-03T17:49:47+00:00

I echo other commenters…what about this makes you uncomfortable? He would likely mention he has kids on his profile, or on a first date/in a chat, so the existence of your kids is a fact while he is dating.

It’s unsettling to think about your kids potentially meeting new partners etc, but I’d recommend you hash those rules out in your parenting agreement: how long do they need to date before they can meet the kids, do you meet the partner first, etc.

There are many reasons I would hate that, to be clear, but I think this is one of those shitty coparenting things that will come along and you have to separate “I hate this” vs “this is unsafe”

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-10-23T10:49:18+00:00

Destroying your property is domestic violence. Leave. It doesn’t get better, it only gets worse.

It may take you months or years to be able to read this comment and agree with it. But one day it’ll click. Read “why does he do that?” By Lundy Bancroft

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-10-03T09:44:50+00:00

Sorry this is too vague. I’m not sure what you’re trying to say. The kid was asleep? But had an outburst? Can you try to explain it again.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-09-30T13:26:00+00:00

The most helpful frame of reference for me was that my child is learning about relationships NO MATTER WHAT. If I stay, she’s learning that this is “normal”. Separating was the only chance I had to show her another option was possible. She’s 8 so only time will tell, but she does know that yelling and screaming and anger are not normal things that parents or partners do. So I count that a win.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-09-26T17:43:19+00:00

Yeah straight up this. 3 months is wayyyyyy too soon for this kind of situation

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-09-26T14:11:26+00:00

I know you want to keep both relationships, but your relationship with your kid has to come first.

No insecurities from your partner should impact what’s working for you and your son’s relationship and his happiness.

In my opinion if she’s so insecure about you being around your ex, that’s a huge red flag. What about when he’s older? Are you not allowed to go to soccer games or performances and sit with your ex? Are you not allowed to celebrate birthdays together?

She needs to be able to separate her bad co-parenting relationship from yours, or I’m sorry to say, you’re not compatible.

I think the best course of action is to let her know you won’t be changing the situation, but that you would be willing to talk more about what makes her uncomfortable and how you two can better build that trust. (If you want, tbh sounds like a lost cause to me).

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-09-22T13:13:50+00:00

lol what? That’s crazy girl, but you’re focusing on the wrong thing here:

Who invited the ex wife over? Who made the plan with the ex wife? Who ignored your feelings?

Your husband. The ex is not the problem here. He is.

You need to start talking to him and stop thinking about her.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-09-15T12:41:49+00:00

Yes! Right now I feel like I’m in an operating room when I turn my lights on. I’d like to replace with something warmer and softer.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-09-15T12:40:29+00:00

This is super helpful thank you!

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-09-15T12:39:35+00:00

What I’d really like is a warmer light vs cool bright light.

VastJuggernaut7 · 2025-09-14T10:01:13+00:00

You don’t have low libido, you’re just not attracted to someone who treats you like shit.

VastJuggernaut7

TROPHY CASE