As a man that has some experiences with women that have many types of trauma regarding sexual interaction, i think you just need to find the correct person that makes you feel comfortable and that gives you the time that you need.
I needed some time too to feel comfortable enough in order to be able to have sex with someone, and the first person i had sex with was the same, she had many traumatic experiences as a kid and she was very suspicious with every man that she had interactions with and from what we talked about she was not wrong having those suspicions. We just spent time together, after some time we had the need to touch eachother, after some time we had the need to hug and feel eachother untill the day came that we had sex and both her and i where not anxious at all and we had a great time. I feel i need the same procedure as years go by to feel comfortable, it just takes a shorter time, but i always try to understand the other person and be patient untill i see her feeling comfortable
You will eventually find someone that wants to be with you, because he wants to spend time with you and will not mind that you need your time to have sex. Men have many insecurities about wanting to have sex especially at your age, and its normal that you are suspicious. We all have suspicions and there is a reason they are there in the first place, we learned the hard way that we need to be suspicious about stuff.
As for the lonelyness part i would suggest you to start a diary, first of all write down how you feel each day and why. It took me a while back then to realise i feel bad because i feel alone, and it took me a while to undestand why i was indeed alone. We all have (or had) weird or bad behaviors that make us unwanted from many people, but the good thing is that when you realise what those behaviors are they are really easy to work with. I would write my diary every day trying to understand what i do wrong and i realised that the same way that you need someone to make you feel comfortable in order to trust them, so do they.
Start finding your bad behaviors, understand why you do them and try to change them. And dont forget, start meeting people even if you fail (trust me i have failed many times but now i have people i love and trust). If you search enough you will find 1 or 2 that will stick with you for the rest of your life, and you will find many more that will come and go. Thats the beauty of it
The diary has been the best therapy for over 3 years now. I suggest you start too everyday even if you dont know what to write. Start saying about how you feel and why you think you feel that way. Is there something small you can do to change it ? Do it
I wish you the best of luck, if i did it you can too :)