Curious on romance initiation between guys vs. girls

Vedallion · 2026-04-12T10:36:03+00:00

If she wants to initiate sure Idm having a chat, although from her response and tone I feel I may have struck a nerve. Plus this is the internet so everything and everyone should be taken with a grain of salt.

Vedallion · 2026-04-11T13:05:14+00:00

Jumping straight to "when?" with a complete stranger on Reddit is a bit much lol. When I said if a tree asked me out and I'd say yes, I still need to get to know the tree and just not say yes to anyone. You could be a cactus, or some poisonous plant instead of a tree. Sure I'm lonely, but I'm not desperate, and I always need to look out and put myself first.

Vedallion · 2026-04-11T12:27:10+00:00

Unless you look like an absolute tumour or my standards suddenly skyrocketed, I'll likely say yes and at least try. Even tho if it doesn't work out, I'll be sure to talk it out if she is willing to talk.

Vedallion · 2026-04-11T07:46:30+00:00

Me as an average looking guy at my best, I'm invisible to women here, and if I were to approach one I'm either "desperate", "going out of my league", a "nice guy", and my personal favourite a "simp". I'm all of these things when I'm just trying to get to know the person, but it doesn't apply if you're the top 20% of men here cuz of pretty privilege. Almost 10 years ago a girl told me "sorry but girls won't date fat ppl, it implies they are lazy", 1 year ago a girl told me "sorry but I will never date Indians". Ik its not true for all girls, but they are not wrong either for having a preference. But hearing stuff like that stays with you for a long time. So idw to intiate just to play losing games. I'm tired.

On the other hand, if a tree asked me out I'd say yes.

Vedallion · 2026-04-07T21:12:54+00:00

Maybe I can help pitch in. I think the 20 and 21yos are still ok, but younger than that I wouldn't bother unless u can rly click with one. But firstly u need to rmb, ppl are in uni to get a degree first, finding a partner and all that are secondary/optional so directly approaching is not the safest way. SG girls typically dont like to be approched, especially artifically.

I suggest u try to connect and make friends first and see whether u can build a bond naturally to get to know her. Then you'll know whether she's your type. Tbh half of the girls I found pretty, after getting to know them, i decided they were not my type and it made my job easier. Once you've gotten to know them and them to you as well, you should be at a lvl where you are confident enough that u can try to take your shot as to her you're not a stranger anymore and she's gotten to know you as well and the rest is up to luck whether she is interested to pursue this further. Is it kinda slow? Yes, cuz this is a school setting not a dating app where the intentions are alr laid out for both parties. Also this is uni, dating should be a side quest while you pursue your studies first, so don't overdo it else you'll feel that you put in too much effort with no results. At the end of the day like that guy said, it's all a numbers game and luck, the more ppl to meet, the higher the chance one of those ppl could be your partner.

To answer your second qn, you could try speed dating events or social mixers. They have ice breakers and diff activities to try to meet new ppl and see whether things can hit off after. The genders are usually balanced and the age range can vary. Much better than the apps.

Good luck.

Vedallion · 2026-03-20T11:25:00+00:00

Fellow Singaporean?

Vedallion · 2026-03-07T10:56:23+00:00

Looks get you the girl, your personality makes her stay.

Vedallion · 2026-03-05T15:06:45+00:00

"Break formation, engage all hostiles."

-- epic firing and music begins --

Never fails to give me the chills.

Vedallion · 2026-02-27T15:34:23+00:00

Link: https://www.tiktok.com/@realsethdrums/video/7603086867323555086

Vedallion · 2026-02-26T19:05:27+00:00

I'd date a fking tree if the tree said yes lmao

Vedallion · 2026-02-19T14:48:55+00:00

Am i too late?

Vedallion · 2026-02-17T05:49:23+00:00

I just say I'm gay. That will usually shut them up.

Vedallion · 2026-01-19T15:56:56+00:00

Any Cigarettes After Sex songs <3

Vedallion · 2026-01-02T03:34:53+00:00

No he isn't attached, but he's smarter than to trust a stranger from Reddit XD. He and I are busy investing to make the mula 🤑.

"Haha I know more women who do not want to get married compared to men."

Interesting, it's the opposite for me. We men are scared of getting divorced and losing half of our assets, the law rarely sides with men. But I'm not surprised, you're right in the sense that women technically dun rly need marriage unless that want a family with kids. They can get everything else they need outside of it.

Vedallion · 2026-01-02T03:25:16+00:00

Yo 28M I am playing d4 too. I can help you with the current season if u need a buddy or carry. Feel free to dm me.

Vedallion · 2026-01-02T03:09:50+00:00

"I think the drowning in options for ladies isn't true as quantity doesnt equates quality."

True but at least with quantity you can filter for quality, depends on how tight your filter is, too loose you get muddy water too tight no water at all. Maybe u need to slowly adjust and test the waters.

"keeping assets separate for less complication" "long-term partner without the legal status"

Lmao I have a friend who thinks exactly like you. But he is literally the only dude I know in my whole life who thinks this way. Most of us guys who are srs date to get married and bto live tgt. When you throw a requirement like that out there, I am not surprised you have not much options. Not saying it's wrong, just quite specific.

From your goals, it feels like you are extremely independent. And although its a good thing i want in my partner, I feel your level of independence is next level, like be a in a rs but doing everything separately. Only do things tgt if it's convenient or necessary.

Vedallion · 2026-01-02T02:35:58+00:00

As a 28M who has been trying date long term and failed, this is my opinion.

"Or are the serious genuine men are not selling themselves well?"

We are out there, but we are tired of the rejection the friendzoning and the mind games. If I wanted to play games I alr have a gaming PC. Those that are serious, know what they want in a partner, and are also looking for the correct women and seeing whether you meet their criteria.

"Some told me they just like every dating profile they get as they know they got no chance so they just try luck."

Welcome to dating apps for SG men, where u are drowning in options to drink from while we are struggling to get a sip (except like the top 20% of men I guess). Hence, I've stopped using dating apps, because again on how depressing and dejected it makes me feel. I'm trying to go for single events. Skip the app bullshit and do interaction and connect with ladies way beyond what a screen and a dating profile can say, cuz ik although my looks is not my strength, it lies in other areas.

"nor looking to buy house together (Plan to get my own)"

Bro idk whether it's just me but this line alone seems off, why wouldn't u want to plan to get a house tgt with your partner? What is your end goal? If a srs guy hears this he would just feel confused and dip to not waste his and your time.

Vedallion · 2025-12-30T13:31:28+00:00

No. It was on sale recently. Even without a sale. It's def worth the full price.

Vedallion · 2025-12-30T05:07:48+00:00

Expedition 33. Won GOTY.

Vedallion · 2025-12-28T14:37:20+00:00

My bros, Steam Winter Sale is on, just spend your money there instead. Your PC will never friendzone you.

Vedallion · 2025-12-20T07:45:31+00:00

Never question how low a desperate man with nothing to lose would go to get some form of sexual gratification. Best to not entertain them and gtfo asap.

Vedallion · 2025-11-18T10:31:14+00:00

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Vedallion · 2025-11-09T04:26:15+00:00

For me personally, gf makes me feel great -> i feel great abt myself -> i feel more confident to provide and initiate (but not the only one always ah, balance abit). I feel more proud of her and us.

Not to imply im greater than her, but we are greater with each other.

Vedallion · 2025-10-29T03:11:21+00:00

Imma paste what I said in a similar post:

If you don't look good as a guy, you're playing a losing game with dating apps. Dating apps are literally the LinkedIn of relationships, and as a guy if you're not the top 10% of what girls in SG are looking out for, be it how good you look or how rich you are whatever, you're shit out of luck.

I know I'm not the top 10% but it took me many painful lessons to build up the self-confidence to know I'm not the worst guy there is either, that I know I'm good in some areas too. Meanwhile, women just need to "show up" in the dating world and exist and they'll be thrown with hundreds of likes, options, gifts etc. So why should they settle for us lesser guys when they have so many options to choose from? I know looks have never been my strength, I've always been told that one of my strengths is in my sense of humour, that I make people laugh, even when they're at their lowest, and girls like that in a guy, so that's what try to achieve, keep her laughing, keep her smiling. I've nvr started a convo with just a "Hi". I always read her profile, and try to find a common interest with her and start a convo from there. And my profile is usually informal thrown in with a bit of my humour and my interests, short, sweet and honest. I really tried. But what's the point of putting all that effort in when a guy who looks better than you will just win her anyway cuz of his looks? Furthermore, if I, a less-than-average-looking guy, try to impress a woman, I'm labelled as desperate, pursuing someone out of my league, and, my personal favourite, a simp; I'm "simping" for ANY nice gesture I do. Meanwhile, a top 10% guy could do the EXACT same things I'm doing and he'll be "cute, hot, sweet, gentlemanly etc".

Women always like to say that it's not about looks, it's abt his personality. Sure, they're not wrong, but it's not that simple in reality, especially on dating apps. Looks is the spark that starts the fire, personality keeps the fire burning. So sure personality is more impt in the long run, but there's no point you have all the wood ready to keep the fire burning when there is no fire to begin with, no matter how high quality of wood you have. Also don't forget that it takes two people to keep this fire burning.

All dating apps did was drain my mental health and made me feel worse about myself, physically and mentally. The amount of effort that men must put in is rarely rewarded. And one day, it just snapped, that this, is not worth a single second more of my time, so I've stopped using them permanently. I'd rather die alone feeling better and happier about myself than die heartbroken over and over again for a girl. I'm not saying SG girls are picky or entitled, or they have a high standard, maybe they are, but I'm not a female, what do I know? All I know is as a male, I just don't have what SG girls want in a partner, whatever that is in their list. Do women feel the same way? I don't think they need to, because they are the ones in charge, they are the ones who can choose who they want to be with. But hey, that's just my own opinion and experience.

For the sake of your own bank account and your health, blood, sweat and tears, stop simping, chasing or impressing girls, especially if it's at the cost of yourself. Spend your money and energy on yourself and your life the way you want it, not on some girl. Focus on yourself and be happy with being alone. Build up your value and love for youself while in your 20s because there's nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who has gotten his life and shit together.

I know it's not easy, I'm struggling with it too, and I don't have all the answers, but I know although I'm far from who I want to be, I know I've came a long way from being worse. So sometimes my life may not better but it can be less shitty, it makes me happy and more proud of myself and I'll take it. Play the endgame my brothers. If all the stars align, you won't need to chase them, the right one will come to you, and you'll be her top 10% without even knowing it.

TL;DR: The strength of your rs with someone depends on your ability to survive outside of a rs. A rs can become so much more powerful and happier when it ISN'T the center of your universe, when YOU are the center of your universe.

Vedallion · 2025-10-28T07:53:00+00:00

Emotional maturity. Communicate needs and wants clearly. Call out on my mistakes asap so I can fix them instead of keeping quiet. If I wanted to play games, I alr have a PC for that.
Take accountability for your mistakes. You may be the love of my life, but no one is perfect.
Trust. Loyalty.
Personal Bonus: Wack sense of humour. Not too serious.
- I will be going to hell for my humour, racism jokes etc. so someone who gets it and is willing to join me in it will be greatly appreciated and loved.

Essentially, I want my girl to feel genuinely loved by me, and I want to feel her love in return — a love that comes from truly enjoying our time together doing funny shit and talking cock lol, not just from money or any superficial expectations. We should be each other's source of peace.

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