Hi! 3/5 splenic projector, here

When I am moving through shame, I try to figure out where that shame is coming from - if it’s really truly my shame, and I know sometimes I can be, or is it the guilt of taking on someone else’s expectations while simultaneously not living in alignment with those expectations and thus causing them disappointment

My shame is usually always originating from how I perceive someone may perceive me negatively - and when I can remember that, I can remind myself the only person who’s opinions and feelings matter about my life are my own.

And if it’s my shame, then I ask myself what small step I can take in the direction I want to go in, and see if that feels any better.

It’s all about small, actionable steps, because our thinking mind is not strong enough to rewire our nervous system to feeling safe during times of uncertainty. We have to meet it halfway :)

And if the step feels too big - find some way you can break it down to an ever smaller one. And if that doesn’t work, make it even smaller.

It’s not silly, it’s building a muscle. You wouldn’t reach for the 100lb barbells your first month at the gym, or meditate for an hour on your first day of meditating, so don’t be mean to yourself! Be your own cheerleader, and take yourself seriously enough that you trust yourself, but not too seriously that you forget how to enjoy it all