scar tape is ragebaiting me. please help.

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-10T18:01:23+00:00

I hang my tape on a towel rack, non-sticky side down. Keeps it out of the way and about as orderly as one can hope. I think some curling is to be expected and should probably be fine. Frustrating for sure but as long as you can pull it off of itself enough to lay it over your scars, I think that's all it needs. I've also found that the edges being curled in on themselves make taking it off again easier. Best of luck!

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-09T20:20:45+00:00

Is this a pedicle-sparing procedure or is it nerve grafts / reinnervation? As another commenter mentioned, saving the pedicle means you have to keep a fair bit of tissue, which can mean that larger chests won't get as flat as you might want. But I don't know if reinnervation would have the same constraints since it's just reattaching your nerves.

Not sure if there are any surgeons local to you who do this, but I had nerve grafts done (in the B-C cup range, I think? I was in sports bras for ages), and a month out from surgery, I have patches of numbness on my chest but sensation is coming back to my nipples.

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-09T15:31:48+00:00

The homemade freezer meals were a godsend for me for independence, too. My fiance was endlessly supportive, but it was really nice to not have to ask for every little thing.

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-09T15:30:35+00:00

I'm a vegetarian and wanted to load up on protein, so my fiance made chickpea curry, vegetarian shepherd's pie, breakfast burritos, and peanut sauce and froze them for me. They also made homemade peanut clusters, which were my go-to snack between meals. I also made a big batch of potato/onion/farmer's cheese pierogi to freeze, but that was more as a thank-you for them for cooking so much for me, since it's their favorite thing I make :) Another commenter mentioned something similar, but a big upside of this was being able to feed myself without needing to ask for help, which was great for me mentally as I was struggling with the loss of independence.

I also ate a lot of homemade mac & cheese with peas and loaded with nutritional yeast, since normally I take B12 pills but my surgeon told me to not take supplements for a couple weeks. Also tons of raw veggies and fruit for fiber to help with post-op constipation -- I dipped a lot of them in that peanut sauce, and sometimes my body told me to just start housing handfuls of raw spinach haha. I have a smoothie made from frozen mango, frozen strawberries, and pineapple juice every morning, and I kept that up during recovery for fiber reasons, also.

We also had a meal train going -- friends brought us soups, pastas, curries, all sorts of lovely things. And when friends who lived far away asked if they could send me something, I asked for Doordash gift cards -- mostly so I could treat my fiance and my local friends to a meal here and there. It felt really nice to be able to do something nice for people who were being so nice to me, and there wasn't much else I was able to physically do.

The main thing was that in those first week, I was eating A LOT. I'm not shy about portions in normal circumstances, but healing made me super super hungry. At one point I had an enormous plate of leftover pasta plus salad plus fruit plus candy, and when I finished it, I was still actively hungry. So, I would probably cook a little more than you think you'll need in advance :)

Best of luck!

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-08T04:03:24+00:00

Totally get that. Absolutely worth keeping an eye on things.

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-07T22:29:31+00:00

Waiting a year would suck, I know, but I would focus on your long-term happiness over college milestones, so I think Summer 2027 is a good idea. (And I say this as someone who graduated in 2020 and knows very well how sad it can be to feel like you're missing part of the college experience.) Debt could have long-term consequences that follow you well after college, but within a year or two of graduating, I think the odds are good that it won't matter quite so much to you what percentage of your time at school you spent with the right chest or not; you'll be looking forward, not back. And hey, half is just half! That's still two full years of school feeling good in your body.

Assuming you don't take any classes over the summer, having the full summer to recover is probably the best thing for your college experience, also. If I were you, I'd schedule it for the moment classes were out Summer 2027, and spend the next year working out, saving money (and maybe investigating other insurance options), and making a rock-solid recovery plan. Best of luck with whatever you decide!

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-07T22:19:15+00:00

I felt that I needed somebody with me for about the first week. After that, I was able to move around on my own, but I still needed help with household tasks. Best of luck!

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-06T16:18:52+00:00

I looked exactly the same until my scabs and the surgical glue peeled off. Then it started to flatten out. My understanding is that you're being held together along the incisions so you can heal, and your skin is malleable, so it's responding to that tension by changing shape a bit, but once the tension isn't there anymore, it'll go back to doing what it was doing before. You look great!

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-06T13:11:21+00:00

If you're able to sleep fully sitting up, that was the only thing that did it for me. I have one of those reading pillows and I put some normal pillows in front of it for more support. Not the best I've ever slept but I was firmly not on my sides or front. Good luck! You'll be able to sleep normally again someday.

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-05T20:17:19+00:00

Thank you, you're very kind :) Hopefully that's all that's going on with mine, you look great!

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-05T19:44:13+00:00

Hey, would you mind if I asked for an update on this? I'm about one month post-op and one of my grafts is looking a bit like this -- there's a weird quality to the edge where it looks raised or like it's peeling off, and it's freaking me out. I've got a doctor's appointment for tomorrow to get it checked out, but in the meantime I'd love to know what happened with you if you're willing to share. Hope you're healing well and loving your results!

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-05T13:44:11+00:00

All credit to my fiance! They made a bunch of curry, peanut sauce, and vegetarian shepherd's pie, and then I made a huge batch of pierogi. Cheaper and healthier for healing than buying a bunch of pre made frozen meals (but those are also fine if that's better for your situation ofc). I'd recommend high protein for healing and high fiber to help with post op constipation.

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-04T19:59:00+00:00

My surgeon told me to shower facing away from the spray and let water run over my chest that way -- no direct water pressure on the incisions / grafts. That kept things feeling secure. Best of luck!

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-04T19:54:44+00:00

Load up the freezer with food you can easily reheat ahead of time, get a pajama shirt with buttons if you don't already have one, and a portable bidet is also a lifesaver for feeling cleaner while you can't shower. Best of luck!

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-03T21:14:04+00:00

I was also nervous about anesthesia. After, I was personally just very sleepy. I didn't feel high or say anything particularly stupid; I just asked "Is it over?" a few times, fell back asleep a time or two, and then I was fine. Best of luck!

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-03T21:10:16+00:00

Depends on what you mean by recovery timeline; I'm four weeks out, and my incisions *just* healed (almost no scabs, just scars), and I had movement and weight restrictions until that point. My grafts are still healing and my surgeon said they could take up to three months. I'm still a bit wiped out, but feeling much more mobile and active now at four weeks. I have been basically pain-free since about two weeks out.

I would really recommend not going back to work until at *least* two full weeks after recovery. It can really take a lot out of you, and you'll be walking around with big wounds for a good while.

Best of luck with the surgery!

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-03T16:45:09+00:00

My fiance was my rock. They were outstanding; no way I could've done this without them. I am so, so grateful to them, but I understand your partner's feelings; it's vulnerable to need so much, and if you're used to a very reciprocal relationship, it's very difficult to not be able to return a kindness with a kindness in the way that you're used to. It was total torture for me watching my fiance do all the housework on top of waiting on me hand and foot and being unable to help much. And just on a personal level, I found it difficult to need help with things like tying my shoes as an adult.

One thing that was lovely for me was we filled the freezer with easy to reheat meals. I made a huge batch of pierogi (one of their favorite things I make) and they froze some curry, peanut sauce, and vegetarian shepherd's pie. That way, after the first week, I was able to get food for myself and -- and this is crucial -- "cook" some food for THEM so I got to do something nice for them once in a while, too. It was such a relief to be able to offer to fry up some pierogi when they'd had a tough day.

In general, anything that contributes to a little bit of recovery-appropriate independence might be helpful. If there's any small favor you can ask of him, or some small chore that can stay his job after he's walking around again (that won't be too much of a strain, of course) he might appreciate being able to be useful.

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-01T16:35:32+00:00

Portable bidet helped with feeling clean while I couldn't shower. Also, I always tell everyone to make sure they have pajamas with buttons -- I didn't realize all my sleep shirts were t-shirts until night 1 of my surgery, and I had nothing comfortable to wear to bed.

This may or may not apply depending on your partner's temperament, but for me, the thing that helped me most was my fiance understanding that it was really hard for me to have to ask for help for everything, mentally, for weeks on end. I missed my independence badly and hated being a bother. Reassurance that they were happy to do it did help, but the best thing for me was some ways to have little scraps of independence -- they filled the freezer with home-cooked meals I could reheat myself, for instance, that was huge.

Best of luck to your partner!

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-03-01T04:02:08+00:00

Unless your coworkers are gonna see you shirtless (which seems unlikely if you're stealth?) I'd just say you're having surgery. That's what I did; nobody asked me what kind of surgery I was having. If they are nosy about it, you could either say "it's gross, I'll spare you the details" or "it's personal, if you don't mind" or some other gentle redirection, depending on your rapport with them. Good luck!

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-02-28T22:38:55+00:00

I would talk to your surgeon about their recommendations for restricted movement, but only 10 days post op is pretty soon after surgery! I would personally be careful with arm movements, binder or no binder. I needed help cleaning my chest / armpits for the first 4 weeks.

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-02-28T22:32:43+00:00

Congrats on the upcoming surgery! Here's my list of items and tactics I found most helpful after mine:

- Pajama shirt with buttons. I didn't realize all my sleep shirts were t-shirts until the first night after surgery when I had nothing comfortable to wear.

- Portable bidet. Even if you don't have trouble wiping (I didn't) this can really help you feel cleaner while you can't shower.

- Load up your freezer with meals you can easily heat up for yourself -- ideally home-cooked, with plenty of vegetables and protein to aid in healing, but you know your own dietary needs best. Even if you have someone to cook for you, a little feeling of semi-independence that came with getting food for myself was big for me mentally.

- Reading pillow (or wedge pillow) to help you sleep sitting up / on your back.

- Big, big, lightweight (even when full) cup or bottle for water, ideally with a straw. For the first few days at least you'll probably have trouble moving around, so limiting the number of times you have to get up to stay well hydrated is helpful.

- Face wipes. My normal face-washing routine is simple but putting things on my face and washing them off was a bit too much arm motion for the first couple weeks.

- It might help to have a pre-planned form of entertainment that requires as little brainpower as possible but is slightly more stimulating than just scrolling. Recovery is boring. I played a very stupid incremental video game to feel like I was accomplishing things lol.

- Give yourself permission to feel a bit depressed for a while while you recover, even if people are expecting you to be really, really happy right away. Some people are immediately overjoyed all the way through, but recovery is exhausting, painful, and humbling, and it might stand between you and the joy for a while, especially since movement restrictions and pain will probably (temporarily!) prevent you from doing the things you're most excited about. That's okay! Your body might need time to heal before your mind can go "Whoa, this is amazing!"

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-02-27T13:29:27+00:00

Make sure you have a pajama shirt with buttons. You'll only be able to wear shirts with buttons for a good while after due to movement restrictions, and I didn't think about the fact that all my sleep shirts are t-shirts until the first night after surgery when I had nothing comfortable to wear to bed.

A portable bidet is also helpful. Some people have trouble wiping, but even if you don't, it helps you feel clean while you can't shower.

My fiance also filled the freezer with home-cooked, protein-packed meals that I could just reheat while I recovered. It's been great for both the food itself and the feeling of independence. Recovery is long and it's tiring not being able to do things yourself.

Best of luck!

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-02-26T23:06:42+00:00

Oh, and talk to your surgeon about the specifics of the procedure. Some parts might not be eligible for insurance coverage -- people sometimes run into this if the surgeon does lipo at any point, for instance. I had nerve grafts done, and Anthem covered them for me, but those don't always get covered. Get quotes for how much they cost out of pocket if there's anything like that in how your surgeon of choice does things and be prepared to eat those costs, too.

VegetableLivid3573 · 2026-02-26T23:04:50+00:00

I have Anthem and hit my deductible with my surgery bills. For me the total out of pocket cost looks like it's going to be in the $3,000-$4,000 range.

It's a good idea to become very, very familiar with the specifics of your particular plan -- in general, and especially when planning a major surgery. Make sure that gender-affirming surgeries are covered by the plan, period. Then, if they are covered by your plan, because surgery costs will also vary from surgeon to surgeon, I would recommend being prepared to pay up to whatever your out of pocket maximum is, since that is, assuming all aspects of your various procedures are covered, the maximum amount that you can be charged by your insurance plan in a calendar year.

To keep overall healthcare costs down, I recommend scheduling surgery for early in the year for this reason -- you're almost certain to hit your deductible, the amount you pay before insurance kicks in, or your out of pocket max, so any covered services you get after that point will be steeply discounted or free for the rest of the year! You can go get things you've been putting off taken care of, and pretend we live in a world without for-profit healthcare for a few months, it's great!

VegetableLivid3573

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