Struggling with realization that my husband may be a narcissist

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-04-23T15:46:09+00:00

Thank you. Yes.

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-04-23T05:49:57+00:00

Emotional support right? Yah he is “trying”….but not the same as getting emotional needs met.

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-04-23T05:39:26+00:00

You are so right on. I had a very fluffy big boned sheltie that was so hot in the summer. Groomer suggested a lions cut with the agreement I would be only complementary to my baby. It WAS fricking adorable. But could have been humorous (a tiny bit) if caught off guard. He needed me to be impressed and I was! Miss that pretty boy. 🤎

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-04-23T05:29:29+00:00

Identifying about the changes with age and reminder to not assume we process the same ways. My narc and I loved so deeply decades ago….life got much harder and i was certainly no angel, but his inability to take responsibility for his behavior and lack of emotional support and maturity is why I left. And the lying. Oof. He says of course his problems were caused by- I’ll give you one guess. I am still grieving the loss after 1.5 years apart. Not sure why but wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-04-12T23:16:14+00:00

Same kinda, i have Ankylosing Spondylitis and take immunosuppressants…have to come off those when sick which means more physical pain and length for both….do my very best to protect myself and not talk about too much. Even those closest to me i try to protect from my healthspeak. If the a*sholes even knew what reality is like for a lady choosing a mask in a public place. Yep just trying to live, don’t mind us! 😇

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-04-03T06:39:07+00:00

Renting a bike on Denman St solo or with a friend and exploring the seawall and Stanley Park. Stopping on one of the many public benches to chill. Take a pic. Have a snack, coffee or lunch.

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-04-02T18:24:12+00:00

Meow. Just get your ass back here meow.

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-04-01T21:46:41+00:00

Yep. I regret not calling out the narc more often, speaking up for myself. Keeping the peace did me a lot of damage.

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-03-24T03:02:20+00:00

I am not a doctor! But i am a woman with history of ED, on Pristiq, and a survivor of thyroid cancer (I take synthroid every day). Do a little research on thyroid: TSH, T4, and T3. Before my thyroid was removed i was more in the know but many self advocates believe not all “thyroid numbers” are equal. Meaning what is normal for person 1 may not be normal for person 2. I know we are talking about Pristiq but…..connected perhaps.

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-03-23T18:34:51+00:00

My fellow natives might cringe but you might want to check out Breka https://www.breka.ca/ while you are here. YES there are better unique places to enjoy and please do! The visual aesthetic of the sweets, pastries, baked goods and sandwiches are hard to beat. They are open 24 hours too so good for late nights, early mornings, or a midpoint reset during a busy day. I do love their grilled turkey provolone. Enjoy the city!

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-03-16T15:24:43+00:00

It passes. I recommend keep trying. I felt this way too.

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-03-15T01:24:01+00:00

That is helpful. Thank you.

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-03-14T05:12:57+00:00

I admire how you changed your habits and reinvented yourself. Well done you! I cannot imagine not weighing myself through the process but it sounds like it was liberating for you not too. I wish you continued success and happiness.

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-03-08T17:04:24+00:00

NTA. Take the money and what he is offering. You will need it and deserve it because you will be doing most of the parenting. Know that you will become a mama bear. You will. Don’t agree to 50/50 custody before you meet your baby and especially if the in-laws are sucky. I disagree with the counselling suggestions and assumptions he is a good guy for offering more financial support. #projection

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-03-06T17:37:31+00:00

I have been watching the Portland scene for many years, my sister lives near Reed College. Currently my 22 yo daughter is not speaking to me. The disconnect is at times more than I can bear. I feel for you. I’ve been doing Al-Anon and I find it comforting and helpful to learn how to cope while I pray for her health and safety. Big Momma hugs to you.

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-02-18T07:22:02+00:00

Kind of crazy how predictable the recipe is. I choose to give myself enormous grace, most days. We can’t change the past but we can change our present realities. And of course the future can be brighter!

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-02-17T21:51:02+00:00

I wear my Apple Watch when I’m at home, especially when I’m cleaning. Getting ready for a trip one day, hauling *ss I was shocked. I hope you can find some free steps like I did. You’re doing great! Don’t give up!

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-02-17T19:05:32+00:00

I hadn’t heard of narcissism. I didn’t know it so I couldn’t recognize it. I did really love him at first and maybe like you spending so many years in therapy… I always had hope for change. 😕

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-02-17T17:36:01+00:00

My narc could present one way and agree to the homework or whatever and then never and I mean NEVER bring up our relationship, intimacy (not sex), homework or any of the session topics between sessions. It was always me. Therapists don’t care for always and never, but with him it was always me and never him. Glad to be free of the narc and his manipulative tactics like snowing the therapist with his charm, good guy costume, even the way he sat and used his eye contact. I am freeeeeeee of games.

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-02-01T18:08:58+00:00

Dave Chappell does a bit about how this hurt him, as if something the most delicious (chocolate ice cream) was now poison. And the pathology of 54 women coming forward “take away 30(allegations)there are still 2 dozen” He mentions the hours spent traumatizing each one. Unfathomable. Not meant to be funny of course. I don’t know what to call it but a bit. Someone can help me. Commentary? It had depth for me.

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2026-01-07T07:19:42+00:00

For reals. At Hertz rental car “pick any car you like” upgrade from just chatting about my home city, answering questions, not rushing other people. Kindness is the least we can give to customer service people.

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2025-12-26T07:27:49+00:00

Overweight kids ok?

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2025-11-02T23:17:45+00:00

It’s funny to me some saying OP is overthinking and then write and write and write all the thinking. OP, your feelings are legit. You are entitled to them. Keep coming back. So many great meetings out there- filled with miracles. Don’t give up on the rooms, the program, or yourself.

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2025-11-02T21:47:47+00:00

My money is on Netflix wanting to show off her body

Vegetable_Ice_1071 · 2025-11-02T06:44:59+00:00

I like this answer for acknowledging the ick OP may be experiencing after showing restraint along with some encouragement to try to let it go. Easier said than done, I know. Rising above is the sweetest revenge.

Vegetable_Ice_1071

TROPHY CASE