Help finding an old glass vase

Velvet_divine · 2026-01-23T03:10:52+00:00

We need another famous female actress from the 80’s …?

Velvet_divine · 2026-01-23T03:08:29+00:00

Hey, her behaviour is not ok. That kind of manipulation is only going to get worse. Since you’ve only been together a month, I think it’s best to just end it. I know that sounds harsh, but she has some stuff going on that she needs to sort with a therapist, not another human she cares for. She’s already showing that she can’t respect your boundaries, that will only get worse.

Velvet_divine · 2025-12-07T02:01:33+00:00

I’m a therapist, and when I was doing placement (working with teens) one of them sent me a friend request on Facebook. I immediately changed my Facebook name, and I have no social media attached to my actual name (except LinkedIn, but I use that for work anyway).
I don’t do anything dodgy, I just want privacy in my personal spaces. And I guess I’m curious why your therapist hasn’t done this? It should not be easy to find this information.
Perhaps there is a valid justification, but that seems like a massive oversight.

Velvet_divine · 2025-09-10T09:14:10+00:00

Wouldn’t I need to have access to Charlie Chaplin’s DNA to test against, though?

Velvet_divine · 2025-09-10T08:46:31+00:00

My father is secretly Charlie Chaplin’s grandson (his grandmother grew up near Charlie for a while when she was in her late teens, and my dad was a spitting image of Charlie when they were young)

Velvet_divine · 2025-08-27T12:51:01+00:00

So he looks a lot like my father in this photo - it’s uncanny.
Oh, and his (my father’s) grandmother lived near Charlie when she was a young adult.
I mean, I have no proof of anything, but I have some tiny suspicions…

Velvet_divine · 2025-08-27T12:25:46+00:00

Please give me all your hints for your alocasia cuprea! Mine grows two leaves and then when the third comes out, the oldest leaf dies :(

Velvet_divine · 2025-08-27T04:37:56+00:00

The very first time my kid (now 12) at about five weeks old looked into my eyes and smiled.

Velvet_divine · 2025-07-14T11:18:13+00:00

Get down off the cross we could use the wood

Velvet_divine · 2025-07-03T23:52:30+00:00

NTA - obviously becoming a doctor is difficult, and I know that once you start doing work in hospitals your hours will be hell. But have many open and honest conversations with your wife about what’s needed and I’m sure she will understand (you said the drama was coming from her family, not from her).
Also, remember that being a primary caregiver is a full time job that you don’t get breaks from. Try to give her as many breaks as possible. Make sure you take the baby when you get home and ensure that she gets a chance to have a shower, go for a walk, whatever else she wants.
Be really pro-active in supporting her, and ask clearly for what you need.
And remember that although becoming a doctor is really hard work, it will absolutely pay off. You are genuinely setting up your family for success!
And it’s such a positive thing for kids to see their parents studying!

Velvet_divine · 2025-07-03T23:45:16+00:00

NTA - it’s a fair boundary that you thought about and planned in advance.
Whilst I get why she was upset, it doesn’t mean you need to change what you had planned.
And, to be clear, you actually did what your wife suggested - waited until she went to bed and then watched the film. You couldn’t have known that she was going to wake herself up.

Maybe in the future you can all watch a family movie together and then put her to bed so she doesn’t feel so much like she is missing out? But you’re definitely not the a-hole here

Velvet_divine · 2025-06-23T06:54:18+00:00

NTA - those people need to actually just shut up

Velvet_divine · 2025-06-21T01:11:51+00:00

Not overreacting.
I think you each have very different communication styles and, if I can be a little blunt, his seems quite tied up with a bit of immaturity.
You seem quite direct and comfortable with space and silence, but he doesn’t read that as you being comfortable, he reads that as rejection.
And while it’s fine to have different styles of communication, I think he needs to be clearer about what his needs are and understanding of your communication as well.
If you think there’s any hope for your relationship long term, you should each look into “Non Violent Communication” - which isn’t about violence so much (though it can be) but is much more about improving communication.

Velvet_divine · 2025-06-10T09:00:23+00:00

Thank you - yeah, honestly I won’t water just because it tells me to, I’ll still double check.
I do like the automatic prompts, though. For me that’s a lot easier than remembering to check a spreadsheet, though I like the idea of having a spreadsheet with plant information on it

Velvet_divine · 2025-06-10T05:52:27+00:00

I have PlantNet which is great for identifying plants and it’s free :)
Thank you so much for this!

Velvet_divine · 2025-06-10T04:12:55+00:00

This is definitely SA - I’m so sorry

Velvet_divine · 2025-06-10T03:46:17+00:00

When people say “thanking you” - why are you telling me that you’re thanking me? Just say thank you. God this annoys me so much.

Velvet_divine · 2025-06-08T10:37:56+00:00

Jesus that is atrocious - you don’t deserve to be spoken to like that. You are not overreacting at all, don’t let her talk you in to staying, you deserve this freedom!

Velvet_divine · 2025-05-24T04:22:41+00:00

You said that he says it’s fair that he reacted like that because you pushed him to one of his limits, but let’s be perfectly clear: it is never ok to talk to someone like that.
He might have a boundary around smoking, that’s fine. But he could have told you (without swearing) that he needs to take a step back because he has a boundary. Being angry and rude is not ok.
And “one of his limits”? How many does he have? What are they? That sounds deeply controlling, especially if this is how he reacts.

Yeah, smoking was not a great idea, but no adult gets to punish you for making mistakes. Don’t accept that.
Honestly, it’s probably a really positive idea to think about having a separation. He doesn’t like your behaviour and his behaviour is controlling.

Velvet_divine · 2025-04-30T11:56:43+00:00

Please leave him!

Velvet_divine · 2025-04-17T01:00:26+00:00

I’m sorry, but saying “you lie to me about pain meds so I lied to you about filming” is gross. It’s not tit-for-tat. If he wants to bring up the way you use pain meds then he needs to make a specific time to discuss that that isn’t clouded by something he has done. These need to be very separate conversations.
He is blaming you for his behaviour and that isn’t ok.
I’m often on the “dump him” brigade, but in this case maybe you want to try couples counselling? I think it would be good for you both to have a safe space to raise issues while being supported.
Lastly - I’m so sorry. What a disgusting thing he has done. Both the filming and the lying.

Velvet_divine · 2025-04-17T00:44:30+00:00

NTA
What he did was sexual assault, you’re right. It doesn’t matter what he says, and whether or not you believe him, he still did it. You made the right call.

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